


Once There Was A Fountain In The Square

by China_Rose



Series: The Fountain Universe [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, First Time, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-19
Updated: 2013-06-19
Packaged: 2017-12-15 10:44:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 58,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/848604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/China_Rose/pseuds/China_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was the offer a lifetime but was it worth the price?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once There Was A Fountain In The Square

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N 1:** Set after Dean sold his soul to save Sam. The story refers to numerous episodes in Season 3 including the finale.  
>  **A/N 2:** _Italics_ are thoughts and may be used for emphasis.  
>  **A/N 3:** Thok Jr has created a music vid titled, _My Reply,_ about the story. Thanks hon for helping to make this story so special. 
> 
> **Music Vid Link** [Fountain Vid](http://youtu.be/nyHBfe3YeVY)
> 
>  **Beta:** To the three people who helped make this story something wonderful: Thoks, Kuhekabir and Thok Jr. You have been there every step of the way and your assistance has been invaluable. I owe you all so much. A special thanks also to Thok Jr for the incredible music vid and help with the banner. I would be all at sea without your creative input. You have made this story come alive. So dear readers if you do find any mistakes then please don’t shoot the betas as I always do the final check before I post the story. So any remaining mistakes are mine.  
>  **Comments and Reviews:** Always welcome.  
>  **Disclaimer:** No money involved here at all and obviously the Winchesters are not mine. I simply play with them occasionally. The use of images and snippets of dialogue from the show are not intended for commercial use and simply decorate this piece of fan fic.

  
Banner by China Rose

******************************************************************************************

 

  
  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Twenty-One Years**

**Prologue**  
 **1987**

“What do you see boys?” John asked his sons as they sat eating ice cream on a hot July day in Helena, Montana.

“A fountain,” Sammy yelled gleefully.

The four year old was covered in chocolate ice cream. Most of it had ended up on his clothes, face and hands but he didn’t care because he was having fun. He was with his Daddy and his big brother and the sun was shining and there was this fountain with water spraying everywhere and it was just so perfect.

“That’s right Sammy a fountain and do you know what’s special about it?”

“Nope,” the little boy replied as he licked his ice cream. “It’s special?” he asked tilting his head trying to work out what made it special.

John laughed, “Yes, it is.” He tried wiping some of the mess off Sam’s face but gave up as the boy just ended with more ice cream in its place and in the end John figured it would be easier to just put him in the tub back at the motel and wash him down clothes and all.

While Sam reveled in watching the continuous flow of water, Dean studied the fountain intently. “Water spirit maybe?” the eight years old boy proudly announced trying to impress his father with both his enthusiasm and knowledge.

“No spirits Dean, just magic.” John replied smiling as he watched Sam play happily around the fountain.

Dean seemed to deflate at his father’s reply, “Oh,” he replied quietly. He had hoped that his answer would please his Dad but instead he felt that he had disappointed the man again.

Sam was very excited and flung his chubby little arms into the air as he ran around the fountain. “It’s magic. It’s magic,” he cried jumping up and down sending droplets of ice cream flying in all directions.

Dean wiped some off his shirt with a sigh that was far too grown up for such a small boy. “Finish your ice cream Sammy,” he patiently told the younger boy. It was so rare that they had such a treat and Dean didn’t want Sam wasting it in case their Dad never let them have another one.

‘’kay” Sam yelled as he ran about the square, every so often stopping to gulp down his ice cream until finally it was finished. “All gone,” he yelled to Dean and held up his empty hands and poked out his tongue to prove he had swallowed it all.

“Hey Sammy come here a minute,” Dean called and just like that the little boy ran over to stand in front of his big brother.

“It’s magic Dean,” he breathlessly told his brother looking back at the fountain.

“I know Sammy, Dad just told us so.” Besides if Dad said it was magic then who was he to argue because their Dad knew everything there was to know about that sort of stuff.

Dean carefully wiped his little brother’s face and hands with a paper napkin and like his father he reasoned it was a bit of a lost cause as Sammy would only get grubby again.

“Play with me,” Sam pleaded as he dragged Dean to his feet.

“When I finish my ice cream; give me a minute.”

Sam had a smile a mile wide, “’kay” he replied, happy to know that Dean would shortly join him in his game.

The little boy began to run around the fountain again but then he suddenly stopped and came back to Dean, his face sad and his look intense.

Dean was surprised and not a little bit worried because Sam was usually so carefree, “Sammy what’s wrong?”

“You believe Dean?” the little boy asked, voice serious and eyes wide with concern.

“Believe in what Sammy?”

“Magic!”

“Do you want me to believe?” Dean asked the boy.

“Yes,” Sam told him emphatically.

“Why?” Dean was struck by how important it all seemed to his brother.

The little boy stretched up on his tip toes and whispered in Dean’s ear, “’cause it makes us special.”

Dean smiled at his brother’s simple logic, “Okay Sammy I believe.”

“Good!” and he threw his arms around his brother “I love you Dean.”

“I love you too Sammy,” Dean replied, as he held onto to his little brother. Sam was the only person in the whole wide world who ever made him feel special, magic or no magic.

*************************************************************

 

  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Four Months**

**Part 1**  
 **2008**

He sat on the unforgiving floor and listened to the almost continuous pounding on the door.

“Dean! Dean open the door! You hear me open the door…”

And then it stopped.

In the end the only noise that mattered was the sound of the motel door being opened and closed. Sammy was gone. Dean wasn’t sure if he was relieved or saddened by that but either way he understood it, after all you can only bang on the door and plead to be let in so many times before you give up or nature calls and you go find another john.

Hours earlier Dean had sat on his bed, head bowed pondering why everything was so complicated.

“Dean? Come on man talk to me,” Sam begged but Dean never said a word to him. He let the silence speak for him.

He just didn’t know what to say and where to start. Damn his life sucked; for that matter so did his rapidly approaching afterlife. Faced with utter confusion and uncertainty and seeing no alternative to the situation Dean did the only thing he could; he retreated to the bathroom to hide and to drink, much to his brother’s dismay.

So what had sent him scurrying like a sewer rat to the sanctuary of the bathroom? Well mainly he just wanted to forget; to escape the harsh reality of the future and more importantly the present. It didn’t work though because now he was alone, drunk and way too maudlin. Sam had left him to his own devices hours ago. Since then he had downed a bottle of whiskey and managed to lament what he had done, berate himself for what he had failed to do and cried for all that he would never get to do. It was the last one, all the things he would never see, or feel or experience that caused the most pain. In a few short months he would be no more and so he wept for the things he didn’t even know he wanted but would never get a chance to do and if Sam had his way, Dean would live and still miss out on so much. That’s the part that hurt the most.

It had been a tumultuous few weeks. He had fought his demon self, admitted he didn’t want to die and traveled to the Mystery Spot where he died again and again. At least that’s what Sam told him later and it was the aftermath of that experience that really changed things for them both.

With four months to go Dean had hoped to live his last days in orgasmic bliss and seeing places that he had never seen; but it wasn’t going to happen, that much was obvious. In fact if Dean could have chosen a way to spend the last three hundred and sixty five days of his life it wouldn’t have been the way he had been spending it. Sam had harassed him within days of the deal being sealed about the whys and wherefores of the contract and then spent the better part of the year trying to find a way to undo it. He had been driven in his efforts to save Dean but since the Mystery Spot incident he was downright fanatical.

Dean didn’t know in full what had transpired between Sam and the Trickster, but he could see how different Sam had become and it worried him. He hadn’t sold his soul for Sam to turn into this obsessed hunter, hell bent on saving Dean from himself. Dean wanted to live, no argument there and he didn’t want to face the prospect of being torn apart by the hell hounds, let alone spending forever writhing in hell. However, he wasn’t prepared to exchange death for life at any price and what Sam proposed…well Dean just wasn’t sure if he should do it because what Sam intended to do somehow made his deal seem a viable alternative and either way he was sure he would end up in hell. In fact Dean was positive that what Sam wanted would send them both to hell anyway.

Dean’s decision to forego his life in exchange for Sam’s had seemed valid all those months ago. When Sam died Dean saw no alternative. Even now the memory of the hours he spent sitting by Sam’s lifeless body still haunted him.

 _I always tried to protect you...Keep you safe._ He remembered so well the words he had uttered back then. _It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job... And I screwed it up. I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do Sammy? God! What am I supposed to do?!_

“What am I supposed to do?” his words echoed that infamous night eight months earlier. “What am I supposed to do?” The choice he faced today was less clear cut and the fall out from it was far more dramatic than the one he had made the day Sam died.

Back then it had been simple and he had worked out what to do in a heartbeat. It was an effortless decision whereby he sought out the crossroads demon and promptly sold his soul to save Sam. At the time it had made perfect sense because the idea of spending eternity without Sam had somehow seemed more bearable than living a lifetime without him. It’s odd how flawed that logic seemed now.

So he had made a choice, the wrong one it would seem in hindsight and he had spent every second since regretting it. It’s not that Dean wanted Sam dead it’s just…it’s just complicated, especially now that Sam was on a one man mission to save him.

The last eight months had been spent hunting the things that go bump in the night, fighting with Sam over the deal and watching his brother become…well become him. In between the arguments and the hunts Dean all but whored himself in pursuit of sexual escape. With death hanging over him, his need to connect with the living was so strong that he vibrated from the mere thought of getting laid. He wanted to be touched, to be held and to be told everything would be alright except his partners never cared about him; the concept of a post orgasmic cuddle was simply not available since his one night stands left his bed before he had even removed the condom.

So overall his death was gonna suck and his life certainly did at the moment. There were days when he wished the crossroads demon had taken him on the spot because what he had now was hell on earth. It should have been a good year or as good as it could get with death hanging over him but instead he had condemned himself to twelve months of pain before an eternity of agony. Dean just couldn’t win.

“Damned if you do and damned if you don’t,” he giggled drunkenly.

So the situation was dire. Not only had his whiskey run out but his time was running out as well. Eventually he would have to face Sam or the hell hounds and somehow the latter seemed less scary at this moment in time.

Problem was Sam couldn’t understand Dean’s dilemma; he saw things in shades of gray but Dean saw them in black and white. Dean had made a clear cut deal with the devil. He couldn’t escape it and a year from the day he made the deal he would die. However now Sam said there was an alternative but first he needed to tell Dean a few things, things he had failed to mention way back when. So not only did Dean have to deal with these revelations but he also had a way out of the deal and it scared him to death. There were too many ifs, buts and maybes and as always Sam saw the layers while Dean saw the pitfalls.

 _“Lesser of two evils,”_ Sam had said. _“You get to live. What’s wrong with that?”_ Sam had asked. “What’s wrong with that?” Dean asked himself, “Everything’s wrong with that.”

Dean was becoming an emotional train wreck and Sam was part of the collateral damage. For reasons Dean never understood, his brother always saw him as this poor person who had been wronged by the world. Somehow Sam always managed to look past the façade to find that little boy who had once told him that he believed in magic. Sam saw the innocence and yet Dean can’t ever remember being anything other than what he is now…jaded by life to some extent but not exactly bitter with the cards he had been dealt. This is what had Sam in a tailspin over the contract with the demon. He was trying to save someone who he believed deserved a better life, while Dean simply wanted to have a life. Consequently Sam was in a frenzy trying to save his poor unfortunate brother and this had Dean drinking himself into cirrhosis of the liver because he couldn’t live up to Sam’s idyllic version of who he thought he was.

Agreed, Dean’s decision to die in place of Sam was monumentally stupid. He knows that now. Besides, no-one sells their soul to the first bidder and yet he had. He had been desperate and he was paying a high price for it. However, what he failed to understand back then, that was crystal clear now, was that he was essentially abandoning his brother to a fate worse than death. Instead of saving Sam so that he could live a normal life, Dean had most likely condemned his brother to a life bereft of love and family. For all he knew he may have set Sam on the very course he had promised his dad that he would save Sam from. So now Dean faced eternal damnation knowing that more than likely he had unleashed hell upon the world when Sam turned dark side and his big brother wasn’t there to save him from that destiny.

So yesterday Dean knew where he stood; there wasn’t enough time left and his demise seemed inescapable. He couldn’t undo the deal, felt guilty that he wanted to reverse it and was miserable with how futile everything was. Today though everything had changed; the future was not looking good for either of the Winchester boys and the direction and speed at which things were moving told Dean that all hell would break loose long before the crossroads demon came to collect on the debt.

“So stupid.” he muttered as he relentlessly banged the back of his head against the tiled wall. “Stupid…stupid…stupid…” he cried as threw the empty bottle against the wall and watched it shatter.

While the noise of breaking glass didn’t bother him the door being knocked off its hinges sure did. There in the doorway stood Sam, all six foot four of him and he was pissed off.

“Sammy…” Dean started but only managed to utter his brother’s name before he was hauled to his feet and pressed up against the wall.

“It’s Sam.”

Dean gulped. Even drunk he knew better than to push Sammy’s buttons anymore than he obviously had.

“Just shut up and listen for once in your life.” Sam pressed his body against Dean’s ensuring that his inebriated brother was held upright and also couldn’t escape.

Dean opened his mouth to speak but wisely closed it again in case he ended up with a fist in it; a hulking Sammy sized fist, delivered with eight months of residual anxiety and pent up anger.

“You don’t get to lock me out,” Sam told him through gritted teeth. “All I’ve got is four months Dean and then you’re gone, and four months is not enough time so DON’T you dare shut me out of your life. I am here because of your half baked idea that I should live when you die, well guess again hotshot I don’t want to and if you go… so do I.”

Dean thought he might be sick. This wasn’t what he had hoped would happen when he brought Sam back from the dead. He wanted Sam to live not kill himself because Dean wasn’t around anymore.

“Sam…”

Sam shoved him hard against the wall knocking the breath out of him. “I’m talking,” he shouted as he twisted the front of Dean’s shirt into a tight ball. “You idiot! Of all the dumb things you have done this takes the cake. First you make a deal. Then you pretend it’s not a life changing event and you expect me to carry on all business as usual and then, this is my favorite, you tell me you don’t want to die and proceed to try and kill yourself with a bottle of whiskey. Shit Dean it’s not even good whiskey. So I think it’s time I took control. Don’t you? Because you are fucking it up by the second and Dean, those seconds are just too precious to waste. We have a chance to fix this so let me make it right.”

Dean subconsciously nodded and it was exactly what Sam had been waiting for all along. He wanted Dean to surrender, it would be better if he did.

“Sam…” Dean shook his head as if to argue.

“This will work Dean. You have to trust me. You trust me don’t you?” Sam leaned into him desperate for an answer. “Let me save you Dean.”

“You’re my little brother.”

“And who knows you better than me? I know I’m right Dean and you know it too.” his tone clearly meant he would get his way regardless of Dean’s protests or binges. “Come on, tonight you sleep it off and then tomorrow we fix this.”

Despite his misgivings Dean gave in. He was bone weary, dead drunk and just plain fed up with arguing, “Okay,” he agreed.

“Good,” Sam whispered. “You won’t be sorry Dean. I promise you.”

Dean wasn’t so sure but he felt he had no choice. Funny his life was always like that.

Sam led him out of the bathroom, undressed them both and settled Dean into bed.

“You can’t save me Sam…” Dean sobbed as he tried one last time to convince Sam.

Sam held his distraught brother and whispered, “I can’t let you die Dean. I won’t. I promise you this will work. It’ll be okay, shhh now go to sleep; I’ll be here watching over you.”

*************************************************************

 

  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Four Months  
Part 2**

Dean woke to a blinding hangover and Sam standing next to the bed with a couple of painkillers and a bottle of water.

“Take these,” Sam handed him the pills. “I guess asking you how you feel is useless.” His tone slightly frustrated that they had wasted time last night arguing over the merits of the _Save Dean from Himself Plan._

Dean swallowed the pills, took a swig of water but never looked Sam in the eye. “I’m okay. Slight hangover,” he lied. “I’ll be alright in a minute.”

“So we gonna do this?” Sam asked as he sat down on a chair opposite Dean.

Dean didn’t think it was actually a question but figured he would try once more to state his case, “Sam…”

“No Dean, no more discussion, we have to do this, it’s the only way.”

Dean tried again, “Look Sam maybe we should just keep trying to track down Bela or try to find the colt, get it back. We just can’t ignore everything else on a whim Sam.”

“It’s not a whim and we are so not arguing about it again.”

And as far as Dean was concerned, he was right; no discussion, no choice and no way was he gonna let this happen.

Sam saw the emotions race across Dean’s face but he had reached a point where he knew they had to do something before it was too late.

“What is your problem? You want to live and this will mean that you will, or are you afraid that I won’t be up to the job.”

Dean blushed and picked at the label on the water bottle.

“Do you think I can’t win Dean or is it that you doubt the connection between us? We’ve worked together for years, lived out of each others pockets, heck we finish each others sentences. I think we have it covered. We can do this but I need you with me.”

“I know,” Dean mumbled.

Sam changed tack and knelt down in front of his brother, “Look Dean I know you sold your soul so that I would live. Man I don’t even know how to thank you. I can’t imagine doing that for anyone…except you.”

Dean finally looked at Sam and there was no doubting his sincerity.

Sam continued while he had Dean’s attention. “The thing is though I don’t want to be in a world without you in it, just like you couldn’t face life without me. I get it but the point remains we can fix this; but we have to believe it, both of us do. Please Dean, I’m begging you… give it a chance. We have nothing else and if I fail you then it’s status quo. Right now you are going to die; if this fails then four months from now you are gone but if it works and I know it will, then we have forever.”

Dean had never been able to resist Sam’s soulful eyes and gentle pleading and he couldn’t argue the logic either. He had nothing to lose and everything to gain. “Fine we do it.”

Sam leapt onto his brother wrestling him on the bed. “You will? Yes! You’ll see this _will_ work.”

The weight of his brother on top of him and his throbbing head both seemed intent on killing him. “I just know I’m gonna live to regret this,” Dean muttered.

“Dean if you just live I’ll be satisfied,” Sam happily intoned.

*********************************

A few hours later they were at the tattoo parlour; Sam all nervous energy and Dean just nervous. Sam instructed the artist on the intricacies of the design and the placement of the tattoo and set him to work on Dean. It was important that Dean went first because as they both knew the markings were only the first part of the plan and without them the rest was pointless and it was the rest that bothered Dean the most. So getting the markings completed on Dean was essential before he changed his mind and the whole plan went out the window.

The tattoos had to go on the hip and Dean endured the painful process for the hour it took to complete it and then patiently waited for Sam to get his done. In all that time Dean never spoke and never looked at what was being done. He stoically stared ahead and never acknowledged anyone or anything around him.

By the time they were done Dean’s head was about to explode. His hangover had turned into a tension headache, he was starving to death and he wanted to kill Sam for putting him through yet another tattoo experience. The one on his chest had been bad enough but this one hurt like a bitch.

 

Fortunately this time because these tattoos were small they only needed one sitting and that was more than enough for Dean considering his somewhat fragile state.

Sam could sense Dean’s anxiety and knew when to leave well enough alone, so instead of discussing what they had done he offered to take his brother out to lunch. Nothing fancy but at least it wasn’t nuked burgers from a mini-mart. With a full belly and more than a few coffees under his belt Dean seemed to relax until the waitress flirted shamelessly with him about her shift finishing. Any other time Dean would have flirted back or let her down gently but today he gasped at her, stared in horror at Sam, blushed furiously and muttered, “Sorry…can’t…my…”

“Oh…oh! No I’m…look I didn’t know.” She told Sam apologetically and to Dean she added. “Damn and you’re hot but it’s the way of things these days,” she said with a regretful sigh.

Sam was trying so hard not to laugh because Dean just didn’t get it.

“Huh?” Dean half grunted in confusion.

“Oh sweetie you are too cute. The good ones; they’re always gay.” She left the check and headed back behind the counter.

Dean stared at her in shock but turned back to face Sam when he heard him chuckling. “What’s so funny?”

“You dude. You should see your face.”

“She thinks I’m gay Sam,” Dean snapped back, horrified by the assumption.

Sam looked at him solemnly, “I guess we both will be when this is done.”

******************************************

The tension between them was extreme by the time they returned to the motel and the impact of what they intended to do crashed into Dean.

“I can’t do this,” Dean muttered as he paced back and forth.

“You can’t _not_ do this Dean,” Sam told him.

“You wanna bet.”

Sam made two purposeful steps towards him but Dean stepped back out of his reach.

“Don’t you touch me, you hear me. I know you think because I got a little teary yesterday that I have this softer side but you’re wrong Sam. That was just the booze talking. Sorry if you thought it was something else but let me make it clear…. I will not be sharing a bed with you. I may have sold my soul for you but I’ll be damned if I’m going to lose everything else I stand for to buy it back. So find another way because this,” he pointed to the bed, “ain’t happening.”

He grabbed his jacket and car keys and headed for the door.

“Where are you going Dean?” Sam was frustrated and fed up with Dean’s constant mood swings and changing his mind. He accepted that Dean was scared but not letting Sam help was just plain stupid.

“I’m going to get laid,” Dean replied.

Dean had just reached for the door knob when Sam grabbed him by the arm and swung him around pushing him back against the door.

“The only place you’re gonna get any is in this room and the sooner you accept it the easier it will be on both of us.”

“Great plan Sammy. I don’t give it up, so what? You take it?” Dean spat back. “Well you’ll have to fight for it because I’m sure as hell not gonna give in to your baser instincts. Unless you grew up in a different world to me, incest is bad Sam. Brothers don’t do brothers and I will not let you fuck me even if my life depends on it…oh, wait that’s right it does. So go fuck yourself because I’m off the market.”

He tried to push Sam off him but his brother used his extra height and weight to hold him where he was.

“How many times do we have to go through this Dean? We have always had some sort of connection and now we have bonding symbols. Those symbols identify us as intertwined souls or to put it more simply, I guess you could say we are soul mates. You and I are yin and yang, two opposite energies that essentially balance each other out and make us whole. I chose this design

 

because it is a symbol of completeness. It’s made by an unbroken line which forms a continuous loop and because of that unbroken line it gives protection, strength, eternity, fidelity and unity to each of us through love. Our initials are woven into it representing our commitment to each other; it’s a unique symbol Dean and it represents you and I together forever.”

“Nice speech Sammy but its bullshit. Nowhere does it say that in order to have all that strength protection and eternity crap… you have to bang your brother.”

“Dean this is ancient magic. The legends speak of its power to entwine two souls for all eternity but they also say that it won’t work if you don’t seal it with sex and for the record it’s not incest. Our bodies are irrelevant because our souls unite on a higher plain,” Sam explained.

Dean laughed. “Higher plane? You wanna go join the mile high club Sammy?”

“Dean just give the bond time to grow,” replied Sam ignoring Dean’s jibe.

“See Sammy there’s the flaw in your plan. There isn’t enough time in the world for me to wake up and think today I will fuck my brother blind. No it just doesn’t work for me.”

“Dean there is no choice; you have to go through with it. You have the tattoo but to make it work properly we need to have sex. You knew that, so why did you agree to the tattoo if you didn’t intend to fulfil your part of the bargain?”

Dean didn’t want to explain why he had done it. Truth is any time Sam asked him something he always wanted to say yes because making Sam happy was his number one priority. Of course agreeing to a tattoo was one thing but screwing Sam up against a wall was another thing all together. Maybe he was a bit late in deciding Sam shouldn’t get everything he asked for but hey, there are some times when you just have to make a stand and this was one of those times for Dean.

“Get off me Sam,” he said as he tried to shove Sam away.

“Dean listen to me. We have to do this.”

“I’ll say it again, I am not giving it up, so what choice do you have hotshot because last time I checked rape wasn’t considered a sign of love Sammy,” Dean grunted as he tried to dislodge his brother.

“No!” Sam warned him. “You stay right here and hear me out. I am _not_ going to rape you Dean, you know I would never do that to you but if I’m right the bond will take on a life of its own. Soon you will want me. We’re connected Dean and although it’s a tenuous soul bond, it is there. If you stood still long enough you could feel it; even now as we stand here pressed together it’s straining to grow, how can you ignore it? Don’t you see; every touch, every kiss will make it pulse with life and need. By the time we fuck, as you so eloquently put it, you will be begging me to take you and when we finally consummate this relationship the bond will become unbreakable.”

“It’s still incest Sam. Not only is it morally wrong but it’s illegal in every state of the union and some. What’s more I don’t do boys…”

“I am far from a boy, Dean,” Sam replied smugly. “Listen, I haven’t slept with guys either but we can work it out together. Just trust me.”

“You keep saying that but there has to be another way Sam. This isn’t right,” stressed Dean.

“And selling your soul was? Come on Dean it’s the lesser of two evils.”

“No Sam. This is just like in Colorado when you were prepared to let Ruby cut out the heart of that virgin. I said it then and I’ll say it again, when did we throw away the rule book and stop acting like humans?”

“Dean that would have saved a lot of lives…”

“…we did save a lot of lives Sam…”

“…and lost more than we should have and Nancy, well she died anyway. We made a big mistake there because that girl was willing to sacrifice her life so that all those other people could live and yet you stopped it from happening and look what happened? You think she would have been happy with how it went down in the end. Don’t think so. Was it worth it Dean? I’m not so sure and maybe, just maybe in that case it really would have been the lesser of two evils.”

“I told you before if that’s how you win wars then I don’t wanna win. We don’t trade off this for that and what you want now is wrong Sam. You know it, I know it but yet you wanna do it anyway. I don’t understand you anymore man. Incest is like making a deal with the devil. If I sleep with you then escaping the crossroads deal is irrelevant because we will be in the express lane to hell anyway.”

“No Dean!” Sam yelled. “It will save us both from hell.” He paused briefly as if trying to work out the best way to say what’s on his mind. “I know we’ve been over this but let’s do it one more time. If we join together physically then your soul can’t be separated from mine because we create a bond that can’t be broken in this life or the next.”

Dean nodded. He got that part loud and clear, after all Sam had been saying it for almost twenty four hours straight.

“Now according to the Yellow Eyed Demon and other demons we’ve encountered I’m supposed to be a leader, a force to be reckoned with. We also know that this Lilith sees me as competition and is gunning for me but the fact is none of them would bother with me if I was nobody. In their world I matter big time.”

“Okay I get that but…”

Sam placed a finger on Dean’s lips, “Shhh hear me out,” he whispered, the quiet tone in sharp contrast to his current dominating stance. “We also know that they see you as my Achilles heel. They think by removing you that they can take me out. If we unite our souls then we are unbeatable Dean; they can’t touch you without incurring a response from me, which they won’t want to do, however the bond is weak without the sex and it’s the sex that makes us so formidable. So you see it’s the sex that saves us.”

Dean started to reason with him, “Sam please listen…”

“No you listen. We know from our research that some people have been able to break contracts with demons and the way they have done that is to find someone who is more powerful than the demon holding the contract. Essentially the demon runs the risk of being killed by someone who is more powerful than they are. You still with me?” He asked his brother.

Dean simply nodded, not like he hadn’t heard it all before.

“The reason we need this bond is that when the demon comes to collect your soul they’ll have to take mine too or forfeit the deal. But they won’t want my soul because I have the potential to destroy them. If they are smart and demons usually are, then they will back off. So this bond will keep you here Dean not send you to hell.”

“You’re assuming a lot Sammy. What if you’re not that important and they do take you.”

“If I wasn’t important Dean then why did the Yellow-Eyed Demon want me to lead his army? Since he wanted a General in command and he chose me as his leader then clearly he thought I was strong enough to do it. Imagine what would happen if we ended up in hell as co-joined souls? Do you really think they would want the two of us there, especially since I was to be the leader and you were strong enough to kill the Yellow-Eyed Demon? That’s a pretty awesome combination and one I think hell would prefer to do without. So you get to live…”

“…and you get to fuck me forever,” Dean whispered. “That’s the part I don’t like. I don’t want a future if I can’t choose it Sam. What we would be doing is wrong Sam. It’s evil and we don’t do evil we fight it.”

“Dean forget about the sex, think of it as love and love is never wrong. It gets lost and found, ignored and embraced and it can be so right and sometimes misguided but it’s never wrong. Sometimes we love the wrong person and sometimes the wrong person loves us but eventually love finds a way to bring people who belong to each other, together. Honestly Dean you could have punched my lights out yesterday when I brought this up, instead you heard me out and drank yourself into oblivion and then agreed to have the tattoo. Ask yourself why Dean? Why agree to it if you think it is so wrong? You think maybe deep down that you actually want this?”

Dean looked away. Sam was asking questions that he simply didn’t have the answers to.

“Damn it Dean, I wouldn’t be doing any of this if I didn’t love you. You can be such a shit some days. You drive me crazy especially when you act like a kid but you are this amazing person who has been a parent and a brother and most all a friend to me and I wouldn’t change any of it because you made it all worthwhile in your own unique way. You’re this incredible paradox of being both a sinner and a saint, you seem outwardly simple and yet you are so complex. You’re unpredictable and yet, at times, incredibly conventional. You are so confusing and yet so perfect and I can’t imagine a day in my life without you in it. Whether you frustrate me to the point of screaming or you make me laugh, you are my world Dean. I need you, I want you and I love you.”

Dean was overwhelmed by Sam’s admission, “I love you too Sam just not…not that way.”

Sam let go of Dean and threw his hands in the air in despair. He was so frustrated that he couldn’t make Dean understand just how important it was that they have a sexual relationship, so instead of rehashing the argument he took it in a new direction.

“Alright Dean consider this.” His tone was edgy and he knew he sounded desperate but he had nothing to lose. “How often have you said _I’d do anything for you Sam_ and how often have I asked you for something? Well I’m asking now. I need you to do this. It’s the right thing to do.”

“Not this time Sam. Please don’t ask me to do this. It’s wrong on so many levels.”

“Dean please, we both know I am more than capable of turning evil. I carry demon blood.”

“Yeah thanks for mentioning that one ass wipe. I thought we shared everything Sam why the secrets? Eight months you’ve known about the blood and you never said a word Sam. Not one word. Nor did you tell me that Mom knew the demon. Why is that Sam? Scared I was gonna run off once I knew the truth or were you more worried that I would kill you?

“People in glass houses Dean. I don’t remember you being forthcoming about Dad’s little message. You remember don’t you? How did it go again? Oh that’s right, if you couldn’t save me then you had to kill me. I think we both have had our fair share of secrets Dean so don’t go all high and mighty on me. The slate’s clean on my side, anything you need to tell me? Because this bond needs honesty to grow and without it we’re as good as wasting our time and I’ll go pack your bags for hell right now.”

Dean took a swing at Sam but Sam blocked, twisted Dean’s arm behind his back and shoved him hard against the wall.

“So I take it from your silence that you have nothing else to share. Good. So back to what I was trying to explain…because of the demon blood you’re the only one who can save me from that destiny. But if you die then what happens to me? Our souls are linked because we share the tattoos but if we don’t have sex then there is a real chance that when the demon takes your soul the bond won’t be strong enough to stop them and if that happens I’ll be left behind and eventually meet that dark destiny that we’ve all been trying to avoid.”

Dean understood it all too well. He had worked out quick smart yesterday that when he saved Sam’s life eight months ago he may well have condemned him to death. However, sleeping with his brother just didn’t seem to be the smart way to resolve the problem of his deal with the demon or keeping Sam alive and morally good.

“You do realize don’t you, that if you die before we have sex then I’m as good as dead anyway?” Sam asked.

Dean didn’t trust himself to speak.

“I will become the very thing you and Dad tried so hard to stop me being. If you’re writhing in hell then who will be strong enough to save me or kill me? Who would I listen to? Bobby? Been there done that, I don’t think so.”

Dean had no idea what Sam was ranting about; even when Sam was possessed by Meg, Bobby managed to overpower him/her.

Sam raved on oblivious to Dean’s confusion, “You sold your soul to save me but you only half did it Dean. Bringing me back to life was only part way to ensuring I don’t go dark side. I am on the edge here but you keep me good and without you the evil in me will take over and no-one will be able to stop me. I was going to be their demon leader, take over from Daddy Demon Azazel. In the hierarchy of demons I’m considered pretty powerful. Just imagine what I could do with all that power. Is that what you want to see happen? Do you really want to spend eternity knowing that you sold your soul to save me but it wasn’t enough? You see Dean, if I turn and I’m sure I will without you to stop me, then our brotherly bond will mean nothing and when I march into hell and claim my rightful place, you will be the first soul I seek out and I will spend forever punishing you for letting this happen to me.”

Dean had had enough. “Get off me,” he ordered his voice cold and distant.

Sam released him and Dean whirled around and stood up close in Sam’s face. “Don’t you dare threaten me or try to emotionally blackmail me,” he said through gritted teeth. “The only thing that will make me feel guilty is if I sleep with you. I may not be book smart, like my college educated little brother but even I know that incest is a big no-no. So don’t you dare get off telling me what you will do to me in the afterlife because quite frankly, if I end up there and I will at this rate, then there is nothing more you could do to me that wouldn’t have already been done by the time you join the party. Sammy I don’t expect I will have a pleasant time in hell and I imagine that I will have eternity to suffer through all that I fucked up, so you and your evil destiny can go screw someone else.”

Sam knew he had overplayed his hand somewhat. “I’m sorry,” he looked away embarrassed by what he had said. “I just wanted you to understand….look I’m begging here Dean, please just give us a try. Don’t condemn us both because you’re afraid of commitment or that you think your masculinity will be endangered or your morality compromised… and for what it’s worth I think that sex with you would be incredible but then I already love you, so how could it not be? So the ball’s in your court big brother.”

Dean closed his eyes, seemed to mull over what Sam had said and then simply turned and walked out the door without looking behind him.

*************************************************************

 

  
  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Four Months**  
 **Part 3**

It was dark but not too late by the time Dean returned to the motel. The lights were off so he didn’t notice Sam sitting in a chair waiting for him.

As Dean quietly shut the door Sam spoke, “So did you get laid?”

The tone was icy cold and a shiver ran down Dean’s spine. Memories of when Sam was possessed slammed into him and he didn’t like it one bit. He flicked on the light and faced his brother.

“No.” Dean stressed. Although he had really wanted to, when it had come down to it he just couldn’t do it. He didn’t even manage to kiss the girl because it just felt wrong. He wasn’t sure why, he just knew he couldn’t follow through with it so instead he come back to the motel.

Sam rose and stalked towards Dean and it took all of Dean’s strength to stay where he was.

“Good,” Sam replied as he pulled Dean towards him and with one hand holding the back of Dean’s head he pressed his demanding lips to his brother’s. Dean went rigid, tried to turn his head to escape the onslaught and found his chin held firm as his brother plundered his mouth. As quick as it began, the kiss, or maybe it should have been called the devouring, finished and he was released.

“I just wanted to show you that kissing me isn’t so bad.” Sam casually informed Dean.

Dean wiped the back of his hand across his mouth but said nothing.

“I also wanted to reassure you that I won’t force you to do anything you _really_ don’t want to do. All you have to say is back off and I will. Like now if you had said no I would have stopped but you also need to know that while I won’t force you I am not prepared to let you waste the time we have left either. So I might kiss you sometimes and I will hold your hand and hug you and I will sleep in the bed with you,” he watched as Dean’s eyes grew wide, “but I will not take anything from you or fight you for those things. You need to know that the bond can’t be forced; it grows through pure love, so rape and coercion are useless; besides I would never stoop so low as to do that to you. You have to want me before it will become a true soul bond and in case you hadn’t realized I want you and not just because I want to save you…I have wanted you for a while now.” He tenderly stroked Dean’s cheek and then went back to where he had been sitting.

Dean just stood there rooted to the spot. He didn’t know whether to punch Sam or to just cut and run. In the end Sam made the decision for him.

“So it’s not too late and I’m starved. You eaten yet?” Sam asked matter-of-factly. “Feel like a steak and beer; maybe a round of pool?”

It was such a normal thing for them to do that Dean found himself responding before his brain had actually thought it through.

“Sure. You paying?” he asked with a grin. It had always been a joke with them that because their lives revolved around false IDs and fake credit cards that they were being taken out by whoever was listed on the card.

“Nah Mr…” Sam rifled through his wallet and pulled out a credit card. “Who are we this week…oh right, dinner is on Mr Callahan tonight. So shall we go?”

“Yeah, wouldn’t want to disappoint Mr Callahan now would we.”

“Lead the way,” Sam said with a flourish and short bow, as he followed Dean to the door, opened it for his brother and ever so gently placed a hand on Dean’s back encouraging him out to the car.

************************************************

 

  
  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Two Months**

In the two months since that night they had developed a rhythm of life that worked well for them. At first Dean didn’t like Sam being in his personal space. The touches and occasional kisses made his stomach plummet and more than once he raced to the bathroom and threw up as the reality of it hit him hard. It didn’t bode well for a successful relationship but Sam persevered and after a while Dean didn’t seem to consciously think about it at all. A kiss on the check was accepted without turning the head away or even a comment; a hand around the shoulder while driving was not shrugged off and a squeeze of the hand or an arm was accepted for what it was, a tender reminder that Sam was there if he needed him.

It was the sleeping in the same bed that brought the most grief and argument.

“What’s this?” Sam asked the first time he climbed into bed with Dean.

“Your side, my side?” Dean explained as they stood on opposite sides and stared at the pillow barricade running the length of the bed.

“Dean get rid of the pillows or I will sleep on top of you,” Sam threatened.

Dean’s eyes grew wide and he removed the pillows. _Lesser of two evils,_ he reasoned.

“Fine happy now?” He huffed as he climbed into the bed and balanced on the far edge with his back to his brother.

“Ecstatic,” Sam muttered as he climbed in after his brother and turned off the lights.

Things became easier though. When Dean woke with nightmares and that was often, Sam was there in a heartbeat to calm him. At first he pushed Sam away but later it was as if his subconscious had already surrendered and he let Sam soothe him into a peaceful sleep.

In Dean’s mind it was mornings though that posed the biggest problem. It’s one thing to go to bed separated by space but another thing to wake up entwined around each other or worse being poked by body parts that had no right poking him anywhere.

The first time it happened, Dean broke out of Sam’s embrace, fled to the safety of the bathroom and had a long hot shower. By the end of the first week though he was still running to the bathroom but the showers were cold ones. In the end he stopped running and more often than not sleepily mumbled “Stop poking me,” before he drifted back into a contented sleep. He never seemed to realize he had changed; he just rolled with it.

Sharing a bed had other advantages and disadvantages. They often sat in comfortable silence, Sam with his laptop and Dean watching television; sometimes Sam brought him breakfast in bed and then they argued over who left crumbs on the sheets. The one thing Dean hated the most though was that Sam farted.

“That’s disgusting,” Dean yelled one morning as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “My eyes are watering.”

“Perfectly normal bodily function Dean and in case you hadn’t noticed I have been farting for years.”

“Yeah but that was in _your_ bed. Next time you want to fart in _our_ bed you’d better face away from me asshat or you will wake up with a butt plug.”

“Dude I didn’t know you were that kinky,” Sam teased.

When Dean realized what he had just said, especially following Sam’s reply, he blushed from the top of his head to the tip of his toes.

“I…I’m gonna take a shower,” he mumbled as he grabbed his bag and made a high speed dash into the bathroom.

“Can I come too,” yelled Sam gleefully.

“No you do it out there and keep it off the sheets,” came the muffled reply.

Sam just rolled around laughing because without even thinking about it Dean had moved from horrified about a relationship to accepting it in one foul move.

 _Who would have known that a fart was such a powerful weapon,_ Sam happily mused.

For Sam that was the most intriguing thing about his brother. Just when he thought he had Dean figured out, Dean adapted to whatever new change came along. Dean was more Borg than human and Sam had begun to wonder whether his ideas were being assimilated by Dean or whether Dean was actually making Sam adapt to him. Either way things were different but in a good way.

Yes life was pretty normal in that abnormal Winchester world. Dean never felt pressured and true to his word Sam never forced his brother and while Dean didn’t reciprocate Sam’s advances, he never told Sam to back off either. He never slept with anyone else and yet the lack of other sexual partners never bothered him and neither did the lack of sex.

Things were normal and yet so completely different but Dean just took it in his stride. What he had with Sam had subtly woven itself into the fabric of his life and he just went with it. He didn’t feel ashamed and yet the thought of his brother making a pass at him would have been right up there on the _things that make me cringe list_ before all this began. Besides if he was Sammy’s wet dream then who was he to deny his little brother a kinky fantasy or two? Hell Dean had a few of his own.

Of course if asked, Dean would say there was nothing more between them than brotherly love; but if he really thought it through he would have been amazed to realize that he was being courted and if he was honest with himself he would have to admit that he enjoyed it. However despite how comfortable he seemed with everything, the one conscious thought he frequently had was that he didn’t think he could take that next step. The one that would mean that he and Sam have became lovers as well as brothers.

Dean just took it all in his stride because he hadn’t actually thought that things had changed. If he had thought about it he would have realized that the bond was strengthening. He sensed where Sam was when he couldn’t see him and sometimes he felt a tingle when his brother touched him. However he never connected the feelings to the bond and since he didn’t think about it, because in some ways it had always been that way between them, he never considered its importance in his life. No the only thing that troubled his mind was whether he should save his soul by getting to know his brother better, in the biblical sense that is.

So right at this point in time Dean liked his life and the only problem he had was that time was ticking away all too quickly. He didn’t want to die, didn’t want Sam to turn evil and he still couldn’t bring himself to fuck his brother even if there was an outside chance of stopping everything from happening. So while Dean felt his life was okay, he knew some of it still sucked and worst of all he knew he had very little time left as his afterlife bore down on him at a rapid rate of knots.

*************************************************************

 

  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Two Months  
Part 4**

With the weeks to his demise drawing closer Dean pestered Sam to go the Morton House, one of the most haunted places in the country. Their Dad had hunted there and the place had defeated him and so as part of his _things to do before I die_ list, Dean had insisted they go and see if they could clean the house. Sam had been less enthusiastic because he wished Dean would stop thinking in terms of his death and start embracing his life. Still part of him liked to see Dean happy and when he agreed to go his brother leapt about like a child and excitedly hugged him.

“You won’t regret this Sammy. It’ll be fun,” Dean yelled as he skipped off to pack for the hunt. “We finally get a crack at it. Yes, yes, yes!!!”

Sam laughed at his brother’s joy but with so few weeks left he wished he could just pin Dean to the bed rather than hunt a leap year haunted house that couldn’t be cleaned by the best in the business.

Their arrival at the house unfortunately coincided with the arrival of a ludicrous group of reality show ghost hunters called the _Ghostfacers_ led by wanna be ghost hunters, Spengler and Zeddmore. The Winchesters had met these amateurs before and this meeting was no less interesting and far more dangerous than when they previously crossed paths.

Despite trying to get the _Ghostfacers_ out of the house before midnight in the end the group found themselves in a supernatural lockdown. Bad enough that they were trapped there but one of the _Ghostfacers_ team was also missing and Sam and Dean knew all too well how that would probably turn out considering the history of the house.

Dean stared at the locked door and considered the situation. He was stuck in a house that every four years took fresh victims and he had two months to live and may well end up going to hell tonight. He wasn’t sure what worried him the most, the fact that they were caught in a house even their Dad couldn’t clean or that Sam was gonna kill him because he had insisted they come here in the first place.

“Well, its 12.04 Dean,” Sam roared. “Ya good? Ya happy?”

Dean quietly replied, “Yeah, I’m happy.” This was so not how he thought this adventure would play out.

Sam was on a roll, all fired up and so very mad, “Let’s go hunt the Morton House, you said, it’s our Grand Canyon…”

“Sam, I don’t wanna hear it!” Dean snapped back. This just wasn’t the time or place to have a tantrum.

“You’ve got two months left Dean,” and to emphasize his words Sam smashed a chair against the supernaturally locked front door. “Instead, we’re gonna die tonight.”

Dean didn’t try to calm Sam; in fact he actually thought his brother was being a little melodramatic. Besides when Sam was like this, it was best to just let him get it out of his system. Of course that didn’t solve their problem as they were stuck in a house that had more missing people attributed to it than any other place he knew of.

Then, just when he thought things couldn’t get any worse, Sam disappeared right before his eyes. So many scenarios raced through Dean’s head as he tried to think logically about what might have happened to his brother. His heart was racing as he tried to quash the rising fear that something terrible had happened or would happen to Sam.

 _My fault; this is all my fault_ he kept saying over and over in his head. _I told him to come here. ‘It will be fun,’ I said. I totally screwed this one. I’m so sorry Sammy. Where are you man? I need you. I can’t face everything ahead without you…_

Of all the things he had considered when he entered the house losing Sam hadn’t been one of them. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. They intended to come in, do what they could and if they couldn’t clean the place they had agreed to bug out before midnight except now they were locked in and Sam was nowhere to be seen.

Despite the dire situation the _Ghostfacers_ cameraman continued to film everything including Dean’s frantic search for his brother. Every move he made and every word he spoke was recorded. Dean however, had no time for a ‘B’ grade reality show and while the _Ghostfacers_ may have seen this as the scoop of a life time they had no idea what they were dealing with and unfortunately Dean knew exactly how this would all play out if they didn’t get out of this house. What the morons failed to understand was that filming everything that was going on here was superfluous if they didn’t live to show the footage.

He pushed passed Spruce the persistent cameraman, “Sam? SAM!? Sammy?” Dean called as he ran from room to room in search of his brother.

“Hey can I ask you something?” Spruce asked as he followed close behind Dean.

“What?”

“Earlier you and Sam, he said you had two months left.”

 _Great now I have to explain my fucked up life and impending death to this guy._ “It’s complicated,” he told the man as he continued his search.

He had two months left damn it and he expected to live every single day of that time with his brother. What’s more he wasn’t about to lose Sam here not after Dean had paid such a high price to bring him back all those months ago. The thing that really hit him though was that they hadn’t sealed the bond. All Sam’s tirades about why sex was so important now confronted him. He felt weighed down with guilt that he hadn’t slept with Sam thereby ensuring that the bond was well and truly in force. So despite all of his misgivings about doing the nasty with his brother, if the choice came down to a quick fuck versus losing Sam in some broken down haunted house then the sex would win hands down.

Spruce interrupted his thoughts by asking, “Is it cancer?”

 _Jeez cancer now there’s a death sentence,_ Dean thought. “Shut up,” Dean ordered not so much because he didn’t want to answer the question but because his head was too full of thoughts and feelings and…it was so faint but it was there. His skin prickled. It was like Sam was touching him only Sam wasn’t there. He stopped and closed his eyes and then he felt it again except this time he was hit by a wave of fear and he realized he could feel what Sam was feeling and it scared him big time.

Then Dean heard the faint sounds of music. “You here that?” he asked the cameraman.

He dragged aside a cupboard that hid the entrance to a long forgotten bomb shelter and when he saw the hidden door Dean knew that Sam was on the other side. He forced open the door and pushed his way into the shelter and there he discovered his, a little worse for wear, brother and one very sadistic ghost.

By morning it was all over. They had defeated the Morton House ghost but in doing so had lost one of the _Ghostfacers_ team. It was not the outcome they had hoped for but at least the Morton House was no longer a threat.

As the sun rose the survivors wearily trudged to their respective vehicles. Dean was exhausted but relieved. It had been a close call and the fear of losing Sam weighed heavily upon him. He thought about it and realized that common sense had told him to search the basement but intuition had led him to Sam. Maybe Sam had been right all along; maybe the bond did work and all it took was a little faith. Heck Sam had told him often enough that all he had to do was believe in it and the bond would take over and as much as he hated to admit it, Sam seemed to have been right. The thing was what did he intend to do about it now that he knew it would work.

*******************************************************

Back at the motel Sam sat at the table while Dean treated his injuries. They hadn’t spoken much since they left the house partly because they were both exhausted but mostly because the events of the previous night had highlighted the fact that either of them could have died then and their bond wasn’t even half way to being complete due to Dean’s procrastinating over the moral implications.

The evening had, in some ways, foreshadowed what might happen if they haven’t sleep together by the time the hell hounds show up. The bond would be in place but it wouldn’t be strong enough to save Dean. The worst of it though was that because they had a bond they would sense each other which also meant feeling what the other person feels. So if the hell hounds kill Dean then Sam would most likely feel some of what Dean feels as he is ripped apart. Depending on how strong their bond is Sam could merely feel Dean’s fear or he might feel Dean’s pain; either way it wouldn’t be a pleasant experience for either of them.

 _This just keeps getting worse by the minute._ He sighed as he gently cleaned Sam’s wounds, his thoughts totally wrapped up in what he should do.

“I’m sorry.”

Sam had almost whispered the words and Dean had to strain to hear him. “Sorry for what?” Dean asked as he continued with what he was doing.

“For pressuring you.”

“Huh?” Dean sat back and stared at Sam. “Did that ghost knock you out or something ‘cause I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Sam threw his hands in the air in despair and spoke slowly punctuating his words. “The…sex…Dean! I’m sorry I tried to force you to have sex with me. I know you never wanted it. You’re my brother; I had no right to even ask you.”

“Last time I checked we haven’t had sex yet Sammy. So you haven’t forced me, you said you wouldn’t and you didn’t. I don’t get it man what’s your problem?”

Sam stood up abruptly, “You’re my problem Dean. I want you…you know…that way and I want to save you and having you will save you but it’s wrong and you were right and I’m gonna go take a shower,” he said, utter defeat coloring his voice.

Sam grabbed his bag from the bed and fled to the bathroom for a shower leaving Dean still sitting at the table, confused and not a little surprised. He packed up the first aid kit while he tried to work out what had just happened.

He had told Sam point blank that he wouldn’t sleep, in the part A goes into part B sense, with him and he hadn’t. They had done nothing that was wrong, if you exclude the odd kiss here and there but brothers can kiss…though once or twice or more there was tongue but hey it was brother tongue…same germs and shit so keep it in the family right? No, Dean just didn’t understand what had gotten into Sam.

He waited for Sam to finish his shower to find out what was going on in his brother’s head. So he waited and waited and… finally fell asleep on the bed. They had left the Morton House at daybreak and after such a grueling night they were both dead on their feet, so sleeping to late in the afternoon was to be expected. It’s just that Dean didn’t sleep well and when he woke he understood why. Sam was fast asleep on the other bed. Over the past two months the brothers had slept together in the same bed. That had become their norm and yet here was Sam, every last inch of him out for the count on the _spare_ bed. Dean rationalized that maybe Sam didn’t want to disturb him or that maybe Dean had taken up too much of their bed for Sam to actually get in but he was left with a nagging doubt, in the light of their conversation earlier that morning, that Sam didn’t want him anymore. The funny thing is he never stopped to think why that would bother him since he was the one that had insisted that intimacy should not be part of their relationship.

His suspicions/concerns were further heightened when they went out for dinner a few hours later. Sam was distant. Gone were the gentle touches or the arm around the shoulder while he drove. Heck even the friendly banter was replaced with yes/no responses. By half way through the meal Dean had had enough. He slammed his drink on the table in utter frustration.

“What’s wrong with you,” he hissed at his sullen brother.

“What’s wrong with me?” Sam looked up from pushing his fries into a pile. “You’re a fine one to ask?”

Dean was confused. “What the hell did I do?” He asked in disbelief.

Sam rolled his eyes. “You’ve got two months Dean. I’ve tried everything and I don’t know what else to do.”

“Sam I don’t want to talk about it okay,” and he didn’t, not today. He just wanted to spend time with his brother and enjoy their victory over the Morton House but no, Sam had to go and bring the mood down.

“We have to Dean. In two months you’re dead and what about me?”

“What about you?” He stared dumbstruck at Sam. “What about you! I’m the one who’s dying. Ya think I’m looking forward to that day Sam huh? Ya think I want to die?”

“I know you don’t want to die Dean and I also know you don’t want to…” he waved his hand in the air, “…you know do it. I accept it, I understand it, really I do but I still feel helpless and useless. I’ve let you down man.”

“Have you been drinking? Because you’re talking crap!”

“Why do you do that? We never talk about it…”

“Yeah we do Sam. Every time you open your mouth we talk about it. Well guess what I don’t want to anymore. You just have to accept it okay. I did it for you bonehead. I did it so you could have a normal life. What chance would I ever have of that huh? None! No you had the most potential, why can’t you just take it and move on.”

“Oh for the love of god, you should hear yourself. This isn’t some noble death here Dean. This isn’t some warrior’s death in battle. There is nothing brave or heroic in what you have done. You sold your soul because you were afraid to make a go of life without me. So you took the easy way out.”

“You think burning in hell is the soft option Sam?” He hissed. “My body probably won’t even be cold before you’ll ditch hunting and go back to college. Yeah I can just see you telling the grandchildren about how poor Uncle Dean died way back in ’08. So when you have that long, normal ‘white picket fence’ life Sammy you think of me.”

“I never wanted a normal life Dean. I only wanted a safe life. I still do,” Sam shouted at Dean.

“Yeah well safe doesn’t come easy in our line of work Sammy.”

“Then maybe we need to change jobs.” Sam was so angry. This wasn’t the time or place to have this argument or any argument for that matter. He was tired and frustrated and he merely wanted to share his fears for the future. Instead he had hurt Dean and that was the last thing he ever wanted to do.

For Dean though it didn’t matter what Sam had intended to do, the damage was done. He had gone from thinking Sam was rejecting him to almost hating his brother for his indifference to his approaching death. Problem was, Dean thought, was that Sam had never really cared about him. He was still that selfish, self centered brat he had always been. Just once Dean wished that he was the center of someone’s world rather than ensuring everyone else had the perfect world.

Well enough was enough; Dean couldn’t take any more of it. He threw his hands into the air in resignation. “I rest my case. I will be dead in eight weeks. Maybe you should start job hunting now. Save yourself a bit of time rather than have to wait for me to be out of the picture. Here take these,” he slammed the car keys on the table. “You’ll need the car,” he seethed before walking out the door into the night.

Sam sat where he was. He was stunned that things had gotten so out of hand, so quickly and he really had no idea how to fix it all, especially since he had no idea where Dean was going.

The waitress came over to him with a coffee pot in hand. “I get you anything else sugar?” She asked.

“Coffee will be fine thanks.”

“Look it’s none of my business,” she commented as she poured the coffee. “But I couldn’t help but overhear you two arguing. For what it’s worth, don’t let him go like that; you don’t want things to be tough between you especially if he only has a short time to live.”

Sam stared open mouthed at the woman.

“You two weren’t quiet hon,” she informed Sam. “In case you hadn’t realized the entire diner was listening to you boys arguing. If I were you I’d be buying that boy candy, flowers and a good bottle of _get us through the hard times._ Don’t waste what little time he has left. Of course you can secretly pray for a miracle but when you’re with him, really be there for him because when he’s gone things will be bad enough without you living with all the regrets you will have about not making his last days perfect.”

“Ah thanks,” Sam replied embarrassed that he had unintentionally laid his personal problems out for all to see.

Sam downed the coffee and made a hasty retreat to the car. There in the dark he contemplated the situation before coming to a decision.

***********************************

When Sam returned to the motel Dean was nowhere to be seen. So he waited; not much else he could do really.

Around 3 am Dean quietly entered the darkened room and just like two months earlier was startled by a voice from the dark, except his time the tone was caring not icy.

“Dean where have you been?” Sam asked breathlessly as if he was surprised Dean had returned at all.

“Jeez Sammy,” Dean took a deep breath to calm himself and turned on the light. “I didn’t get laid if that’s what you’re asking,” he replied defensively.

“No? Oh! I was worried; thought you might be hurt…uhm here,” and Sam thrust a large bunch of flowers into Dean’s hands followed by a box of soft centered candies.

“Ah thanks, I think….wow!” Dean didn’t know what to say. In the end he simply asked, “Sammy are you trying to get into my pants?”

Sam laughed. It was an honest ‘break the ice’ chuckle and it felt good, “Always,” he replied with a wink. “Is it working?”

Dean grinned, “Maybe. Might need a little leg opener though.”

“Have that covered,” Sam showed him a bottle of Jack Daniels.

“Nice.”

“Anything is better than that stuff you downed a few months back,” Sam stated as he placed the bottle and two glasses on the table.

“So what’s this all about,” Dean cautiously asked.

Sam took a deep breath and began to explain, “I wanted to say sorry for being such an ass. I also wanted to share some things with you, things I haven’t told you and…”

Dean was worried now, “What things Sam?”

“Mystery Spot stuff.” When Dean went to speak, Sam held up a hand to stop him. “Just hear me out, okay? Then if you want to beat me around the head you can but just let me tell you.”

“Okay,” Dean promised as he sat down at the table to listen to Sam. “Better pour us a drink Samantha, sounds like we might need it.”

Sam poured two glasses and handed one to Dean. “Bottoms up!” Dean said saluting Sam with his glass.

“Maybe later,” his brother replied.

Booze spurted in all directions as Dean reacted to what Sam had said. “Hey warn a guy next time,” he muttered as he wiped his face and clothes.

“Sorry…” Sam muttered

“No you’re not.”

Sam grinned wickedly. “Maybe not.

“Okay back to business and keep your mind on the job and out of my pants,” Dean warned his mischievous looking little brother.

“Okay,” Sam said, resigned to the fact that the time had come to reveal what bothered him so much. “I freaked out earlier because I realized that I could have died at the Morton House and we haven’t sealed the bond. So I would have left you to a horrible fate. Then I got thinking about what would have happened if you had died first. I realized that not only would you go to hell but I would be left behind and I’ve been there before. I know what’s it like to lose you and I can’t face that again.”

“Come on Sam I know you had a lot of Tuesdays at the Mystery Spot and I know it made you loopy but look at me, I’m alright. That experience wasn’t real.”

“It felt real Dean and seeing you dead never got old man. The pain, the despair it was real to me…”

“..and then you fixed it. You got the Trickster to stop jerking us around.”

“Yeah I fixed it.” Sam downed his glass, stared at the table and began to talk. “You remember when we were leaving Brower County after seeing the Trickster and you said that I didn’t look too good and did something else happen?”

Dean nodded. He remembered teasing Sam because his brother had said he had had a weird dream. So Dean had asked whether it was about clowns or midgets.

“I told you I had a dream only it wasn’t a dream. It was real or a reality created by the Trickster. I’ve never been able to work it out. I didn’t just have a hundred Tuesdays Dean; I had one Wednesday as well.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The day after we saw the Trickster and he said he would back off, well you went downstairs to pack the car. You hadn’t been gone more than a couple of minutes when I heard a shot and by the time I got to you; you were bleeding out from a chest wound. I kept saying _not today, not today, this isn’t supposed to happen today_ because you only died on Tuesdays. I was supposed to wake up and you would be alright except you never woke and…”

“…and what Sammy?”

“I cremated you.”

Dean took a large swig of his drink. Clearly there were bucket loads more to this story and his demise was just the beginning, “What happened after that?”

Sam cleared his throat, “Well I suffered through six months of it after you died.”

Dean desperately tried to comprehend what Sam was saying. The idea that he had died and that Sam battled on alone for half a year was beyond anything he had ever imagined.

“You’ve got no idea what it’s like Dean. I can’t go back to that way of life. I won’t. I just can’t do it on my own; the endless days of hunting, lonely motel rooms, eating alone, and no-one to talk to or laugh with. It was miserable Dean and each day I felt less and less human until in the end I didn’t care about anyone, least of all myself.” He paused, poured himself another drink and downed the lot in one hit before continuing. “One time I stood in front of a mirror and took out a bullet that had lodged in my chest and then I sowed myself up. I remember how bad the pain was and I so was grateful for it. It was the first thing I had felt in months. Imagine it Dean, you actually crave the pain because everything else had left you numb inside and out.”

What could he say? Dean remembered how he had felt when their Dad had died. How empty he was inside but he still had Sam, after the Mystery Spot Sam had no-one. Heck it was because Dean had no-one when Sam died that had he sold his soul in the first place; so he totally understood what Sam was saying.

“Bobby used to go crazy,” Sam told him with a chill laugh. “He was desperate because I wouldn’t call him or listen to him. He could see what I was becoming and he couldn’t stop it. You know I finally met Bobby back at the Mystery Spot. He told me that he had found a way to summon the Trickster but part of the ritual required a gallon of fresh human blood. Of course that meant bleeding some innocent person dry. The thing is I was prepared to commit murder to have a shot at bringing you back. You see you were the only good thing in my life Dean and without you I was this cold callous shell. I needed you, I still do.”

Dean didn’t know what to say. “Sam…”

“No you don’t understand you don’t know how far I was prepared to go to get you back.”

“I understand desperation Sam. I sold my soul to bring you back…”

“Would you have murdered someone for me? Would you have hunted down some nameless person in the street and cut their throat and drained their blood?”

Dean couldn’t answer him because when it came to his family he was prepared to do anything but even he wondered if he could take a life to save a life for any reason even this.

“No you wouldn’t have,” Sam cut into Dean’s thoughts. “Because while you’d do anything for me, you always make sure that the only one who paid the price was you. I’m not like that. I am not innately good like you are. I would have done anything for you…ANYTHING and I did. I killed Bobby.”

“Bobby’s not dead Sam.”

“That’s not the point Dean. I didn’t know whether it was Bobby or the Trickster that day. I figured it was the Trickster but I wasn’t sure. So when Bobby offered his blood instead of a civilian, as he put it, I didn’t hesitate, I readily agreed. So I killed Bobby using a sharpened stake just in case it was the Trickster. I remember standing there waiting, looking down on Bobby’s body hoping the Trickster would appear but Bobby just lay there and you know what I couldn’t help but panic because his blood was flowing onto the floor and I didn’t have anything to put it in. You see having just murdered Bobby, someone who had been part of my life for as long as I could remember, the only thought running through my head was I need the blood because that blood would summon the Trickster who would then return you to me.”

“It was the Trickster though right? Because you know Bobby’s alive and kicking? That’s what the Trickster does Sam, he screws with your head.”

“Yeah it was and yes he did but the thing is Dean he was right.”

“Right about what Sam?”

“He said you were in hell and that he wouldn’t bring you back. I begged him Dean, swore we wouldn’t go after him and we won’t ever but he said that he had been trying to teach me a lesson; that I was obsessed with you and that neither of us could go on sacrificing ourselves for each other. He said only pain and blood came from our efforts.” Sam shook his head as he recalled the conversation with the Trickster. “He said you were my weakness and the bad guys knew it and that you would be the death of me. He also said that like it or not the life I had lived for those six months was what life would be like without you and that sometimes you just have to let people go. But you’re my brother how can I just stand back and let you go without a fight?” Sam wiped away the tear that ran down his cheek. “Dean I can’t do it again. I can’t just sit here twiddling my thumbs for two months until you die. I know what that feels like and I hated every last second of it. Every day without you was a nightmare and every day I was one step closer to becoming the very thing we had fought so hard to stop me becoming. I didn’t value life, least of all mine. I didn’t care Dean and if it had gone on much longer I would have turned into unadulterated evil because I hated the world. You kept me good. Without you I was nothing because no-one stood between me and the shadows. So yes, he was right, you’re my weakness but Dean you are also my strength.”

Dean was utterly stunned as the impact of Sam’s words hit him.

“I’m so sorry,” Sam half sobbed. “I didn’t mean to fight with you and I certainly never meant you to feel trapped by a bond you don’t want or approve of. I guess my lesser of two evils was just my inner demon trying to corrupt someone else. Thing is, I thought I could make you happy; instead you’re ready to kill me.”

“Sam, come on hey Sam, listen, would I honestly be sitting here sharing a drink with you if I wanted to kill you? As for the bond well I agreed to get the tattoo. I’m sorry I reneged man but…well we’ve been through all that. Just know that I have had the best few months okay and if this is as good as it gets, then it was enough. It was frigging awesome okay? Come on man don’t do this to yourself or me.”

“I think we should go see the Grand Canyon,” Sam suddenly announced.

Dean pursed his lips in shock. Of all the things he expected his brother to say this wasn’t one of them. “You wanna go on a road trip?”

“NO!” Sam shouted. “Yes. Look since I can’t save you, then I want to give you what you want. I want you to be happy, fulfilled by the time you…”

“Die?”

Sam looked sheepish, “Yeah.”

“So you think I want to go to the Grand Canyon?”

“Well yes. You said you had never been there.”

The change in direction of the conversation made Dean’s head spin. “I also said I wanted to bang Lindsay Lohan but that ain’t gonna happen either.” Of all the dumb things…with two months left the last thing he wanted was to go traipsing across the country to Arizona to look into a huge hole and say _wow it’s deep_. “Look Sam I’ve got two months left let’s not waste them in the car.”

“Okay,” Sam hung his head. He was tired, so incredibly tired. “So…”

 _Time to end this conversation,_ Dean thought. “So you need to rest and I need a shower.”

Sam nodded and headed over to the spare bed but Dean yelled over his shoulder as he entered the bathroom, “Our bed Sasquatch,” before he closed the bathroom door. By the time he came out Sam was sound asleep, so Dean took the opportunity to do some serious thinking about where they go from here.

*************************************************************

 

  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Two Months  
Part 5**

All Dean’s concerns and questions about whether the bond could save him or whether Sam was a threat to the demons, paled into insignificance compared to the fact that now he knew for sure that his brother had a real chance of turning evil especially since he carried demon blood. After Dean had died in Brower County, what they called the Mystery spot incident, Sam had begun the slow slide to the dark side but at least his brother had clung to the hope that the Trickster would bring Dean back. When the hell hounds come in a few weeks it would be final and there was no way Sam could save him if they didn’t strengthen their bond, no hope of return and the only chance of seeing each other again would be when Sam finally turned evil and marched into hell. Somehow Dean didn’t think that would be a happy reunion for them both. In fact he was sure that Sam would, as he stated a few months ago, take out his anger and hurt on Dean forever. They would be locked in an eternal battle of hate and despair. What a frightful end to a relationship that had been borne out of love and devotion.

Dean was struck by the irony of the situation, he had sold his soul to save Sam and yet that deal had set in motion things that would leave Sam to a lonely and loveless fate and had the potential to bring pain and misery to the world. That was so not what he had wanted for his brother when he sealed the deal ten months earlier. However that aside, he also knew that if he had a chance to rethink his decision at the crossroads he would probably still have sold his soul because on a personal level, he just couldn’t live without Sam. However, unlike what he had done for the better part of a year, he would have made darn sure that he spent every last second trying to find a way to break the deal without killing Sam in the process. That had always been the stumbling block; if he broke the deal, Sam would die instantly and he just couldn’t let that happen. Sam on the other hand had turned himself inside out to save Dean. No wonder his brother’s frustration at the situation boiled over at times.

He remembered a while back how he had found a tipsy Sam nursing a whiskey in some cheap assed bar and when Dean asked him what he was doing, Sam responded by asking Dean why he cared so little about himself. It must have seemed that way to Sam but the reality wasn’t that he doesn’t care about himself; it’s just that he cares more about Sam.

Dean had loved Sam from the day his brother was born and when their Mom had died, even though he was only four years old, he had made a promise to himself to always protect Sam. Heck he even used to climb into Sam’s cot just so his baby brother would feel safe while he slept. Now all these years later with death around the corner, Dean still wanted Sam to feel safe and part of that meant that they shared a bed and it felt just as right as it had twenty something years ago.

Now, in light of what Sam had told him last night it would seem that their concern for each other was the root of their problem. They each valued the other more than themselves and according to the Trickster that would only bring heartache and pain. However if Sam was right and they were actually connected by a bond then strengthening it would stop the endless need to sacrifice themselves for each other; therefore joining together and sealing the bond would bring happiness not sorrow.

There was no question that something existed between them and Sam was right it had always been there and there was no denying that since they began sporting the tattoos whatever that connection was it had begun to take on a life of its own.

Since Dean finally knew what had happened to Sam at the Mystery Spot, he really understood why Sam had been so pushy about getting the tattoos and sleeping together. Now Dean had the opportunity to change not only his own fate but Sam’s as well but it was how he had to do it that troubled him. He was all for saving both their souls but sleeping with his brother was a problem he just didn’t know how to get over. Logically he knew he should sleep with Sam to ensure their survival but taking the moral high ground, which yes was unusual for him, he just wasn’t that sure he could do it. What he couldn’t get his head around was the fact that incest was supposed to be one of the things that sent you _to_ hell and yet if he did sleep with Sam and they sealed the bond then that became his ticket _out of_ hell.

 _Lesser of two evils_ he thought. Sam had been telling him that for a while now.

So what were his options? He could just go to hell as scheduled but if he did do that then Sam would probably end up there as well and that wouldn’t be good for either of them. So since Dean didn’t want to die then giving up and waiting for the hell hounds seemed a stupid idea and he certainly didn’t want his brother becoming evil, because he had seen Sam possessed once before and it hadn’t been pretty. Another option was to let the bond simmer, which is what it seemed to be doing at the moment, in the hope that when push came to shove it would be strong enough to save him. The bond had helped him find Sam in the Morton House but would it be strong enough to keep him out of hell? It would be a bit late to say ‘sorry Sam we should have had that fuck after all’ as the hell hounds dragged him away. His only other option was to just bite the bullet and sleep with his brother but there were so many things wrong and right with that decision, he really didn’t know where to begin.

****************************************

Sam woke the next morning to find Dean lying on the bed next to him, his head resting on his hand and a smile on his lips.

“Hi,” Sam said, surprised to see Dean awake.

“Hi yourself,” Dean replied.

“Whatcha ya doing?”

Dean shrugged, “Watching you sleep.”

Sam gave a cheeky grin. “I can’t decide if that’s kinky or creepy.”

“That’s my boy always thinking with his little head.” Dean chuckled.

“Actually that would be your department,” Sam teased.

“Yeah well, not for a while now,” Dean admitted. “Hey Sam you know I like women right?”

Sam’s heart sank. He just couldn’t face more of these discussions. “Yeah I know,” he replied despairingly.

“I like their curves and they are soft and I love how wet they get when they want you and…well you know what I mean.”

“I like women too Dean,” Sam reminded him and he did, lots but he was prepared to forfeit all of that for Dean, he just wished Dean would do the same for him.

Dean nodded which is why he needed to talk to Sam about this. He was struggling with how to breach the gap between curvy ladies to lanky brothers. “So I have a few problems Sam. One, I’m usually taller than the women I screw, two, I have never even thought about guys and three, I have no fucking idea how to actually do it.”

Sam stared open mouthed at his brother. They may have hashed the sex/no sex argument a thousand times but Dean had never talked like this before so Sam wasn’t sure where this conversation was heading.

“Uhm I did some research, you know stuff about what you need and how to,” Sam did a scissoring motion with his fingers. “I bookmarked the sites,” he stated as he rolled over to retrieve his laptop off the bedside table.

“Sam, Sam!” Dean called as he held onto the man’s arm pulling him back down to the bed. “I think we can manage man. Let nature take its course if you know what I mean.”

Sam tried not to get his hopes, or other parts of his body, up. “Okay,” he tentatively replied.

“The biggest problem is that since I’m not into guys I don’t even know if I could get it up,” Dean casually explained. “It’s not like I have these secret locker room fantasies…okay I do but they involve cheerleaders not quarterbacks.”

“Well you don’t have to want other guys you just have to want me…”

“…but you’re a guy and guys don’t turn me on. Look I know what to do to make a woman go weak at the knees but so help me god, I haven’t the first clue as to what to do to make you…” he blushed as he realized just what he was saying. “Ah jeez Sam I don’t think I’ve ever seen you…”

“…naked?” Sam asked because he knew that wasn’t the case. Hell you can’t live in each others pockets without seeing a bit of skin now and then.

“Hard,” Dean admitted.

“Oh.”

Changing the subject Dean asked, “So you did some research?”

“Yeah like where to…how to…you know …stuff”

“If you can’t say it how ya gonna do it?” And it was a valid question, Dean needed to be sure that Sam could guide him through this and if Sam wasn't comfortable then they had no hope of succeeding.

“I think it might be better to let nature take its course, at least that’s what someone told me recently.” Sam stated as he suddenly placed his hand on Dean’s crotch and squeezed cautiously.

“Jeez Sam warn a guy next time,” Dean gasped.

Dean had to admit it felt good to have someone else take him in hand but never in his wildest dreams would he ever had thought that that someone would be his brother. He waited for the wrath of the gods to descend upon him but it never came. Instead his body shuddered with need and he couldn’t deny that right now he wanted this whether it was right or wrong or morally ambiguous considering their soul bond and deal with devil. So he turned into Sam’s embrace silently encouraging more of whatever Sam was prepared to offer.

“You’re right, you’re not hard yet but I bet I can get you that way,” Sam purred as he slid an arm around Dean holding him close while he pulled off Dean’s sweat pants and firmly took hold of Dean’s semi-hard cock.

Dean bucked. “Fuck,” he squeaked as Sam started to pump his cock slowly.

“I’d like to but not yet,” Sam murmured as he inhaled Dean’s scent. “You feel incredible,” he told him and Dean’s cock seemed to swell with the praise.

Sam didn’t want to overload Dean with new sensations, so he kept the pace slow and steady. Long, languid strokes designed to get Dean used to the feel of his hand; to get him off, not scare him off.

This was new territory to both of them. While they had been kissing for sometime now this sort of intimate contact was very different. Sam didn’t know what Dean liked nor had Dean ever thought about what Sam enjoyed. This first time was all about seeing if they could actually do something sexual without one or the other bailing out before the job was done.

“Harder,” Dean grunted as he thrust up into Sam’s hand. He didn’t care anymore who was doing this to him. He wanted this. “Yes, yes,” Dean yelled as an erotic haze of lust swirled around him.

“You like?” Sam asked as he nuzzled Dean’s neck.

“What do you think?” Dean panted as he laid his head on Sam’s shoulder and clenched his eyes closed. He needed this but he didn’t want to be reminded who was doing it by looking down and seeing Sam’s hand.

Suddenly Sam let go of him.

“No…” Dean cried in shock and desperation as he tried to grab Sam’s hand. He may have been unnerved that his brother was doing this to him but now that they had begun the last thing Dean wanted to do was to stop.

“…shhh I’m not going anywhere. Relax let me finish you off,” Sam whispered.

Dean nodded and watched in amazement as Sam licked his palm, making it moist before placing it back on Dean’s cock to pump his flesh.

This time Sam was more confident and he stepped up the pace. He teased the cock head as his thumb grazed over the slit spreading around the pre-cum that had pooled there and he fisted Dean’s cock hard and fast.

Dean obviously approved of Sam’s methods, “So close,” he chanted as he thrust up into Sam’s warm and willing palm.

It didn’t take much longer before Dean threw his head back and arched up into Sam’s fist. “Sam,” he screamed as he came all over Sam’s hand before falling back to lie in a state of sexual haze.

“Love you…” Sam uttered as he eased Dean through the aftershocks.

When Dean finally stilled Sam removed his hand. He timidly licked the cooling cum and decided it wasn’t too bad; good enough to share anyway. “Dean open you eyes,” he whispered and when Dean did, Sam held out his hand, “Try it. This is what you taste like man.”

Dean was mesmerized by Sam’s confidence and while a little taken aback by Sam’s suggestion, he was willing to try it if Sam wanted him to. He supposed it was an acquired taste but what he did like was watching Sam get off on eating his cum. Now that was hot in a kinky sort of way.

Sam licked his hand clean and then brought Dean into his embrace. “Thank you,” he whispered as he laid his forehead to Dean’s “Thank you.”

Dean wasn’t sure what Sam was thanking him for and really he was too boneless to even care. He wanted to sleep. To luxuriate in the moment but then he remembered that a good sexual partner should repay the favor and Dean prided himself in being an exceptional sexual partner.

“What about you?” Dean asked half hoping Sam would decline his offer because Dean really wasn’t sure he could actually bring himself to touch Sam.

“Anything.” Sam huffed as he tried to reign in his own need. “I don’t care what just…it’s been so long since…” he trailed off as the need to be touched overwhelmed him.

Dean had never laid a hand on another guy before, well not in that way. In fact the thought never crossed his mind but now he was left pondering how he had gone from straight guy to the guy who jerks off his brother in one easy lesson. Still he reasoned it would be wrong not to give Sam some of what he himself had just experienced.

“Get rid of these,” Dean ordered, indicating Sam’s sleep pants. “I want to see you,” he informed his brother. He was amazed that his mouth had started making decisions his mind was still toying with but yes he really did want to watch what they were about to do.

Dean tentatively reached out to grasp Sam’s rock hard cock and was shocked when Sam placed his own hand over Dean’s and began to guide him in what he liked. To say Dean was surprised by this was understatement but to say he wasn’t turned on by it would have been a lie.

“God Sam,” Dean groaned as he watched their joined hands jerk off Sam’s cock.

For Sam the sensation was incredible and like Dean, it had been a while since anyone other than his own hand had done this to him. In an embarrassingly short while Sam was thrusting frantically in time with their strokes and with a final shout of relief he came over their co-joined hands.

Sam didn’t dare look at Dean and in fact he was waiting for his brother to leap off the bed and hide in the bathroom but Dean surprised him by licking cum off his hand and then offering it Sam.

“You taste different,” Dean commented matter-of-factly.

Sam took hold of Dean’s wrist and began to lick the come off one finger at a time. Dean groaned and in the end removed his hand.

“You have to learn to share dude,” Dean told Sam as his licked the last of the remaining cum away. Somehow tasting Sam’s seemed so much better than his own.

Sam laughed. This had gone better than he could have hoped. He lifted Dean’s chin so that they were eye to eye, “So we okay?” he asked cautiously.

Dean was staggered by his own reaction to it all. It wasn’t nearly as awful as he had imagined. “Yeah,” he said, “It felt good. Really good,” he half whispered. “Wouldn’t mind doing it again but…”

“...but you don’t know if you could take it up the ass?”

Dean blushed. “Sam…please…” he pleaded. He needed time to think about everything.

“I don’t want to push you,” but every fiber in Sam’s body was telling him to roll on top of Dean and just go for it but that would only unravel the bond not strengthen it.

“Just let me get used to it okay? I just need a little time and yes I know we don’t have a lot of it left but please…” He figured it was better to show Sam he was serious about this, even if the words failed him so he pressed his naked body up against Sam’s and kissed him passionately.

Sam moaned and returned the kiss eagerly. This was the first kiss Dean had ever initiated and to Sam it was the best kiss he had ever had..

They continued making out for long time. While their tongues dueled for supremacy, their hands explored toned skin and hard muscle. Eventually the need for air drove them apart, albeit briefly.

“You’re hard again,” Sam noted in one of the times they stopped kissing long enough to take a breath.

“So are you.”

Sam grinned, “We can…”

“…we could,” Dean agreed.

“Let’s try something different,” Sam suggested.

“Sam I’m just getting used to…oh…” Dean threw his head back and let out a long moan.

Sam had enclosed their cocks in his fist and was pumping them both for all he was worth.

“Good?” Sam asked as he jerked them both off.

“You even need to ask.” Dean placed his hand around Sam’s. “I always knew your gigantic hands would be useful one day but never thought of this…”

“Shut up Dean and enjoy the ride,” Sam laughed.

“It’s a rollercoaster man and I’m about to go over the top,” Dean warned him.

“We come together,” Sam grunted as they lurched towards another toe curling, shout at the top of your lungs orgasm.

This time they both lay back completely spent and totally happy.

“Do you feel it?” Sam asked Dean referring to their bond.

“Yeah,” Dean replied smiling at Sam. “It’s like a heartbeat. I can feel it pulsing.”

Now Dean understood what Sam had always known, that sex made the bond come to life. Every cell in his body was vibrating and while he felt absolutely exhausted he also felt utterly alive. He could feel what Sam was feeling and he guessed Sam was picking up his feelings too. All the pleasure, passion and love flowed from Sam to him and from him to Sam and in the end he didn’t know which feelings were his and which were Sam’s.

They smiled shyly at each other and for the first time in a long while they both believed there was hope. It didn’t mean Dean would jump Sam’s bones the first chance he had, nor did it mean that Dean was comfortable with the idea of fucking his brother but it did mean that at least they were both on the same page for once and it was a start.

Sam touched Dean’s tattoo. “Mine,” he whispered but what he hadn’t expected was Dean imitating his movements and placing his hand on Sam’s tattoo. “Yours,” he told Sam before he drifted to sleep his head against his brother’s heart.

So Sam too fell into a peaceful sleep as he dreamed of a happy and safe future while Dean dreamed of fire and brimstone. Dean’s decision to have a sexual relationship with Sam was not done lightly and while he knew there was hope of escaping hell he didn’t let himself believe for a minute that this was his ticket out of the pit. It was a chance but as the saying goes never put all your eggs in one basket.

He could feel the bond; he knew it existed but he wasn’t one hundred percent convinced that it would save him. He knew he should do everything he could to save his soul and if that meant committing incest once or twice then he figured he had done worse in his day. However, blind faith was so different to silent hope. Wanting to be saved and being saved were worlds apart. So while Sam may have thought that Dean had finally surrendered and accepted the bond, Dean was actually doing what he had always done and that was trying to make Sam happy by letting him believe that Dean believed. Sometimes it was just easier to go with the flow rather than swim against the current and Dean was an expert in letting people think that they had gotten what they had wanted

 

*************************************

 

  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Six Weeks**

Dean had planned on doing the deed just once with Sam. It was supposed to have been a ‘one time, all consuming, seal the bond’ thing and then they could move on with their lives but what he hadn’t planned on was doing it again and again and liking it so much. So the pattern of their lives changed once more. Kisses became more frequent and more intense. Hand jobs became the norm and time seemed to slow down as they explored this new facet of their relationship. As before, Sam never pushed for more but he was pleased that Dean became an active participant in their sexual explorations.

Sam was actually surprised by the turn of events. He had seriously underestimated Dean’s interest in sex and it would be nothing to wake in the middle of the night to find his cock hard and his brother bringing them both off. They did it in the shower, against a wall and even in the car although that experience was dampened somewhat by Dean not wanting cum anywhere on the leather seats. Some days they barely made it in the door of the motel before one or the other was jerking the other off. Sex had become part of their lives and since neither of them had had much in the preceding months this was beyond the expectations of them both.

Dean rationalized that sex with his brother kept Sam happy but it also fulfilled his own desire to spend as much of his last days as possible in orgasmic bliss. He accepted that they had a bond, heck he felt it every time he touched Sam but even as he felt it grow stronger he till doubted it’s ability to save him. So while Sam reveled in the magic of it all, Dean just reveled in Sam.

One day Sam sat down next to him, his face serious and his tone somber as he asked, “Do you believe Dean?”

“Are we having an X-Files moment here Sammy? Believe in what?” Dean asked confused by Sam’s sudden intensity.

“The magic!”

Dean tilted his head trying to decipher what Sam was referring to.

Sam rolled his eyes, “The magic of the bond” he stated.

“Does it matter if I don’t?” Dean asked curious to know the answer.

“Yes,” Sam told him emphatically.

Dean was struck by how important it all seemed to his brother. “Why?” he asked.

“Because for it to work you have to believe,” he solemnly explained. “It’s what makes us special Dean,” he whispered in Dean’s ear.

Dean smiled at his brother’s simple logic, “Yeah Sammy I believe it’s there.” And he wasn’t lying he just didn’t tell Sam that he didn’t think that a tiny tattoo and whole lot of hand jobs could stop what was going to happen to him in a few short weeks.

“Good!” Sam said as he threw his arms around his brother and pushed him onto the bed, “I love you Dean.”

“Awww jeez don’t go all girly on me,” Dean huffed as Sam proceeded to strip him naked and explore every bare inch of skin. That in itself was satisfying but when he finished off the whole event with their very first blow job Dean thought he might pass out from the sheer exquisiteness of it all.

No-one had ever paid this much homage to Dean before and Sam lavished him with attention he simply had never experienced in his life time.

By the time Sam licked his balls, his eyes were already glazed over. “God!” Dean groaned.

“Nah just me,” Sam said as he proceeded to suck Dean’s balls one at a time before turning his attention to his straining cock. With long wet licks Sam edged closer to the knob. Dean thrust up encouraging Sam to just do it but Sam wanted to play first. He sucked the head into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it, occasionally pushing at the slit to taste the pre-cum.

“Mmmm,” Sam hummed in pleasure and that feeling alone had Dean clawing at the sheets in anticipation and need.

Sam took Dean deeper. He just seemed to swallow him to the root and the feel of it and sight of it had Dean trying to fuck Sam’s mouth. His breathing was heavy as he panted and gasped at the various sensations Sam was dragging out of him.

“Suck me,” he begged and Sam did.

Sam held Dean’s hips down and took control but Dean countered that with putting his hands on Sam’s head encouraging him to move faster.

Sam kept up a steady rhythm as he bobbed up and down on the shaft and before long he felt Dean’s cock swell and Dean’s grip on his head tightened.

“Sam,” he warned as he thrust up into the wet warmth of Sam’s mouth.

Sam never let go of him and soon enough Dean shot his load. Sam struggled to swallow all the cum but as a testament to his determination to see it through he kept sucking until Dean withdrew more from self preservation than anything else.

Dean lay back one hand over his eyes and his breath ragged. “Where the fuck did you learn to do that?” He eventually asked.

“Well…” Sam started to say but seemed reluctant to go on.

Dean sat up slightly and saw the blush creeping up Sam’s cheeks. “Sammy what did you do?” A hint of jealousy clouding his voice. He wanted to be Sam’s first and until this very moment he hadn’t even realized just how important that was to him.

“Watched gay porn and practiced on a banana,” Sam admitted.

“You sly dog,” Dean laughed more from relied than anything else.

“Hey I can actually put a condom on a banana just by using my mouth,” Sam proudly announced.

Dean pursed his lips, “You just unfold like a flower Sam. Well I have to say since I have first hand experience that your mouth is pretty talented.”

“I bet your lips are too,” Sam murmured.

Dean wasn’t sure he was ready to repay this particular favor but in the end how could he not try? If his geeky brother could give head like a pro then Dean wasn’t about to be out done.

“You want my cock-sucking lips on your cock Sam?” He asked in a deep sultry voice.

“Yeah.”

“Well who am I to deny you that, since you asked so nicely,” he said as he pushed Sam onto his back and settled between his legs.

While Dean didn’t have the experience Sam had, if you count bananas and porn as experience, he knew what he himself liked, so he tried to do the same for his brother and the happy noises Sam was making told Dean that he was doing okay. In a surprisingly short amount of time Sam let out a shout that he was about to come and Dean, just like Sam had done for him, tried to swallow all that Sam offered. As he licked Sam clean he felt quite proud of himself. What he lacked in technique he made up for in enthusiasm and as Sam lay back on the bed breathless and sated, Dean felt a measure of pride that he could give head as good as his brother could.

Dean lay down next to Sam and looked over at his brother. Sam was the only person in the whole wide world who ever made him feel special, magic or no magic, bond or no bond and wow what they had just done had been truly magical. Dean loved blow jobs and so few of the women he met liked to give them let alone swallow him whole and drink him dry. Sam had done all that and it had been unbelievable.

“You’re staring again,” Sam remarked as he watched Dean watching him.

“I know.”

“You know I never could decide if that’s kinky or creepy.”

“I love you too Sammy,”

Dean rarely had chick flick moments but lately after having experienced some the most amazing orgasms of his life it seemed that his mouth readily disengaged from his brain.

“I love you too Dean.”

Dean began to laugh.

“I knew you couldn’t do the cuddle thing,” Sam laughed as he watched his brother chuckling away to himself. “Okay hotshot what’s so funny?”

“I was just thinking blow me takes on a whole new meaning now.”

“Yeah it does. So…”

Dean turned to Sam, “Blow me?” His voice deep and needy.

“How about we try a little sixty-nine and blow each other,” Sam was more than happy to experiment.

Dean’s brain short circuited and for a man who said not more than two weeks ago he didn’t think he could get hard when he thought about guys; he went from flaccid to rock hard in the blink of an eye.

Sam gripped his brother’s cock. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

So while they were slowly moving forward with their sexual relationship they never really discussed what was happening between them nor did they openly express concern that while they were having the time of their lives, time was still marching forward. Privately though Sam tried not to worry about what would happen if they didn’t consummate their relationship but it was a constant underlining fear and sometimes he wondered if Dean ever picked up on his fears through the bond. Dean on the other hand took to this new facet of his sexuality with enthusiasm and his sexual appetite was voracious. For a man who said incest was bad he was doing a fine job of proving love was never wrong no matter whom it was with. Still the point remained, time was running out and if they didn’t do _it_ soon then all of this would be a pleasant but distant memory and not nearly enough to sustain either of them through the tough times ahead.

*************************************************************

 

  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Six Weeks  
Part 6**

If it wasn’t for Deans’ impending date with the hell hounds in less than six weeks then Sam would have said their life was great. They were fooling around heaps although they hadn’t taken it to the next level yet. They were enjoying being together both in and out of bed and the discussions over Dean’s future and whether the bond will work were minimal. In short they were on the same page.

The only problem was it was taking too long to progress to that next level and now with so few weeks left Sam began to wonder whether the bond would be strong enough to save Dean even if they did do it. The bond was so new and it needed time to grow into something stronger and sadly time was something they had so little of. Still he tried to stay positive about it all and consoled himself with the fact that they were finally together on this or so he thought.

“Pack your panties, Sammy. We're hitting the road,” ordered Dean as he hung up the phone to Bobby.

Apparently Bobby told Dean about some guy in Ohio with a spirit problem. While they would normally take such cases it seemed ludicrous to waste time on this when they needed to be ready for when the hell hounds turned up.

Sam frowned, “So you two were talking a case?”

He was struggling with why Bobby would even contact them about this. Bobby knew what was going to happen to Dean and yet he still wanted them to hunt? Sam was astounded and not a little peeved. It was like when they were searching for their Dad. Every set of coordinates or every message he sent, set them off on another hunt or wild goose chase. Dean never stopped to wonder why Dad had done it but still blithely obeyed and here he was now doing the same thing only it was Bobby telling him what to do. Sam really needed to talk to Dean about his need to have someone running his life but then again that may be useful in the bedroom he reasoned as his mind drifted to places that definitely had nothing to do with hunting.

“No, we were actually talking about our feelings and then our favorite boy bands. Yeah, we were talking a case,” Dean sarcastically replied.

“Dean, we're on a case.”

“What case?”

Sam just stared at his brother, “Yours,” he replied, ‘you idiot’ left unsaid.

“Right, yeah. Could have fooled me.”

“What the hell else have we been doing lately other than trying to break your deal?” Sam was at a loss as to what was wrong with Dean. They had spent more time in bed than out of it in the past few weeks and you’d have to be dead not to feel the bond when they were together. This is what they had been working on, ensuring that the bond was firmly in place before Dean’s time was up but now, after one lousy phone call, Sam was being accused of not doing enough to save his brother.

“Chasing our tails, that's what.” Dean snapped. “Sam, we've talked to every professor, witch, soothsayer, and two-bit carnie act in the lower forty-eight. Nobody knows squat and we can't find Bela. We can't find the colt. So, until we actually find something, I'd like to do my job.”

Sam reminded Dean in graphic detail that there was something they hadn’t tried yet.

“No, Sam. No,” Dean emphatically told him and there it was in black and white, Dean had changed his mind again.

 _That man is so unpredictable,_ thought Sam. Heck there wasn’t a day that didn’t pass when they weren’t jerking each other off or sucking each other dry and they just needed to take that final step and yet in one foul swoop Dean had said it was not going to happen. Well if sex was taboo then Sam tried his other trump card the one he hadn’t used in months.

“Dean, we should summon Ruby.”

Dean gave Sam one of those ‘don’t you dare challenge me’ looks, “I'm not gonna have this fight with you.”

“She says she knows how to save you!” Sam knew Dean hated Ruby but the bottom line was if he couldn’t get Dean to change his mind about having sex then they needed a back up plan and Ruby was it.

Sam trusted Ruby, much to Dean’s dismay, and so far she had done nothing to indicate that she was lying. Of course Sam never doubted that she had an ulterior motive but as long as she did what she said and helped Dean out of the deal then he was prepared to negotiate terms with her and he was sure there would be terms.

“Well, she can't!” Dean snarled.

Sam hated it when Dean shut down conversations like that. “Oh, really?” He asked. “You know that for sure?”

“I do.”

“How?"

“Because she told me, okay? She told me flat out that she could not save me. Nobody can.”

They stood there staring at each; each daring the other to say something. Dean was waiting for Sam to self-destruct because his precious demon buddy wasn’t the angel he thought she was but what Dean didn’t know was that Sam wasn’t so much upset about Ruby as he was furious with Dean. Sure he wasn’t happy to hear that she had lied to him but hey she’s a demon after all. His problem now was if the bond failed then he had no ace up his sleeve because Ruby couldn’t deliver on her promise but what really pissed him off, what really rocked him to the core, was that Dean hadn’t told him about this.

“And you just somehow neglected to mention this to me?” Sam asked his temper barely in check.

“Well, you know, I really don't care what that bitch thinks, and neither should you, so...”

“So, what? Now you're keeping secrets from me, Dean? You do know that for the bond to work we need to be honest. I told you my secrets why couldn’t you do the same?”

“You really want to talk about whose keeping secrets from whom?” Dean asked, alluding to all Sam’s secrets from the demon blood, to Mom to Sam knowing Lilith was after them. He had had one secret and that was the promise he made to Dad and it had eaten away at him until he couldn’t bear it anymore and told Sam. Sam however had never seemed burdened by his secrets until he wanted the bond to work. So yes in the spirit of the bond, Dean should have told Sam about Ruby but the reality of it was that Sam had been happy and Dean didn’t want to burst his bubble.

So while Dean thought he was protecting Sam, Sam actually felt betrayed by Dean’s lack of trust.

Sam turned away from Dean. He felt so lost and frustrated. He wanted to save Dean and Dean wanted to be saved but Sam just didn’t know what to do to convince his brother to trust him with everything. Without that trust there was no way the bond would survive.

“Where are you going?” Dean clearly thought Sam was going to leave him because if sex and Ruby weren’t allowed then there wasn’t much reason for Sam to stick around.

Sam sighed, “Guess I'm going to Ohio,” and what choice did he have? He couldn’t abandon Dean now and maybe he’d have a chance to persuade Dean to try the sex again. Lord knows they had nothing to lose and everything to gain by doing it; he just needed Dean to accept that.

*****************************************

Things didn’t improve in Ohio and actually it would be true to say things became decidedly worse. All they seemed to do since they took the job was fight with each other. They still slept in the same bed but there was no touching or kissing and the bond was faltering because of it. Every argument, harsh word and brush off seemed to dim the bond a little more until Sam feared that it would be irrevocably broken.

On top of their personal problems the job was really weird and that was saying something considering the line of work they were in. The local townspeople were plagued by calls from dead loved ones which was right off the charts if they were dealing with a spirit but when Dean received the call from their _’Dad’_ or whatever it was, the job became very personal.

Dean was adamant it was their Dad but Sam wasn’t so sure. They argued over the voice from the grave and in the end Sam chose to help the locals and Dean saw that as Sam walking out on him. The last straw came when _‘Dad’_ offered Dean a way out of his deal by telling him the demon that held his contract was in town. Sam was stunned that Dean was so willing to do whatever the voice told him to do. All it took was hearing their Dad’s voice and Dean was ready to believe anything he said and yet if Sam tried to discuss the bond Dean argued that there was no proof that it could do what Sam said it could.

Finally Sam understood what was happening to them. All the time they had been fooling around Dean had been merely appeasing Sam. He was doing what he had done all his life. He was giving into to what he thought Sam wanted. By giving a little he had let Sam believe that they would eventually do it but now Sam realized that was never going to happen. Dean had been fighting a moral battle since this all started and it would seem with the opportunity of finding some other way out of the deal he was prepared to try that; so prepared that he was willing to take the word of their dead father over that of his living brother.

When Sam challenged him over what the voice was telling him to do Dean replied, “This is my chance for a future.”

“No Dean the chance is with us,” Sam pleaded.

Dean shook his head, “Sam sex doesn’t solve everything.”

“Actually Dean this time it really does but you have to want it.”

“I want what Dad has to offer Sam. Okay I know you don’t approve but hey I don’t approve with what we’re been doing either.”

“Funny I never heard you say ‘Sam don’t touch me’ when you scream my name and shoot your cum down my throat.”

Dean clenched his fists and yelled, “Yeah well if I stop it now then I have a chance to make things right but if we fuck and I know you want to, then there is no turning back and I can’t Sam okay. I just can’t.”

“Dean this is not the way man. Look, I want to believe this voice is Dad. I really do…”

“Then believe it!”

If only it were that simple but every bone in Sam’s body told him that this wasn’t their father and most likely it was a trap which Dean was blissfully going to walk right into.

“So did Dad tell you where to find the demon?”

“I'm waiting on the call!”

Sam shook his head, _If Dean only realized how stupid that sounded._

He knew his brother was desperate to get out of the deal but what struck him was how quickly Dean was prepared to take any solution other than the one Sam offered. He had thrown caution to the wind rather than let Sam save him and that was so not like the Dean he knew. Finally he could take no more and decided to go check on a few people whom he was helping with their spirit problems but as he reached for the door Dean let fly with a tirade.

“Fine I'll be here, you know, getting ready to save my life,” Dean seethed. “You are unbelievable, you know that? I mean, for months we've been trying to break this demon deal. Now Dad's about to give us the freakin' address, and you can't accept it?! The man is dead, and you're still butting heads with the guy!”

Sam sighed, “That is not what this is about,” Sam tried to explain. “We got no hard proof here, Dean. After everything we’ve been through and you're still just going on blind faith!”

“Yeah, well, maybe! You know, maybe that's all I got, okay?!”

“You’ve got me, Dean,” he reminded his brother. “Please. Just don't go anywhere until I get back? Please,” he pleaded.

Dean ignored him which was pretty much the way of things lately. Their routine was one of argue, ignore, walk out, return and do it all again. So Sam left and Dean waited for his ticket out of hell.

Well Sam discovered the hard way what was making the calls. It was a Crocotta, a scavenger that prayed on a person’s need to talk to dead loved ones and once it had lured them in, it killed them and devoured their soul. It was a nasty creature that had moved with the times and had used modern technology to entice its victims. Sadly there were millions of people out there, people like Dean, that were so desperate for a word from the dearly departed that were prepared to do anything and this creature knew that all too well.

Dean also discovered that the caller wasn’t his Dad and that the demon that held his contract wasn’t in town. He even had proof; his face was a mess from fighting with a man who had come to the same address seeking revenge for his daughter’s murder. They both believed the other would be the answer to their problems and both were determined to kill each other. Dean couldn’t believe he had let himself be so easily duped and part of him was pleased he was beaten up because quite frankly he felt he deserved it for being so stupid.

********************************************

It was the early hours of the morning before a very weary and beat up Sam trudged back to their room at the motel. There he found an equally beaten Dean tending to his own injuries.

“I see they fixed your face,” Dean muttered when he saw Sam’s bruises.

“Right back at ya,” Sam replied as he watched Dean apply a cold compress to his own bruised and cut face.

“So, Crocotta, huh?”

“Yep,” Sam replied with a sigh. “Hey, um... look, I'm sorry it wasn't Dad,” and Sam was sorry. He hated seeing Dean like this. He seemed so lost and alone.

Dean snorted, “I gave you a hell of a time on this one.”

“Forget about it.” What Sam really wanted to say was ‘let’s just go back to what we were doing before all this happened, let’s focus on us’ but somehow it just didn’t seem the right time.

“I can't. I wanted to believe so badly that there was a way out of this. I mean, I'm staring down the barrel at this thing... you know…Hell... for real, forever, and I'm just...I'm scared, Sam. I'm really scared.”

“I know.”

“I guess I was willing to believe anything. You know, last act of a desperate man,” Dean admitted.

“There's nothing wrong with having hope, you know…”

“Hope doesn't get you jack squat. I can't expect Dad to show up with some miracle at the last minute. I can't expect anybody to, you know? And the only person that can get me out of this thing is me.”

Dean sounded so despondent. Sam just wanted to take him in his arms and tell him that it would be alright but Dean wasn’t that sort of guy and they didn’t have that sort of relationship. Instead he simply said, “And me.”

"And me?” Dean repeated.

“What?”

“Deep revelation, having a real moment here, and that's what you come back with… ‘And me’?”

Sam grinned, “Do you want a poem?”

“Moment's gone,” he told his brother as he offered him a beer.

Sam took a swig of his drink and said, “You know there’s still hope.”

Dean also took a long drink, “There’s no other way is there?” he asked quietly staring at the bottle.

“You said it yourself we’ve checked out every legend, fairytale, academic, demon, leprechaun and folktale across the globe. If there was something out there we or Bobby would have found it by now. All we have is a handful of medieval tales about getting someone of higher ranking to challenge the demon and the only other thing that I know for sure is that bonds are pretty strong magic.”

“And you believe it?”

“Yeah I do,” Sam answered voice full of determination and heart full of hope.

“Why?”

“Because I can feel it Dean! Every time we touch or kiss it pulses and when we come, dude I’ve never come like that before. It’s not just physical, it’s like you’re in my head and I can feel you come too and I get off on feeling you…shit, look, I’m not making sense but you can’t tell me you don’t feel it too.”

“Maybe,” Dean said with a shrug. “Okay yeah I feel it but don’t you see man it’s not a question about whether the bond exists, it’s about how powerful it is. If it can’t save me then is it worth committing incest for?”

“Like I told you our bodies mean nothing it’s our souls that count.”

“Yeah try and argue that one in court Sammy. I’m sure the judge will understand ‘I had to fuck him because we were together in a past life. It not my fault he came back as my brother, I just wanted to screw his brains out.’”

Sam laughed, “Okay I get it but tell me, did you like what we did? You seemed happy. I didn’t think you were faking it.”

“Sam I’m a guy. Guys can’t fake orgasms.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Fine but you know what I’m getting at.”

Dean finally turned to look at Sam and replied with all honesty, “Maybe that’s my problem Sammy. I liked it way too much.”

Sam let out a breath. Now they were getting somewhere but before he could pursue that line of thinking Dean took the conversation in a different direction.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Uhm yeah okay,” Sam replied with a shrug.

“What happened to you when you died?” With his own death looming this was one of the many questions occupying his thoughts.

“Honestly I don’t know.”

“So where did you go?”

Sam frowned and fiddled with the label on his bottle, “The memory’s blurry and pretty disjointed. Time meant nothing but I didn’t seem to go anywhere. It sort of reminded me of all those near death experiences you hear about except there was no white light and I didn’t see any relatives. I just remember stuff,” though he struggled to put it into words that made sense. Heck it didn’t make sense to him and he lived or should he say died through it.

Dean nodded, he figured it wouldn’t be a straight forward answer.

“I remember you,” Sam admitted. “I remember feeling cold but when you were there I felt warm. I seemed to know that you were talking to me but I don’t know what you said. The memory is of absolute love but also of overwhelming sadness. I don’t recall seeing you but I knew when you were nearby and I missed you when you left.”

“I never left you Sammy,” Dean whispered.

“Yeah you did when you went to see the crossroads demon.”

Dean rubbed a hand over his face. He remembered how useless he felt. How Sam was just lying there on the cot so still and so very dead. Those memories were deep and the pain still raw. He shook his head as if he needed to dispel the thoughts and asked something less heart wrenching but equally complex, “You said we’ve always had a connection? I knew we were close but never realized it was a bond.”

Sam smiled sadly. Just like Dean to only now wonder about things like this when they were counting time in weeks not months.

“Yeah I think we have. How many times have you found me and saved my ass. You’re like the cavalry man. You just charge on in and find me. Half the time you wouldn’t have had a clue where I had gone but you always knew where I was. I guess it’s the same for me. I can sense you. When you were in the coma after the truck hit us I knew you were around that’s why I brought in the Ouija board. I needed to talk to you and I just knew you would answer me.”

“I know what you mean,” Dean had plenty examples of Sam saving his ass too. “So if you had died at the Morton House and we hadn’t…you know…”

“Made love?”

“Yeah. So since we hadn’t done it but we had the tattoos what would have happened to you?”

“You mean what would have happened to us?”

“Okay us.” Although Dean didn’t see what it had to do with him. “All I know is that when I was looking for you I could sense you. I didn’t know where to look but by the time I was downstairs I knew you were nearby and that you were alive.”

“I could feel you too.” Sam took Dean’s hand in his and gently rubbed his thumb over the back of it. “Because we had the tattoos we were connected spiritually so that’s why you knew where I was. Without the tattoos? Well I think you would have found me eventually just like you have in the past whenever we got separated but whether it would have been before the ghost killed me well, I just don’t know.”

“But if you had died would you have gone to hell because of the demon blood?” It was something that troubled Dean from the moment Sam told him about it.

Sam had asked himself that same question a hundred times since his resurrection. Did the presence of a few drops of demon blood condemn him to an afterlife in hell? He had no idea. “Dude I really don’t know. I’ve tried to find some information on it all but it’s like no-one ever experienced it so there’s nothing written about it. However since we’re now bonded, even tenuously, I doubt I would. You are a good person Dean. Surely that should keep me out of hell now that we are spiritually connected.”

“So you weren’t afraid of dying back at the Morton House?”

“Sure I was but more so because the bond wasn’t strong and that meant I would’ve been abandoning you to a horrific fate. I guess the big plus overall is that the bond is new though.”

“I thought the newness was the issue?” Dean was clearly confused and not for the first time he wished he had actually done some research into all of this for himself.

“The issue isn’t how new the bond is but how strong it is. If we have sex then that sort of makes it titanium plated but being new is a blessing considering our age.”

“Sammy you’re not making sense man.”

Sam bit his lip as it dawned on him that Dean _really_ didn’t get it. He took a deep breath and hoped Dean wouldn’t go ballistic when he explained it to him. “Well if we’d had the bond for a while, say a few years and it was firmly in place, then if I died then I’m pretty sure you would’ve died too. That’s the downside of bonds…”

“Hold on did you just say that if you die then I die? So if I die then you die?”

Sam nodded, “Yep.”

“You die, I die!”

“Right.”

“I die…”

“Then so do I,” Sam intoned.

To say Dean was shocked was an understatement. He leapt to his feet and began to pace. “How the fuck did that happen and more to the point why didn’t you tell me Sam huh? You tricked me into this for what? Sex? Did you honestly think I would have agreed to any of it if I had known I was going to end up taking you with me?”

“Dean slow down that’s what happens with bonds once they have been in place for a long time, not new ones like ours. Man listen to me…”

“…no you shut up for once. Did you or did you not say and I quote, _We have nothing else and if I fail you then it’s status quo. Right now you are going to die; if this fails then four months from now you are gone but if it works and I know it will, then we have forever._ Where in all that was the _if you die I die_ warning. And you say I’m stupid. Are you fucking crazy? I have been trying to save you from hell and now you’re just gonna march in there and ask for a suite? It’s hell Sam. They aren’t gonna be nice to me and somehow I don’t think they will be happy to see you either.”

“Well duh that was the idea moron but honestly Dean we won’t get that far. That’s where the legend comes into play. You know someone who is more powerful scares off the demon holding the contract. If I claim you…”

“…you mean fuck me…”

“Okay, if I fuck you then in the demon world that would be like me owning you so I hold your soul and since we are bound together they can’t take you without me and as we have already established they won’t want me down there. Imagine what it would be like…

“…rather not thanks,” Dean said taking another swig of his drink.

“My point is Dean if we ended up in hell, which I doubt we will, then they can’t hurt me and I won’t let them hurt you. I have that power…”

“You can’t be sure of that Sam!”

“Actually I’m pretty sure, Ruby…”

“That demon bitch…”

“Shut up Dean. Ruby said that Lilith was out to get me because she saw me as a rival to take control down there. All she wants to do is kill me and since she sees you as my weak spot she will try to take you out first. Haven’t you ever wondered why since the devil’s gate was opened you have been hurt more times by demons than anything else? You have been beaten up, knocked out, almost chocked on your own blood thanks to those demon witches in Massachusetts and shot in Colorado. They are trying to kill you Dean because they think that I am nothing without you and they’re right. You are the reason I keep going, without you I would have nothing but now we have a bond and that changes everything. Bonded we are stronger than as individuals and down through the years as the bond strengthens we will become an awesome team.”

“It seems like it will make us more of a target Sam; take out either one of us and the other dies anyway, two for the price of one.”

“Okay I concede that the death of one will inevitably end the other but as we have said time and time again neither of us wants to live without the other so what’s the problem? Dean I have no fears for my future because we are connected and you are a ‘good’ person, so I think that would negate the demon blood I carry. You will keep us out of hell. I guess one of the most important things to come out of our bonding is that once the demons realize that we’re bonded it should scare them off. Now I’m not saying that we won’t have problems with demons down through the years, I can’t promise you that but it will be well known that we are bonded and therefore considered dangerous opponents. I think on the whole Dean our future looks good and once we get this contract voided we can start to make a life for ourselves.”

However Dean had locked on to the ‘you die, I die’ scenario and he wasn’t listening to anything Sam had to say.

“I don’t want to be the cause of you dying,” Dean felt like he was on the verge of an apoplexy attack. _How could this have happened? Why did Sam let it happen?_

“Dean ya gotta calm down man this isn’t healthy…”

“…don’t…don’t you dare tell me to calm down. I have spent all my life trying to save you and now I’ll be the cause of your death.”

“Not in the short term and maybe I will cause your death instead. Maybe we will live to be old men and die in our sleep. It doesn’t have to be tragic you know.”

“Undo it,” Dean demanded. “I don’t want it anymore.”

Sam grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. “Stop it. It can’t be undone.”

Dean kept shaking his head and talking over the top of Sam, “I can’t do it to you Sammy. There has to be a way. Fix it.”

Dean was on the brink of hysteria and Sam could feel it through the bond let alone see it.

“Damn it Dean what you’re doing now is hurting me. I can feel it man. I can feel how upset you are but it’s gonna be okay. Please trust me. Hey remember when I told you I don’t want to live without you well I don’t; that’s the god’s honest truth, so it’s fine by me if I drop dead after you because at least we’ll be together.”

Dean kept shaking his head and trying to squirm out of Sam’s hold.

“No more Dean. Everything will be alright. Stop it,” he finally managed to pull Dean into his embrace. “I’m sorry if you thought I lied but I didn’t. I just didn’t highlight the fine print.”

Dean snorted but allowed Sam to hold him.

Sam breathed in Dean’s scent and held on tighter, “All I ever wanted to do was save you and the bond will do that. It will save you and I seriously doubt that we will die when the hell hounds come.”

“How can you be so sure?” Dean mumbled into Sam’s shoulder.

“The bond needs time to mature but that doesn’t mean it can’t save you. The newness of it works in our favor; because it is so new it doesn’t have the power to kill us but it will have the strength to save us. That aside Dean let’s be honest here both of us have admitted that we couldn’t face life without each other so does it really matter if we die within minutes of each other? I mean really, I can’t imagine living without you and so shoot me if I sound like a girl but that’s just how it is.”

Dean knew Sam was right. It was because his brother had died that Dean went running to the crossroads demon in the first place. He just didn’t want to be alone. “Can’t shoot you as it would probably kill us both,” Dean sulked.

“Not yet anyway,” Sam chuckled as he led him back to the bed. “Sit down before you fall down.”

“Okay so back up a bit you said we’ve always had a connection; then would we still have died at the same time if we didn’t have tattoos?”

“Maybe. Not all the people who claim to be soul mates have tattoos.”

“Then without the tattoos would either of us have gone to hell since we have a connection anyway.”

“Maybe but I don’t think it would have been strong enough to stop a hell hound and I wasn’t prepared to bet your life on it.”

“That’s a lot of maybes Sammy. Come on hit me with some facts because I’m seriously not getting why I had to get a tattoo, which hurt like a bitch I might add and then spend weeks fending off a six foot four gay love machine only to discover we could potentially spend eternity in hell anyway because it links us in ways I still don’t understand. Feel free to step in here…”

“Calm down Dean…”

“You calm down…”

Sam snickered and continued, “I figured out we had a life bond years ago. So by the time I was at college it was pretty tuned into you. I used to get a feeling when something wasn’t right…”

Dean shook his head in utter amazement. “…And I got a phone call asking what was wrong. Shit!” How he remembered those out of the blue calls.

“People can survive the loss of a partner in a life bond but it’s rare they survive that loss in a soul bond,” Sam explained. “So to answer the question without the tattoos I doubt I would have died if you died but that doesn’t mean I would’ve wanted to live without you.”

‘The tattoos then? What has that done to us?” Dean was still unsure about everything. There seemed to be so many levels to all of this and he was at a loss to know where he actually stood.

“We upgraded.” Sam laughed. “We sort of changed our life bond into a soul bond.”

“Sam I’m not as into this bonding shit as you are but even I know that you have to sort of develop these things you don’t trade ‘em in on a new model.”

“I know that but when you sold your soul you sort of upped the ante. I didn’t change the bond you did. You linked your life to mine therefore you changed the bond into something stronger. It took me a while to figure it out and when I did I knew we needed the tattoos as a first step to ensure the bond survived. So I merely had us sign the contract by getting us tattoos. The markings are the contract and to make that contract totally binding we need…”

“…to have sex?”

“Yeah. Think of it like a car. The paint job looks great when it’s new but without a good top coat to seal in the layers of paint then the paint fades but that top coat also needs help, so you regularly wax and that keeps the car looking great. We’re the same. We’ve got a natural bond, it’s raw but it works. We’ve added in some markings to give us extra protection but without the physical connection the markings lose their efficiency and the bond will not be strong enough to give us a one hundred percent protection. Make sense?”

“You know I always thought that incest was a one way ticket to hell,” Dean muttered.

“Dean do you think sleeping with me is so bad that God will punish you?”

“Not sure I believe in God Sammy.”

“But you believe there is a hell?”

“Well duh,” Dean rolled his eyes since at the moment hell was but a heartbeat away.

“So if there’s hell, conversely couldn’t there be a heaven and a god?”

“Suppose,” he agreed with a shrug. “Mom talked about angels and Dad ain’t down there anymore but he ain’t here so…”

“Maybe he ended up in a better place?”

“Like to think so Sammy,” Dean admitted.

“Wanna know what I think Dean?”

Dean shrugged.

“I believe that bad people go to hell and good people go to heaven. We are good people Dean. We tend to live on the wrong side of the law, we kill bad things and occasionally have killed innocent people because it was the right thing to do even though taking a life is generally considered wrong. Remember Madison the girl who was a werewolf? She knew that she would hurt people and as much as I didn’t want to kill her I did because taking one life saved countless others. That doesn’t make me a bad person Dean. We kill only if necessary, we assume aliases, indulge in credit card fraud and generally go places and do things that would normally get us arrested but we’re not bad or evil, far from it and I have never thought that because of how we live we should be punished.”

Dean was awed by Sam’s honesty.

“I also believe that you can’t control who you fall in love with and I love you, all six foot one of you. The love I feel for you is as pure as what Dad felt for Mom. Yes you’re my brother but you are also my world and without you I am as good as dead for more reasons than just the bond. You are the reason I wake each day, you keep me good when I could maybe turn bad and my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night are of you because you are my all. I don’t think God will punish either of us because we fell in love, irrespective of whether we’re related or not. You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I know that if I sleep with you it will not make me bad or send me to hell because our love is true love not lust and that makes all the difference.”

Dean seemed to be mulling over what his brother had just said but then he suddenly stood up, “Pack your stuff,” he ordered.

Sam was shocked and not a little worried by this turn in events, “Why?” he asked ready to fight Dean every inch of the way on this.

“Because if tonight is my wedding night I want to be some place nice okay. I’m a traditional sort of guy Sam in case you hadn’t noticed.”

*************************************************************

 

  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Five Weeks  
Part 7**

It didn’t take long to pack their things and hit the road. Sam suggested that they head east and he offered to drive considering he was less beaten up than his brother. Dean agreed which was unusual but not unheard of. Normally Dean would argue the point, it being his car after all but if there was a word that could be attributed to Dean once he made the decision to sleep with Sam then it would be ‘submissive’. It’s not that Sam thought Dean had resigned himself to the situation it was more that Dean was so out of his comfort zone and that he simply gave over control to Sam while he sorted out his thoughts.

Sam had been driving for five hours and what started out as a quiet trip ended up like all their other road trips. They talked about everything from the merits of mullet rock to whether it’s better to buy faded jeans or to let them fade naturally, to what color a carrot is when it’s in the ground. It was so incredibly normal and they were happy and connected for the first time in days. The bond seemed to thrive with their new found harmony and because of it they both felt the need to stay close to each other. They held hands or one draped an arm around the other or they stole a kiss or two. To anyone watching they seemed like a typical young gay couple happy to be together and so obviously in love.

Around mid morning Sam pulled off the main road into a private estate and drove along an endless tree-lined road until he stopped at a two hundred year old mansion that had been turned into a very up-market bed and breakfast in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Only then did Dean stop talking as he reverted to the pensive way he had been when they left Ohio.

Sam leapt from the car and began unpacking their gear but Dean eased himself out of the vehicle and stared at his surroundings.

“Uhm it’s called the Stonewall Inn,” Sam called from the back of the car. “It’s a bed and breakfast. You okay with it? You know stonewall and all.” Sam asked as he walked passed Dean weighed down by their bags.

Dean looked around and nodded towards the nearby low stone wall that seemed to run for miles into the distance and shrugged, “Stone wall.” No big deal. After all if you’ve seen one wall you’ve seen ‘em all but obviously his geeky brother had discovered something interesting about this particular wall.

“So we okay?” Sam panted as he hefted the bags up the stairs to the front door.

“Yeah.”

It was only as he reached the door that he realized that Dean was still standing next to the car, open-mouthed and frozen to the spot. Sam dropped their things and went to retrieve his brother.

“You said you wanted somewhere nice to stay,” he reminded Dean as he placed an arm around his shoulders and gently guided him to the door. “I searched the net and found a place that seemed to fit our needs.”

“Huh?” Was Dean’s only response.

Sam rolled his eyes. “It has a king sized bed, bath, fireplace, sitting room and breakfast is included, they also have a gym, an indoor swimming pool and horse riding available.”

Dean kept looking between Sam and the inn.

“How? When?” Squeaked Dean clearly overwhelmed by the place and Sam’s efforts to please him.

“I gave then a call when we stopped for gas and they had vacancies. So…here we are.”

“Night?”

“Just for the night?” asked Sam as he tried to decipher Dean’s single word sentences.

Dean nodded.

“A week actually.”

Dean was surprised. “Week?”

“They had excellent rates and it just seemed the perfect getaway for us.”

“Money?” Dean’s eyes were large and while credit card fraud was their way of life he doubted they had enough on all their cards combined to pay for something like this.

“Will you trust me if I say it’s not a problem?”

“No. Who?”

“Who’s paying?”

Dean nodded again.

Sam seemed uncomfortable but finally said, “Me.”

“You!” Dean swung around and grabbed Sam by his jacket. “YOU!”

“Yeah. Look do we have to do this in the garden?” He asked as he pried Dean’s hands off him.

Dean gave him that look that said ‘no bedroom fun without the explanation pal.’

“Okay I worked when I was at college. I was saving for the future. I thought…”

“Jess?” Dean was almost sorry he had brought her into the conversation. This was their day after all, she had had hers with Sam, and Dean really didn’t want to share this with anyone least of all a memory.

“Yeah I planned to marry her, so I was saving for the wedding and…” Sam didn’t want to remember those days anymore, this was his life now and this is what mattered.

“Honeymoon?”

Sam smiled sadly, “Yeah so I kept saving the money, moved it to an account under a different name in case…you know the feds; didn’t want to lose it to them.” He shrugged slightly embarrassed to be telling Dean all of this. “Anyway I thought maybe one day it would come in handy. Look I just wanted to use it for something, someone really special…like you. So this is _our_ honeymoon okay. Dean we deserve this, we’ve earned it and I’ll be damned if I’ll spend our first night together in some flea ridden back street motel. So I’m sorry I kept this from you but I want you to be happy, to feel special, so come on lover let’s go book in.”

Dean hesitated and a blush crept over his features as once more he looked from Sam to the inn and back again.

“Dean what’s wrong,” which seemed an odd thing to ask considering Dean hadn’t managed to put a full sentence together yet.

“Sex!” He whispered in case someone was lurking nearby.

Sam laughed, “Trust me I don’t intend to throw you up against a wall the minute we close the door to our room. Right now I just want to kickback, ease my poor overused muscles into a bath and have a great dinner. So will you relax?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, because as much as I am enjoying this D&M I’d prefer to have it in our suite. So come on.”

“Suite?” Dean’s tone clearly indicated he was interested in what their room was like.

“If you want to see it you have to move your feet,” Sam teased as he coaxed Dean up the stairs to the front door. “So shall we go in?”

“Fine.”

“I love you,” he whispered as he kissed Dean tenderly.

“Ditto,” Dean replied returning the kiss.

****************************************

Sam opened the door, pushed Dean through first and then followed with the bags. It was like entering another world. The lobby was tastefully decorated but it was so different to the world the boys moved in that they both just stood there and stared. However they had little time to absorb where they were because suddenly they were surrounded by a bevy of excited guests, who fussed over them, cooed at them and offered them massages and other relaxation suggestions. The crowd it seemed were concerned by the boys’ appearance and feared that they had been brutalized by some marauding posse of homophobes.

After much tut, tutting and tsk, tsking the manager arrived and shooed everyone away.

“Hans Downe,” he announced with a bow. “Hans is the Manager,” he told them as he referred to himself in the third person. “Hans is the son of Ben and Kalm Downe. This magnificent residence has been in the Downe family since Low and Brin Downe immigrated to this fine country over a century ago. They are the ones who brought this fine house back to its former glory,” he explained as he threw his hands in the air and turned around to showcase the luxurious establishment.

“Sam and Dean Winchester,” Sam said by way if introduction. “I called earlier about the suite.”

“Ah yes, yes! Everyone these boys are our honeymooners. Sam and Dean,” he informed the throng who cheered and clapped.

Dean turned bright red but Sam beamed and put a hand firmly around Dean’s waist just in case his brother decided to make a run for the door.

“Oh but look at you two,” Hans clucked. “So handsome, so tall, so damaged. Poor babies. We will take care of you,” he declared as he grabbed Dean’s chin and turned his face this way and that examining the cuts and bruises. “Hmm you will heal. So come, come, sign the book and then you can go play in your room.”

He ushered them over to the desk all the while extolling the benefits of the inn. Dean tried to be attentive but he noted with dawning horror that Sam had registered them using their real names. He surreptitiously poked his brother trying alert him to his mistake while attempting to be attentive as Hans waxed lyrical about long walks in the woods, canoeing on the lake and canoodling in the hot tub.

“There is much you can do here…together and with friends. There is the gym for making those muscles bigger, and the pool for making those bodies wetter and of course the riding. Do you like riding?” he asked waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Ah riding is a bit new to me,” Dean admitted.

“Well, well, then I’m sure you will enjoy the experience either saddled or bareback but Hans will let you choose.”

“Okayyyy…” Dean rubbed the back of his neck feeling like he had missed something in the conversation but just couldn’t quite put a finger on it.

Sam quickly stepped in. “It all sounds wonderful Hans. The perfect place to forget the world.”

“Yes, yes it is! Hans wants to assure you that you won’t be disturbed unless you want us to of course, nor will those evil villains find you again. You are perfectly safe here and if anyone, ANYONE at all, harasses you, then you let Hans know and Hans will get his Willy out to chase them away. Allow Hans to reveal his Willy.”

“No,” Dean and Sam cried in unison as they feared what would be exposed.

“Silly boys,” Hans said with a laugh. “Willy!” He called. “Where’s my Willy?”

From a back room emerged Hans’ Willy. He was taller than Sam; six pick handles across and with more hair than smoky the bear. “Hey,” the beast grunted as he extended his hand to shake theirs. “Willy.”

“This is Hans’ Willy,” cooed the manager. “Isn’t he divine?” He stated as he draped himself over the man. “Willy this is Sam and Dean Winchester. Look at these beautiful boys, someone hurt them.”

“Bastards!” growled Willy. “What they use then? Chains, jackboots, clubs?”

“Baseball bat,” replied Sam.

“Glass window, furniture, fists,” answered Dean.

“You need anythin’? We got ice packs, painkillers…stuff. You need it we’ll get it. How long ya stayin’?”

“A week. It’s our honeymoon,” Sam chirped bouncing on his feet.

Dean on the other hand wished the ground would just open up and swallow him whole.

“Awww that’s so sweet. I remember when Hans and I got hitched. It was just beautiful. Still makes me teary thinking about it,” he sniffed as he bent down and kissed his partner sweetly.

“Hans remembers. Oh when Hans touched his Willy on their wedding night it was explosive.”

“I bet,” mumbled Dean.

“Remember if you need anything, ANYTHING, Hans and his Willy will be here for you. Satisfying _your_ needs is our primary concern. You call, we serve, you come again if you know what Hans means,” he said with a wink. “Now spit spot off you go to your rooms. Relax and rejuvenate and remember CIO.”

“CIO?” Dean just had to ask.

“I’ll explain in our room,” Sam whispered but it was too late Hans was already filling Dean in on what it meant.

“Silly boy! CIO…you know…clothing is optional,” he winked again. “Shoo now off you go to play. Willy will take your bags,” he prattled as he hustled them towards the stairs.

Sam smiled happily and thanked the man for his enthusiastic welcome.

Dean went to say something but instead shook his head and followed Willy upstairs to the suite. The big man placed the bags in their room but the boys stood at the door peering inside. Finally Sam acted. He whisked Dean into his arms and carried him into the room.

“What the…” Dean cried as he was manhandled through the door.

“Tradition,” stated Sam a little breathless from the effort. “It’s our wedding night. I was carrying you over the threshold.”

“Cute, now put me down before you strain something.”

Sam lowered him to the floor and at least had the good grace to look sheepish.

“You’ve been planning that for a while haven’t you?” said Dean.

“Sort of,” Sam admitted.

“Anything else I should know about? Rose petals, marching bands?”

“Nope.”

A grunt reminded them that they weren’t alone. “I’ll leave ya to it,” Willy told them. “Have fun,” he said with a knowing nod of the head and as he passed Sam he whispered, “Here. Ya might need some extra.” He handed Sam a large tube of lube and a fist full of condoms. “Besides if he’s as cherry as I think he is, you’re gonna need it.” He added before closing the door.

Dean luckily had been too preoccupied with his new surroundings to notice the exchange, much to Sam’s relief.

“The room is it…?” Dean began.

“…yeah,” Sam replied with a shy shrug as he looked at the room.

“You asked for the honeymoon suite?”

“Yeah,” Sam had a grin a mile wide.

“Awesome!”

“Yeah you are,” Sam told his brother lovingly.

Dean blushed and busied himself with exploring the room. There was a cookie platter on the table much to Dean’s delight and a bar fridge full of goodies. “Death by mini bar, wow what a way to go,” he gleefully exclaimed.

Dean bounded down a short hall to the bathroom. “Sam!” he cried.

Sam flew into the room after him, “Dean what’s wrong?”

“It’s got a Jacuzzi tub and bath robes,” he squealed, though if challenged Dean would never admit that he was even capable of squealing. “Look at this,” he called over his shoulder as he stood in the shower cubicle which had a shower head at each end. “Big enough for two.”

 _That’s the idea,_ thought Sam as he watched his brother bounce off the walls as he investigated the room.

However, before Sam could even look at the shower, Dean was off again.

“Where’s the bedroom?” came a voice from the other room, followed by, “Found it!”

Sam followed Dean’s voice and joined him in their bedroom. They stood utterly mesmerized by the site of a king sized bed. The room was awash in candle light and the scent of sandalwood incense filled the air. Each of the bedside tables was adorned with a range of sexual products from flavored lube to handcuffs and above them a mirror adorned the ceiling.

“Hmm,” they both said as they stared at the plush and somewhat exotic setting. Neither of them knew how to handle the situation. Sam didn’t want to rush Dean in case he fled into the night and Dean finally understood just what was going to happen between them tonight and he was as nervous as a virgin in a brothel.

A knock on the door saved them both from the awkward moment. Dean raced to open the it and was greeted by another staff member, “Hi I’m Hans’ brother.”

“Let me guess you’re Lay Downe?” asked Dean sarcastically as he eyed the stoner in front of him. The one thing he had discovered since arriving at the inn was that it was full of people who were ‘out there.’

“Nah that’s my older brother. There are four boys in our family, Hans, Lae, Moe and me. I’m the youngest. Just filling in time until whatever man.”

Dean just shook his head wondering if this was some sort of joke but he had to ask the obvious question, “So who are you?”

“I’m Craig.”

“Craig?” Dean chuckled. “Your family not like you or something?”

“Something,” he said with a lazy shrug. “Dunno man. My bros got cool names and then there’s me ya know. We make the most of what we have you know what I mean? Anyway it’s cool ‘cause the brothers call me Crack.”

“Of course they do,” somehow that didn’t surprise Dean in the least.

“Here.” Crack handed over a huge basket filled with champagne, strawberries and chocolate. “Hans sent this up compliments of the house dude, so enjoy ‘cause it’s, ya know, free. He said to tell ya that he wished you guys a long and happy life together and I just want to say hope ya get ya brains fucked out dude.”

Dean took the basket and turned bright red. Besides Crack’s lewd comment Dean noticed that the basket also came with a selection of condoms and lube. _Jeez how much sex do these guys expect us to have?_ Wondered Dean as he had already noted that the suite came equipped with an over abundance of prophylactics.

“Ah yeah thanks,” Dean mumbled.

Crack just stood there waiting but Dean was too busy coming to grips with what was going to be happening in a very short time to even notice.

Sam came to the rescue and handed the man a tip. “Thanks Craig, I mean Crack. Tell Hans we appreciate it,” he said as he took the basket from Dean.

“Bitchin’,” the man yelled as he loped down the hall.

Sam shook his head in amazement, closed the door and placed the basket on the table.

“Dean,” he called but Dean was still staring at the closed door. “Dean?” he tried again.

Dean turned around, “Sam where are we?” He sounded confused, twilight zone confused.

“Lancaster, Pennsylvania….”

“No here…what is this place?”

“Well it’s not hotel California, you can check out anytime Dean and you can even leave if you want.”

“I don’t want to leave, I just want to know what this place is,” Dean was getting more and more wound up.

Sam sighed, “You said tonight would be our wedding night so I wanted us to be somewhere that didn’t mind same sex…”

“So you told them that we were gay?” Dean screamed.

“Yes Dean I did because you know what? We are gay! Boys! Bonded! Sex together, using our boy bits.”

“All those people downstairs…”

“…are gay.” Sam was frustrated. They should be doing _it_ not arguing about ethics and orientation. “This is a gay B &B. I wanted us to go somewhere that didn’t make us feel different.”

“Dude we _are_ different. We’re brothers!” Dean whispered conspiratorially. The last thing he needed was for someone to learn that about them. “And that reminds me you signed us in as brothers, as Sam and Dean Winchester. Are you nuts?”

“Am I nuts? News flash moron we’re supposed to be married so we would have the same last name.”

Dean took a breath ready to begin a new complaint when what Sam said finally sank in, “I know that,” he replied defensively.

“Point is Dean no-one would ever know we’re brothers unless you told them.”

“Okay, okay I get that but why here? Why not stay at the Holiday Inn or something?”

“Well for a start you said you wanted something better than where we usually stay. Next, our decision to sleep together is a huge step and I wanted somewhere where we could be comfortable with that decision and lastly we needed somewhere where, if we get a little vocal in the bedroom, people wouldn’t be squeaked. I just figured we should be able to be ourselves.”

“Being ourselves is being able to be brothers and by the way I’m not loud,” Dean stated.

“Dean more often than not people think we’re a couple so I don’t see the problem and yeah you are noisy. When you start moaning it’s all down hill from there and it’s very sexy by the way.”

“Don’t distract me. I’m trying to think.”

“Which head are you using?”

“Shut up!”

“Fine Dean but I don’t get what your problem is?”

“Come on Sam this isn’t our world. That Hans guy is as camp as a row of tents.”

“Well I did ask you when we arrived if you were okay with staying at a gay B&B and you said you were.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Yes I did. I told you it was called the Stonewall Inn and asked if you were okay with it.”

“You never said it was gay. I agreed to stay because I thought you wanted to go exploring stone walls. It was hardly a reason to jump back in the car and find somewhere else to stay.”

Sam pursed his lips. _Okay so that was mistake number one._ “So you didn’t understand what I was saying!”

“No I understood fine…”

“No you didn’t understand Dean. Stonewall refers to the Stonewall riots in New York during the sixties.”

Dean shrugged a ‘so what’ in return.

“It started the gay liberation movement. Sort of came at the end of the sexual revolution and…”

“Slow down there slick. We came here for sex not a history lesson.”

“Fine but I thought you understood.”

“How was I supposed to know the place was for boys swinging on the vine? Never been interested in boys until recently; they’re just not on my radar, still aren’t thanks to the bond. I only have eyes for you Sammy. Besides I was hardly going to say turn around we’re leaving because they named the place after a freakin’ stone wall. Hell we passed the Beechwood Inn and it had a line of tress but I didn’t think I needed to be a woodcutter to stay there and I saw a turn off to Camp Lyckalott but we didn’t go there either. You had an agenda and I just figured you knew what you were doing.”

Dean’s logic was always so simple, it truly amazed Sam, “Actually I looked at a number of places to stay but I thought this area would be calming. You know rolling hills, lakes, that sort of stuff. The gay thing sort of came out of that; we needed acceptance so I looked through a list of gay lodgings and found this place. Oh and in case you’re wondering why we didn’t stay at the Beechwood, you have to be over fifty-five and clearly we’re not even close and Camp Lyckalott? That’s a lesbians only camping ground, which as we have already established we don’t have the right equipment to go there.”

“Chicks? Awesome!”

Sam had had enough. “Dean what is your problem? Is it that you don’t like gays because dude I didn’t think you were that narrow-minded or is it that you don’t want people to know we’re gay?”

“Gays are fine and lesbians…hot…”

“Then what is the problem. Is it too up market for you? Do you feel out of your depth? Tell me so I can make it right?”

“I’m a virgin,” Dean mumbled.

“What?”

“I said I’m a virgin.”

“So?”

“How am I supposed to walk downstairs and have everyone look at me knowing what we did?”

“You’re kidding right?” Sam asked, amazed that his brother was actually embarrassed.

“No,” he said as he pouted and folded his arms.

“For a start we’re on our honeymoon. People expect us to fuck.”

“Yeah but at a Holiday Inn they wouldn’t know.”

“Trust me with the noise you make they would have had some idea.”

Dean rolled his eyes at Sam, “We are so not going there again!”

“Dean I can guarantee you we won’t be the only ones doing it. The place is full of guys; guys who came here for a holiday and when on holidays people tend to relax and fuck each other senseless. So trust me you won’t be alone,” he stated as he opened the champagne from the basket and poured them both a drink. “Oh and by the way when Hans mentioned riding, he wasn’t talking about horses dude.” Sam handed Dean a glass, “Bottoms up,” he said as he clinked Dean’s glass and sipped his drink.

Dean downed his drink and held it out for a refill. “So what did he mean?”

“Riding cocks. Boys on top. Oh and for the record bareback means unprotected sex. You know sex without a condom.”

“Oh,” Dean squeaked as he emptied his glass again.

“So do you want to stay or is it too much for you?” Sam gave him an out but deep down he hoped they would stay. He really liked the place.

“No, no! We’re staying and you’re right I wanted something special but I’m just…I’m just a little overwhelmed by it all. I’ve never stayed anywhere like this before. It’s…”

“Yeah it’s a bit different to what we’re used to,” Sam agreed as he poured them both another drink.

“So do we…you know…” Dean pointed towards the bedroom unsure of what was expected of him now that they were here.

As much as Sam wanted to say yes, he decided being patient would be the best move. “Thanks for the offer man but right now I’m beat. Why don’t we see what’s on TV and try out that Jacuzzi. I had a look at the menu here and it’s pretty impressive. If you don’t feel like going down to the restaurant we can have room service.”

“Room service? Really?”

“Anything you want.”

“Sammy just how much money have you saved?”

“Enough to keep you happy.” He took Dean’s glass, placed it on the table, pulled the man to him and kissed him deeply. “So we gonna let nature take it’s course?” Sam murmured as he sucked Dean’s earlobe.

“Fuck nature,” Dean whispered as he returned Sam’s kiss.

“I’d rather fuck you.”

“Works for me!” Dean replied as he began to undress Sam.

*************************************************************

 

  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Five Weeks  
Part 8**

They stumbled over their clothes and each other as they edged towards the bedroom. Sam had always thought their first time together would be slow and gentle but he had to admit Dean’s new found enthusiasm for gay sex intoxicating.

Now as they lay entangled on the bed the only problem they faced was that they were two straight guys who had always been the ones doing the penetrating and so both were determined to be on top; neither wanted to concede an inch as they worked each other into a sexual frenzy. Lips were locked as they breathed for each other and hands roamed freely touching every last inch of bare skin. It was hot, needy and downright sexy and both boys felt like they were about to come from the overwhelming sensations.

“Need you,” Dean murmured as he threw his head back to give Sam better access to his neck “Want you so much.”

“Want you too,” came the breathy reply.

“Turn around,” Dean ordered. Dean had almost no experience in gay sex but he figured the only way to do this was doggy style, so Sam needed to turn around quickly before Dean came from the mere thought of doing it.

“No…can’t…you first,” Sam replied as he tried to push Dean onto his back.

“I’m the oldest…”

Sam groaned as Dean fisted his cock, “…but I have to go first, remember?”

Dean was getting edgy, “Dude just because you’re the youngest doesn’t mean you get everything.”

“But I have demon blood,” Sam stressed in between sucking Dean’s nipples.

Dean was a little frustrated with the conversation but tried to keep it light, “But I’m the one who was undecided about this; so me first then you. Besides you haven’t tried my McThunderstick yet. One poke with that and you’ll forget your own name.”

Sam groaned, “I have to claim you first.”

“I thought we just had to have sex,” Dean began to kiss a path down Sam’s chest towards his cock. “So we’re having sex. Let me make you McHappy Sam.”

“You are making me happy and we…we do need…sex, we need sex...” Sam was gasping as part of him wanted push Dean lower and part of him needed to make it clear to Dean what was required this first time.

“So me first,” Dean blew across the top of Sam’s weeping cock before his lips engulfed the head.

“Dean…yes…no…Dean listen…listen…suck it…yeah like that…remember I said that if I fuck you…then the demons…yeah god you’re so good at that…they will know that your soul is bound to me and that they can’t take you without me...” Sam moaned as he his blood rushed south and the sight of Dean’s lips wrapped around his cock almost sent him over the edge. “Dean wait…please…oh god,” He pulled his brother up so that they were face to face. “So until the deal is over I have to take you, after that we can share it I promise. Do you understand?”

He needed Dean to acknowledge what he had said because this had to be a mutual decision to join together.

Dean stared at Sam for a heartbeat, his lips still glistening from sucking Sam’s cock. “So you have to be on top?” But he sort of knew what the answer would be even though he asked the question.

“You okay with that?”

“Can we still have sex now?” Dean asked his eyes glazed with lust.

Sam smiled, “Loads of sex.”

“Okay,” Dean seemed to be hyperventilating and he clutched Sam’s arms as he pleaded. “Do it. Do me. Just make it quick. I’m a man on the edge here Sam.”

Sam pushed Dean on to his back and began to worship his body. Dean writhed under his brother’s skillful hands and his moans became louder and louder as Sam took Dean’s cock into his mouth. “Yes. Yes! Love this…love you…want you…ah…so close…”

Sam brought to him the edge then backed off. He didn’t want Dean to come just yet; that was something he wanted them to do together.

“Sam no…no…” Dean begged, as Sam let go of him.

“Shhh I need to get you ready and then we can come together,” Sam assured him as he lowered his lips to Dean’s for a tender kiss.

Sam sat up and Dean followed, kissing and caressing him while waiting for Sam to get the stuff they needed but suddenly Sam wasn’t holding him or kissing him or anything. Everything had stopped…well not everything just Sam.

It took Dean a few seconds to realize he wasn’t receiving any attention from his previously pushy brother, “What are you waiting for?” Dean asked as he sucked on the pulse point on Sam’s neck hoping for some response from Sam.

“I…”

“You what?” Dean mumbled in between nipping along Sam’s jaw.

“I’m not sure…” Sam blurted out.

Dean’s voice rose an octave as he stilled and sat back to look at his brother, “What do you mean you’re not sure?”

“I want to but I’m not sure I can…” he waved his hand in the air indiscriminately.

“What the hell does,” and Dean repeated Sam’s hand action, “mean? You said we had to do this.” He knew he was yelling but he didn’t care. “You said it would save me. You said that incest wasn’t bad, that it wouldn’t send us to hell; you said that sex between us would be great. You said you researched how to do it; so don’t you dare tell me now when I’m about to come all over the sheets that you’re not sure.”

“Nothing’s changed Dean, I _do_ want you. I have never been this hard in my life I swear but…”

“But what?”

Sam sighed, “I’m just not sure I can stick my finger up there,” Sam muttered as he looked at the candles flickering around the room instead of at Dean.

“What the fuck?” Dean screamed. “You want to stick your cock up there but you don’t think you can put your finger inside me? Are you fucking crazy?”

Sam pouted and shrugged.

“Get over it Sam. Whether you do it to me or I do it myself, either way _we’re_ doing it now.”

“Dean…” Sam whined.

“Don’t Dean me. We need to have sex and I really need to come, so fine I’ll get myself ready,” he announced but then he sat there slightly confused “…ah what exactly do I have to do?” Dean had been counting on Sam to guide him through their first time and now if he wanted to be taken he had to prepare himself.

“We need to stretch…” Sam explained while making a circle with his fingers.

Dean frowned as he tried to interpret what Sam was saying, “Oh, right, I got it,” when he realized what Sam meant.

“Coat your finger in lube and put it…” Sam instructed.

“I know where it has to go.” Dean snapped. “So we got any lube?”

Sam pursed his lips and looked around the room where tubes and bottles of lube seemed to adorn every flat surface.

“Okay right.” Dean snagged a bottle off the bedside table and squeezed a huge amount onto his finger. “Want some?” He asked Sam hoping his brother might have changed his mind.

“You first,” Sam mumbled.

“Fine so let me get this straight. You want to put that,” he pointed to Sam’s engorged cock, “which is bigger than a finger up my ass but you don’t want to put your fingers up there?”

“No! Yes! Look I don’t want to hurt you.”

Dean knelt up on the bed facing Sam and reached behind himself, fingers seeking his hole. “Then maybe you shouldn’t be sending little Sam over here for a sleepover in my ass if you’re so worried about hurting me.”

He managed to insert his own finger into his ass but it felt awkward and it really killed the mood as his cock began to droop. “So it’s up there. Now what do I do?” Dean panted. The feeling was strange but not uncomfortable at least not yet.

“Push it around, you know in an out and when it feels okay put a second finger up there.”

Dean did as he was instructed but it didn’t feel like he was making a difference down there though he was unsure how it should feel anyway. “Do I need more lube for a second finger?”

“I don’t know how does it feel now?” Sam asked genuinely curious about the whole process.

“Like an oil slick,” Dean grunted.

“Well the stuff I read said that the back passage doesn’t have any natural lubrication. You know it’s not like a woman who…”

“I get it Sam so the more lubrication the easier it gets.” He withdrew his finger. “Lube me up,” he demanded as he presented two fingers to his brother.

Sam complied and watched in amazement as Dean stretched around to insert two fingers into himself.

“Fuck!” Dean growled in frustration.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t…wait there’s one in. So how do I get the second finger in?”

Sam’s eyes bulged at the question, “Just push it in.”

“Fine for you to say ‘Mr I can’t put my finger up my brother’s ass’ but I can’t see what I’m doing and there doesn’t seem to be a lot of room down there,” he said twisting his head back and forth trying to see over his own shoulder. “How many fingers are supposed to fit in there anyway?”

“Three’s a good number maybe four but most people seem to cope with three.”

“Three! Three fingers. Sammy I can’t get two in there.”

“It’s Sam…”

“Whatever. So how am I supposed to mange three, when I can’t even get two in?”

“Stay still,” Sam urged, as he moved around to look at what was happening to his brother’s behind. “Just push it in or take the other one out and try putting them in together.”

“I tried that but there’s no room,” Dean grumbled.

“Dean you gotta make room.”

“Thank you Captain Obvious and what the fuck are you doing?” Dean asked as he realized Sam’s head was level with his ass.

“I’m trying to see what you’re doing wrong.”

“I’m not doing anything wrong. It’s just that my asshole must be small because there is no way two fingers are getting in there and if they don’t make it in you can kiss the whole ‘seal the bond with sex’ thing out the window.”

“Dean your other finger isn’t even near the hole,” Sam tried to explain.

“Yes it is.”

“No it’s not.”

“Sam it’s my finger and it’s connected to my other finger which happens to be imbedded in my hole and…”

“…and I can see what’s wrong. I’m here watching and trust me your second finger is nowhere near where your first one is.” To prove his point he grabbed Dean’s lubed up wayward digit and tried to push it in the right direction, namely inside Dean.

“What the…” Dean gasped in shock.

“I’m trying to help you.”

The sensation of his finger, which Sam seemed to forget was attached to his hand, being jammed against his ass was a little disconcerting. “Well stop,” Dean demanded.

Sam, however, was a man on a mission and he bent that finger and gave it an unholy shove to get it inside Dean. Such forceful action elicited an unexpected reaction. Dean howled in shock and jerked backwards which in turn threw him off balance, causing him to unceremoniously topple off the bed, fingers still in his ass, to land awkwardly on the plush carpeted floor.

“Dean? Dean you alright?” Sam cried as he scrambled to the edge of the bed to see if Dean was okay.

“Super,” he replied. “I think I dislocated my fingers.”

Sam fell back on the bed laughing. “Very funny! You had me going for a minute you douche. I thought you were serious.”

“I am serious jerk off,” Dean cried as he tried to right himself without causing any more pain to his damaged fingers or to his ass. Sadly though in his efforts to get back up onto his knees so that he could more easily extricate the now bent out of shape fingers, he fell backwards once more except this time he hit his head on the corner of the bedside table and knocked himself out.

“Dean?” Sam yelled. “Dean!”

*****************************************

“He’s waking up…”

“Is he okay?”

“He’s gorgeous…”

“Dean? Dean can you hear me?”

The voices were muffled but Dean knew enough to know that there were more people than just Sam in the room.

“Sammy,” he whispered before he dared open his eyes.

“I’m here Dean.”

Dean opened his eyes cautiously and was pleased that the soft light of the candles didn’t make his headache worse. “What happened?”

Even in the dim light Dean could make out the blush rising in Sam’s cheeks.

Sam sat next to Dean on the bed, “Well…”

And then it all came rushing back to Dean, “Wait! Don’t…I remember.” He lifted his hand to rub his face and saw the splinted fingers.

Before he could ask about the splint a voice from the shadows that Dean didn’t recognize told him all he needed to know, “You dislocated them when you fell.”

A deep crimson hue made its way over Dean’s face as he remembered all too well what he had been doing when he fell.

“Hi I’m Daniel,” said a casually dressed man in his mid thirties who now moved into Dean’s line of sight. “I’m the house doctor. Sam was concerned so I thought I’d better check you over. You knocked yourself out among other things. Do you remember anything?”

Dean stared at the man in utter mortification then turned his head slowly back to stare at Sam. He would have preferred to maul Sam to death for putting him through this but any movement elicited pain so the retribution he planned for his little brother would have to wait until they were alone and his head stopped hurting.

Sam recognized the look that flashed across Dean’s face. “I was worried you might have…” but he didn’t want to say exactly what he was worried about with an audience present.

“Sam was concerned that you may have injured yourself internally,” the doctor filled in the gaps.

“So he came to Hans,” Hans related from his position at the foot of the bed. “Hans and his wet Willy came to help get you back on the bed. Hans’ Willy is very strong,”

Willy added, “Yeah I was in the pool when Hans said you’d hurt yourself. Anyways we thought you might have done some real damage being your first time and all.”

Dean stared at the inn manager and his lover and then slowly looked around at a very contrite Sam. The look on Dean’s face was one of ‘you will pay for this forever Sam,’ a look with which Sam was not unfamiliar.

“Dean I was worried,” Sam hurriedly tried to explain. “I thought you might have done something really bad.”

Dean just gaped at him with a mixture of stunned amazement and abject horror on his face.

Sam gulped and rubbed his now sweaty palms on his jeans. That’s when Dean noticed that his brother didn’t have a shirt on. He guessed that Sam must have panicked when Dean fell, grabbed his jeans from the living room floor and ran bare-chested and bare foot downstairs to call for reinforcements.

 _Kill me. Kill me now._ Dean thought as he realized he must have looked quite a sight when they all filed into the room.

“There’s no serious damage, so sex won’t be a problem but since you have a mild concussion I suggest you lay off the wedding night antics for a day or two. Your fingers should be good in a few weeks and you can take the splint off when you shower. You okay to bandage it again Sam?”

“Yeah. No problem. Thanks Daniel,” Sam sounded so relieved that Dean was almost willing to forgive him for bringing half the inn into their bedroom but not quite and not yet.

“My pleasure. Oh and I gave you a quick once over to ensure there was nothing broken from your earlier incident,” Daniel told Dean.

Dean seemed confused but Sam explained, “You’re still covered in bruises from the beating dude. Daniel just thought it might be a good idea to make sure you were okay.”

“Oh!” a very subdued Dean replied.

“Happy to help and for what it’s worth congrats on getting together. I was with my partner for ten years.”

“Was?” Dean was curious as to why the man was alone now.

“He passed a few years back. So I came here to get away from everything and ended up moving in. This place has a way of keeping people forever,” Daniel laughed at Dean’s horrified expression. “Hey it’s not Hotel California. You can leave but there is something remarkable about the place. Anyway take it easy tonight and I’ll check in on you tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” Dean said quietly. “…I think,” he added under his breath.

Hans and Willy hovered after doctor Daniel left. “Hans was worried,” the inn keeper announced.

“He was,” Willy stressed. “Real worried.”

“And you, sweet boy, a virgin of love making,” the flamboyant man informed Dean with a sniff. “So sad.”

“I told ya he was cherry,” Willy confided to his lover.

“Hans told you love would find a way,” Hans reminded Willy.

Dean was a bit miffed. He couldn’t remember a time in his life when people spoke over him like this and the concept that he was an innocent virgin was alien to him since he had been screwing women forever.

“He’s a virgin too,” Dean grumbled, pointing to Sam, not prepared to take the brunt of this fussing alone. This whole mess was Sam’s fault. If he had just done what he had to do then none of this would have happened.

Sam might have been over six foot tall but he felt like he was a child once Dean told Hans the truth.

“Oh my. Two virgins! So beautiful, so perfect!” clucked Hans. “We help you,” the man announced.

“Yeah they sure do need help.” Willy agreed.

“Boys would you like Hans and his Willy to help you? Teach you in the ways of man loving?”

“No!” The boys emphatically replied.

Hans carried on oblivious to their rejection, “Hans can show you how to make him scream in pleasure,” he told Sam.

“Thanks anyway but we’ll try…I mean when Dean is better we’ll do…” Sam just couldn’t bring himself to say it.

“Thanks but we’d really like to try it on our own the first time at least,” Dean stated.

Sam was a little surprised by Dean’s calm response considering the man had been adamantly against the idea for such a long time.

“Yeah what he said,” Sam said with a shy shrug.

“As you wish my little ones,” Hans agreed.

Willy wasn’t so sure though but reluctantly agreed, “Okay but if you get stuck again you know where we are.”

“We’ll be fine. Quiet night I think,” Sam stood to shake the men’s hands. “Thanks for everything. I mean it.”

“My poor babies, no lovemaking tonight,” Hans prattled as he proceeded to tuck Dean into bed. “Well then you must eat instead. Food will make it all better. Choose whatever you want and we bring it to you. Now look after our boy, he is far too precious to have so much damage.” Hans leaned over and kissed Dean on the top of his head, “Beautiful boy,” he cooed as he sashayed out of the room.

“I mean it call me if you need anything,” Willy stressed as he strutted out of the room after his lover.

“Thanks we will,” Sam called to the retreating men.

Once they were alone Sam waited for the inevitable explosion and it came in record time.

“You told them?” Dean roared.

“Dean you have concussion so calm down.”

“You want me relaxed well then don’t invite strangers into our bedroom. They saw me unconscious and butt naked with my fingers up my ass. How would you feel if it was you jackass? What was so bad about what happened that you couldn’t deal with it privately? How many times have I broken something or been shot or knocked out and you patched me up? What in the world possessed you to get half the gay population of the East Coast involved in? I know we’re new to all this but honestly Sam can you leave me one ounce of dignity before I die?”

And there it was again, Dean’s inability to accept that the bond could save him/them. “For starters you are _not_ going to die. That’s why we’re doing this…” Sam yelled back.

“Well if we don’t hurry up and do it I will die,” Dean reminded him.

Sam tried hard to ignore Dean’s ranting and carried on, “Look your fingers seemed stuck up your ass and I didn’t want to drag them out in case I caused further damage. Dean I simply don’t have any experience with his kind of stuff and I wasn’t about to tear your insides up trying to get your fingers out. So I’m sorry you felt humiliated but I didn’t know what to do but I promise when you feel better I will make it up to you.”

“You bet your ass you will make it up to me; starting with sex. When we finally get to do it and it had better be soon Sam, because my balls are turning blue, you will prepare me and I don’t care how much it bothers you. Just get over it because I wouldn’t still be an ass virgin with dislocated fingers and concussion if you had just stuck your Sasquatch sized fingers up my ass instead of bailing out on me. So you owe me little brother. You owe me big time.”

“Dean…” Sam tried to placate his very pissed off brother.

“Don’t you dare try to talk your way out of this. On the fucked up meter this is huge and you will be paying for it for a long while. Now shut up and get the room service menu. If I can’t have sex then I’m gonna eat my way through the night.”

***************************************************

Sam awoke around 5.30 am to a loud thump and Dean swearing up a storm.

“Dean,” he cried in a panic as he raced to his brother. “What’s wrong?”

“Hit my knee,” Dean grumbled as he hobbled out of the bathroom.

“Why are the lights off?”

“Because I didn’t want to disturb you,” Dean answered with a weary shrug.

Sam helped him to the bed and checked his knee. “You’ll have a bruise.”

“When don’t I have bruises?”

Sam was troubled by how defeated Dean sounded but he understood it. Dean only had thirty five days left on earth and if they didn’t have sex soon then it would be too late to give them a fighting chance of getting Dean out of the deal. In a few weeks Dean’s soul may well be writhing in agony in hell while Sam’s would be shattered because he had lost the most important person in his life.

Sam wished he could make everything right for Dean but so far they had done nothing but argue over the merits of the ‘save Dean plan’ and fuck up trying to put the plan into action. He really didn’t know why it was all so complicated and he could see it was taking a huge toll on Dean, which was the last thing he had ever wanted to happen.

He leaned over to give Dean a gentle “I care kiss’ but before either of them knew what was happening they were locked in an ‘I need you kiss.’

They pulled back from each other, breathless and hopeful; both acknowledging that they wanted this to happen now. There was a real sense that they were moving inexplicably towards completing the bond and both couldn’t have been happier.

“Can you feel it?” Sam whispered as the connection between them grew stronger with every touch of hands or lips.

“Yeah, it’s pulsing,” Dean whispered as he brought Sam in for another searing kiss.

They let the bond guide them and for once they really did let nature take its course.

Dean removed his clothes and lay back on the bed, without question or argument, knees bent and legs opened wide to allow Sam easy access. This time Sam had no concerns. He skillfully and without hesitation made Dean ready and all it took was for Dean to say, “Now” and Sam readied himself at Dean’s puckered entrance.

“I love you,” Sam told him as his cock nudged Dean’s hole.

“Show me.”

Dean didn’t have to ask twice. Sam was more than willing to demonstrate his love. He slowly began to push inside Dean. It was different to anything he had ever experienced before and yet it felt so right. He could see by the look on Dean’s face that it was uncomfortable at least in the beginning but his brother never told him to wait or stop. Instead Dean urged him on by rising up to meet Sam’s thrusts; the silent encouragement proof enough that Dean wanted this just as much as Sam did.

Dean pulled Sam down on top of him, his lips seeking his brother’s. The movement aligned their tattoos, Dean’s on his right hip and Sam’s on his left. As the symbols touched the boys felt the bond vibrate which in turn escalated their need.

Despite wanting to pound into Dean, Sam also wanted to ensure Dean was ready to come with him. So he kept his thrusts long and slow ensuring Dean enjoyed the experience as much as Sam did. However, Dean knew what he wanted and he was more than willing to take anything and everything Sam had to offer.

“Let go,” He told Sam. “Make me yours.”

What choice did Sam have? There was no way he could deny Dean’s request especially since Sam had wanted this for so long and now Dean wanted it too.

Sam began to pound into Dean but for all the desire and energy they were both exuding they never spoke. There was no need for words now; one of the benefits of the bond was being able to sense what the other person was feeling and they could feel it all… the need, the longing and most of all the love.

They surrendered to the magic of the bond and in doing so they spiraled out of control until neither of them knew where one began and the other finished. When both felt they could take no more they came, silent screams of completion and labored breathing heralding that finally their souls were completely united and the intensity of their joining was enough to tip them both over the edge into oblivion.

Dean woke first and despite the dead weight of Sam laying on him, he was reluctant to move his brother. He wanted to enjoy the connection for just a little while longer.

Sam stirred and began to pull out of Dean.

“Wait,” Dean pulled Sam back down on him. “Not yet.”

Sam stilled, smiling at Dean.

“I’m in love with you,” Dean told him as he kissed his brother soundly.

Sam had never seen Dean this happy and his heart swelled at the sight of his brother enjoying a post orgasmic cuddle. Sam returned the kiss with equal enthusiasm, “I love you too.”

Dean’s eyes shone bright, “So we did it,” he said quietly.

“Yeah.”

“I’m happy that we did it,” Dean hurriedly assured Sam.

“So am I. No regrets?” Sam asked unsure as to why it should matter now anyhow since the bond was finally sealed. There was no going back. What they had done would last beyond life. It was forever and they both wanted that.

“No!” Dean emphatically replied. “You?” He asked Sam

“No!” And just to emphasize how happy he was he kissed Dean again. It was a passionate kiss that spoke volumes of love, promise and hope.

Their lips parted and each smiled at the other, content in their special world and hearts strengthened by the fact that they were now together. It was a wonderful moment and then it was over.

Dean winced as his head began to throb.

“Love hurts eh Dean?” Sam laughed.

“No butt sex does. Now get off me you freak,” Dean shoved at his brother playfully.

“You mean out of you,” Sam lazily reminded him as he sucked on Dean’s nipple.

Dean groaned. “Yeah speaking of which, take it easy pulling out. You’re not small.”

“Thanks, you’ll give me a swollen head if you keep saying things like that.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Get out of there now. Man I barely have the energy to breathe let alone go for round two just yet.”

“And I thought you were a stud muffin.”

“Sam, I am a sex god but today I am the one with concussion and right now all I want is for you to get off…out of me. So it’s time for little Sam to leave the building.”

“Shower?” Sam offered as he carefully pulled out of Dean then continued to lay on top of him.

“So you’re not just a pretty face,” Dean teased as he gave Sam a quick kiss. “Now get off me.”

*************************************************

They had fallen into an exhausted sleep after their shower but Sam woke to the sound of a knock at the door. He checked the clock, noting that they had slept through breakfast and it was well on the way to lunch time. He carefully extricated himself from Dean’s embrace, leaving his brother peacefully asleep and went to the door.

“Hi,” he said when he saw Daniel, the doctor from the day before, standing in front of him.

“I said I’d come by to check on Dean,” he reminded Sam who seemed reluctant to let him in.

“Ah…”

“How is he?” Daniel asked.

“Asleep.”

A concerned look crossed Daniel’s face. “That can’t be good. Maybe the concussion was worse than I thought,” he said as he pushed passed Sam and headed towards the bedroom.

“No!” Sam yelled. “I mean he’s fine. He was up earlier and he’s fine. Really he’s fine…”

Daniel stopped and eyed Sam. “Didn’t I tell you he had to rest?”

“We did but that was yesterday and we didn’t do it until this morning,” Sam nervously admitted. “We didn’t plan it, it just happened and he was great…I mean he didn’t indicate he had any problems and he was glowing, happy…”

“I bet he was.”

Sam felt like his face was on fire, “No I mean…”

“It’s okay, I get it but I would still like to see him if you don’t mind.”

“I’ll wake him,” Sam agreed not wanting to get the doc off side.

“Dean?” He called trying to wake the man gently.

“Hey,” Dean pulled Sam to him for a kiss. “I’m ready for round two if you’re interested?” He said lifting the sheet to show Sam his impressive hard on.

“The doctor is here,” Sam hurriedly explained pushing the sheet back down.

“Huh?”

“Daniel, the doctor from yesterday, he’s here to give you a check up.”

Dean blanched but his cock remained happily at attention.

“Sam!” Which was Dean speak for get rid of him.

Before Sam had a chance to react the doctor was there at the door.

“Morning,” Daniel announced cheerily as he entered the room. He had rightly guessed that if he didn’t push the issue he would not get to see his patient at all.

“Hi,” Dean squeaked as he grabbed a spare pillow and placed it over his lap.

“How are you feeling?” Daniel asked.

“Fine,” replied Dean.

“Sleep well?”

Dean blushed, “Yeah. Thanks.”

“Good to hear it but maybe I failed to mention the part where you were supposed to rest?”

“I…”

“And where’s your splint?”

Dean looked at his hand, “Ah…I had a shower…”

“My fault,” Sam interjected. “I forgot to put it back on him after our…his shower.”

“Boys I know what it feels like to be in love okay but you,” he poked Dean “have to look after yourself. You’ve both been beaten up recently and you mister had one hell of day yesterday. Let alone who knows what else has happened to you in the past; judging by some of the scars I saw my guess is you two don’t work in an office. Please don’t make me sedate you because I will if I think you’re not getting the rest your body needs. So I want you to make sure you actually rest.”

“I will,” Dean promised but with so little time left he didn’t want to waste those precious days taking it easy.

“So let’s have a look at you and I want to take some blood just to make sure everything is okay,” he explained as he prepared a needle. “Arm out, make a fist and hold it.”

“Doc I appreciate your concern but I’m okay, really,” Dean told the man while still complying with his commands.

“Hold still this will only take a second,” and before Dean could complain any further Daniel was done. “There you go, all finished. Now let’s look you over,” he said as he tugged on the pillow that lay strategically on Dean’s lap, “Let it go Dean. The sooner I check you out the quicker I’m out of here.”

“Seriously doc. I’m cool. No problems, headache is gone and…”

“Why are you so embarrassed?” Daniel asked.

“Embarrassed,” he snorted “Do I look embarrassed?”

Daniel grabbed the pillow away much to Dean’s horror and Sam’s amusement. “Well you look just fine,” the doc teased as Dean’s cock tented the sheet now that the pillow wasn’t there to keep it in check.

“Fine have a good laugh,” Dean sulked as his cock finally decided to wilt from the sheer humiliation of it all.

“It’s a normal reaction and I’m a doctor.”

“A gay doctor…”

“Who is trying to treat his gay patient! Now any problems I need to know about while I’m here?”

“Does the fact that you can park a bus in my ass constitute a problem?” grumbled Dean.

Daniel burst out laughing, “You really are new to this aren’t you. Welcome the world of bottoms but don’t worry you’ll get used to it. Any problems though from your little adventure this morning? Blood? Pain?”

“No!” They both answered him a little too quickly.

“Hmm. Okay but take it slowly and use plenty of lube. Make sure he is well stretched and don’t do anything too adventurous just yet,” he told Sam. “Dean needs to get used to it all and by the look of you Sam, you are probably a little oversized so you don’t want to hurt him...”

“Stop! Stop right there.” Dean shouted. “Sam’s head, both of them, don’t need to get any bigger and yeah _we_ hear ya doc. We’ll do it properly,” Dean stressed as he looked at his very smug little brother.

“Well you know where I am if you need me and Dean, make sure you get that splint back on those fingers. Now unless you do further damage to yourselves I will give you a final check up when you leave. That okay with you guys?”

“It’s a deal,” Dean happily replied.

“Well I’ll leave you to enjoy your honeymoon.”

“Great. I mean thanks,” Dean just wanted to be left alone with Sam. “See ya ‘round.”

“I doubt it but don’t forget, man can’t live by sex alone,” he called over his shoulder as he left the suite.

“I don’t know you pack some pretty impressive meat there Sammy.”

“It’s Sam”

“No it’s mine,” Dean told him as he pulled his brother on to the bed.

*************************************************************

 

  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Four Weeks  
Part 9**

It was harder to say goodbye to everyone at the inn than Dean had thought it would be. He was a man who rarely formed attachments yet these people with their gentle and somewhat eccentric habits had wheedled their way into his life and now as he was about to leave, he was struggling to let go. His decision to sleep with Sam had been monumental but the easy and accepting ways of the gay establishment had at least allowed Dean to revel in being with Sam without other prejudices getting in the way.

For seven wonderful days everything had been perfect if you ignore the concussion and other minor hiccups. The past week had brought the boys closer than ever. They literally had had the time of their lives and Dean didn’t want it to ever end. The sex was great, they did everything bar horse back riding, seems there was some problem in the stables but they didn’t care because Dean rode Sam and that was so much better. For just a short while they were carefree young lovers and Dean had never dreamt in his life that he could feel so connected and so happy and yet today he felt so afraid.

Despite having these fantastic memories he had begun to believe that they would have to sustain him during his eternity of torture in hell. You see Dean totally accepted that the bond was in place, signed, sealed and delivered but he just had this feeling that they had missed something. He couldn’t put a finger on it but he just knew that with his luck he would be the one paying the price. No matter how often he tried to rationalize his feelings by telling himself that he was letting the fear of that final confrontation get to him, the fact was, every so often an uneasy feeling swept over him through the bond and he wondered whether he was picking up Sam’s apprehension or if it was Sam picking up on his and worrying about it. Either way as he stood there saying his goodbyes he wasn’t a happy camper, although outwardly he looked no different to any other time during his stay there.

Sam was so happy about their future and Dean didn’t have the heart to burst his brother’s rainbow bubble by expressing his deepest concerns. However Dean knew that the only thing that would make this feeling go away was getting the contract day out of the way so they could get on with their lives. Still, Dean was worried about Sam if it did go pear shaped and he ended up dying.

As he watched his brother happily embracing their new found friends he wondered if he should suggest to Sam that after, if things go wrong, Sam should come back here. Maybe Daniel would comfort Sam; maybe life wouldn’t be so bad if his brother had someplace other than the Impala to go to when Dean was laid to rest. Yes it was something he might have to bring up with Sam before that day.

“My beautiful boy,” Hans cried as he dragged Dean into a tight embrace. “Come back. You must come back. The world is too cruel a place for the likes of you,” he told Dean in between sobs. “Don’t go,” he begged. “Don’t go!”

Dean didn’t know what to say. How do you tell someone that they might never see you again because you had made a deal with a demon and potentially had four weeks to live?

“I…I…”

Sam came to Dean’s rescue. “We’ll be back.” he assured the weeping manager. “But I guess you’ll be pretty booked out over the summer; might have to wait ‘til the fall.”

“Actually we’ll have plenty of room,” Willy informed him.

“Really? Umm that’s great,” Sam was surprised that the place wasn’t running at full capacity during the height of the season. Still he loved the idea of being able to come back again.

Another wave of uncertainty swept over Dean and he looked at Sam trying to work out what was wrong but outwardly Sam did not show any signs, he looked the same.

“Okay then, we’ll be back. We have a few things to get out of the way but yeah we’d love to come back through in a few months. I’ll give you a call around the end of June. We may even be back in time to share the 4th of July if you like,” Sam suggested.

“Yes! Yes! Marvelous idea. Hans would be very happy to know that you won’t desert us,” Hans sniffed.

While Sam endured another round of cuddles and hugs, Daniel came over to Dean. “You okay?” He asked the hunter.

“Absolutely,” but Dean didn’t look Daniel in the eye.

“Bullshit,” the doctor challenged quietly as he pulled Dean into a hug. “I’m not sure what’s going on but my gut tells me you’re not fine. Here,” he slipped his card into Dean’s back pocket. “If you or Sam ever need me, just call, day or night. I’ll always be available to help.”

Dean didn’t know how to respond. He wasn’t used to being hugged by anyone other than Sam. Still, Daniel had been good to him so he did a very un-Dean like thing; he hugged the doctor back. “I’m not gay Danny,” he stated even though he held on fiercely to the other man.

Daniel laughed, “Sure you are.” He let go of Dean, tenderly stroked his cheek and wished him all the best.

“Thanks,” Dean replied as he quickly climbed into the car and resolutely stared straight ahead.

Daniel was left feeling apprehensive. He wasn’t sure what was wrong but there was just something a bit off in Dean’s manner. Every fiber in Daniel’s being told him that there was something seriously troubling the man and he was sure it wasn’t just a case of post wedding blues.

*****************************************

“So where to next?” Dean asked as they pulled out on to the highway.

“I don’t know. What about Bobby’s place?” Sam suggested.

“As good a place as any. Let’s go.”

They filled in that last month doing odd jobs around Bobby’s place. Sam was happy that they were out of the game; he really hadn’t wanted Dean to be hunting up to the last day just in case…well in case Dean got hurt. Lord knows Dean’s dislocated fingers were still healing and Sam wanted him at peak fitness when they faced down the hell hounds.

Their sex life had slowed a little but not dramatically. It was more a case of doing the nasty without Bobby finding out. The last thing they needed was to spend a month discussing the moral and legal implications of adult, incestual, consensual, gay sex. It made Dean’s head spin just thinking about it but more importantly he wanted Bobby on side when they tackled the hell hounds not ranting in his ear about the evils of having sex with his brother.

As the days passed Dean’s uneasiness grew. More and more he could sense Sam’s fear until one night as they lay entwined in bed he confronted his brother about his concerns.

“Dude what gives? You nagged me to get the bond sealed, ya tell me morning, noon and night that it will be my salvation and now when we are days out from crunch time you’re having doubts. What’s going on with you?”

“What are you talking about? I’m not having doubts,” Sam assured his brother. “We have the marks, we have the bond and we have great sex. I think we have it covered Dean.”

“Then why do I keep sensing you’re worried? I can feel it Sam. It hits me sometimes and I look at you and you seem to be lost in thought and I can’t help wonder if you’re stressing all of this. It’s really starting to freak me out. Maybe I should have chased down Bela, tried to get the colt back because I am beginning to think we are crazy going into this without a back up plan?”

“We don’t need a backup but if you really want one maybe we could talk to Ruby.”

“No way am I asking that demon bitch for help. No. If you say we don’t need it, then fine we don’t need it.”

“Okay and as for you feeling my concern, well I can feel yours too remember. It works both ways and it makes sense. I think we’re both a little edgy about what’s coming up. It’s not that I think it will all go wrong it’s just that it’s a little daunting for me that I might have to actually play this big bad ‘I could be your leader’ if we get challenged over them wanting you. Believe me; I have no doubts at all that our bond will save us. It’s rock solid. Everything we have done has ensured we are going to be one very happy couple in a few weeks time. So please Dean, trust me. The bond is good, we’re good and we’ll get through this. Whatever it takes, we’ll get through it.”

*********************************

 

  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Two Weeks**

Sam’s reassurances didn’t help Dean at all and a sense of foreboding enveloped him. Now more than ever he wished he had tracked down Bela. They heard on the hunting grapevine that she had popped up in Vermont. Unfortunately Vermont was a long way from Bobby’s place and there was no guarantee that she would still be there by the time they arrived. So just because he could and it made him feel better, Dean rang Bela and left a scathing message about her underhanded, selfish ways and that he hoped she had a short and miserable life. He must have hit a nerve because later that night she returned his call.

“I made a deal Dean, ten years ago today,” she informed him.

“Is that why you stole the colt huh? Trying to wiggle out of the deal. Our gun for your soul?” Dean asked her.

“Yes.”

“But stealing the colt wasn’t quite enough I’m guessing,” Dean knew demons and he figured there was more to this than just wanting the gun.

“They changed the deal. They wanted me to kill Sam.”

Disdain dripped from every word as he said, “Really! Wow! Demons untrustworthy. Shocker!”

“Dean listen I need help,” she pleaded.

“Sweetheart we are weeks past help.” And he meant it, as much for himself as for her.

“I know I don’t deserve it…”

“You know, you’re right; you don’t… but you know the bitch of the bunch is, if you had just come to us sooner and asked for our help we probably could have taken the colt and saved you,” he snarled, his frustration over her actions boiling over.

She sobbed as she realized her fate was sealed. “I know and saved yourself. I know about your deal Dean.”

“And who told you that.”

“The demon that holds it. She holds mine too. She said she holds every ones.”

“She?” Dean questioned.

“Her name’s Lilith.”

Dean looked at Sam who had been trying to pull together what was going on even though he could only hear half the conversation.

“Lilith!” Dean shouted.

Sam sat up clearly concerned by this turn of events.

For his part, Dean was furious. He should have realized the demon queen herself would have been involved in all this somehow.

“Why should I believe you?” he asked Bela.

“You shouldn’t but it’s the truth,” she assured him through her tears.

“This can’t help you Bela, not now. Why are you telling me this?”

“Because maybe you can kill the bitch,” she emphasized.

“Trying to save your soul with one good deed Bela? They do say that hell is paved with good intentions but sweetheart I think you’re a little too late to turn things around.”

Bela knew her time was up. “Dean…” she cried as the hell hounds bayed in the distance but Dean heard them too and the sound sent a chill down his spine.

“I’ll see you in hell,” he half whispered as he hung up.

“Dean?” Sam pulled the man into his embrace. “It doesn’t matter who holds the contract. It just means we go in with a bit more information up our sleeve. We know Lilith, we know what she is capable of and we know she has been after me. This is our chance, once and for all to end it. No deal, no demons, just you and me forever.”

“We won’t have the colt Sammy.”

“We won’t need it. Trust me. It will be alright.”

“I got a week left Sam…”

“No you have a week until we meet with Lilith then we get on with our lives. Don’t doubt everything now Dean because in a week we’ll be celebrating. You do believe in it don’t you Dean?” Sam asked his voice serious and his eyes wide with concern.

“Believe in what Sammy?”

“Magic? The bond?”

“Do you want me to believe?” Dean asked his brother like he had a thousand times before.

“Yes,” Sam told him emphatically.

“Why?” Dean was struck by how important it all seemed to Sam.

Sam pulled Dean down to lie next to him with all sincerity simply said, “Because it makes us special.”

Dean smiled, “You got that right. Yeah Sammy I believe.”

“No you don’t,” Sam contested.

“Yeah I do,” Dean replied wanting to nip the conversation in the bud.

“You always do that.”

“Do what?” Dean asked a hint of frustration in his tone.

“Tell me what you think I want to hear but you’re forgetting the bond. I can sense your moods. I know when you are lying and that was a lie. You still don’t believe in the bond.”

“Sammy it’s late. I’m fucked and I want to sleep. Can we please not do this now?” Although he knew Sam would not let go of it that easily.

“Why is it so hard for you to trust that we have done everything required to ensure you survive?”

“Don’t Sam.”

“Don’t what Dean? Don’t discuss it? Don’t save you? Don’t what? You just need to trust in the bond because I can tell you right now things won’t end with you bleeding to death on the ground.”

“Quit with the ‘trust the bond crap.’ I accept that it exists, so get off my case.”

“But you don’t believe it has the power to save you, do you?”

“Fine you want the truth? Yes I believe in it and yes I think it is powerful enough to save me but what I can’t understand is that for weeks I have been feeling you worry over it and yet you tell me it’s just performance jitters. Sam if you think this is gonna fail you need to tell me. I need to know what I’m up against man and I need to know that you’ve got my back.”

“Dean I am right there with you man every step of the way. I love you and I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”

“Sam…”

“Dean nothing is gonna happen to you.”

“Hear me out. If it goes wrong promise me that you’ll go back to the inn; they would take care of you. You might even meet a nice guy; someone like Daniel,” he twisted out of Sam’s arms to grab his wallet. “Here take this,” he said as he pulled out Daniel’s card. “He gave it to me the day we left. Promise that if it goes wrong you’ll call him. You don’t have to be alone for the rest of your life Sam. I would rather know that you are with people who care about you and for whatever reason that lot seemed to care more than anyone I have ever met. Promise me you won’t become a hard-hearted lonely hunter. It’s not who you are Sammy. You need people around you let them help okay.”

Sam pulled Dean close to him. “I promise you that I will never leave you. That we will be together forever and no matter what happens it will be you and me against the bad guys. If we fail, which I know we won’t but if something did go wrong, then we go down together. That’s what being bonded is all about. It’s about never having to be alone again. So thank you for the offer to live out my days with the doc or some other hunky gay boy but the only gay boy I want is you.” and he proceeded to show Dean just how much the man meant to him.

*********************************

The next morning Dean felt rejuvenated. The fear that had been hanging over him was gone as he whistled his way into the kitchen to greet Sam and Bobby.

“Well aren’t we just the little ray of sunshine,” growled Bobby.

“Bad night Bobby?” Sam asked as he made a pot of coffee.

“Dean’s nightmare kept me awake.”

“I don’t have nightmares,” Dean pointed out, “well not last night anyway.”

Sam rolled his eyes at Dean. Surely his brother just couldn’t be that thick.

“Yeah well what ever the hell it was you were doing then, next time do it in the shower,” he muttered as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

Dean’s eyes grew wide as Bobby went on to relay hearing him moan and groan for what seemed like hours.

“I did?” Dean squeaked.

Sam cautioned Dean to agree with head nods and raised eyebrows.

“Wow did I? Sorry, bad dream,” Dean mumbled.

“Don’t know how you can sleep through that racket Sam. It was getting to the stage that I was gonna come in there and wake ya up Dean but I guess ya got a lot on your mind,” he pondered as he buttered a piece of toast.

“I’ve just grown accustomed to it Bobby,” Sam casually explained. “Comes from sharing a room since we was kids.”

“Maybe but if I hear it again the two of you are moving to the guest room.”

“I thought we were in the guest room,” Dean pointed out.

“The other guest room, the one out in the tool shed,” dead panned Bobby.

“Oh. Got ya. No more nightmares. Right,” Dean agreed as he hastily tucked into some breakfast cereal.

“Now that that’s out of the way. I need you boys to go into town and pick up supplies.” He slapped a list and some money on the table. “That should see us through to next week.”

*************************************

It felt good to be doing mundane stuff like shopping and it wasn’t until they reached the check out that Dean reassessed whether it had been such a good idea to leave Bobby’s. The young girl at the checkout tallied their purchases and waited for Dean to pay except he didn’t. He was rooted to the spot because the pretty blonde’s face distorted into something ugly and demonic.

“Sir that’ll be $25,” she repeated in case he hadn’t heard her the first time.

Sam didn’t understand what had happened but was a little disconcerted to see his brother was blatantly staring at the barely legal bimbo while his lover stood next to him.

“Dean,” Sam poked him in the side.

Dean snapped out of it, “What?” he asked confused by Sam’s actions.

“Pay the girl.” Sam prompted.

“What?” Dean was still coming to grips with his vision.

Sam grabbed Dean’s wallet from his hands, handed the girl the bills, grabbed the shopping with one hand and Dean with the other and hauled them all outside.

“Dude, back off. What is your problem?” Dean was more than a little put out at being man handled by his brother.

“You’re my problem. Bad enough that you wanted to fuck her but to stand there and drool at the check out. That’s just gross Dean.”

“I didn’t want to fuck her.”

“I felt your surprise when you looked at her. Yeah she was pretty but she didn’t warrant the full on open-mouthed slobber. Really dude I thought we had got passed all that. We’re bonded so that’s like being married. Fidelity goes a long way you know. The rules are simple you can look but you can’t touch and openly drooling, ogling and flirting are off the menu. You got that?”

“My, aren’t we Little Miss Pissy this morning?” snapped Dean.

“Shut up Dean.”

“No you shut up Samantha.”

“Get in the car.”

“Bitch.”

“Jerk.”

*************************************************************

 

  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Thirty Hours  
Part 10**

If someone had asked Dean what he expected to be doing the day before the hell hounds turned up, he seriously doubted that the answer would have been trying to find a back up plan to save his ass but that’s exactly what he was now doing. The constant waves of fear and other emotions through the bond over the previous weeks had seriously eroded his confidence to the point that he doubted he would survive a minute past midnight.

Indeed this last week had exacted a heavy toll on Dean. At nights he lay awake thinking through alternative plans in case the bond wasn’t enough and his days were filled with researching hell hounds and deals with the devil. Sex was gone, sleep was almost non-existent and thirty hours out saw Dean bone weary and shit scared, although he would never admit either to Sam or Bobby.

Sam wandered into the room to talk to Dean, to reassure him actually, only to discover that his brother had fallen into an exhausted sleep at the desk. Sam was reluctant to wake him even though it wasn’t the most comfortable of positions because he knew how little rest Dean had managed lately. So he stood there wondering what he could do to make it all better for Dean and all he could come up with was ‘let him sleep.’

Sleep was something Dean had tried to avoid because more often than not he awoke breathless or screaming or both. He never told Sam what was happening to him but then he didn’t need to; Sam could feel it. Just as Dean had sensed fear and worry from Sam weeks earlier; Sam could now sense desperation and hopelessness from Dean. All he could do was hold Dean and tell him that everything would be okay but now as the day drew closer Dean seemed to distance himself from his brother or at least from the physical comfort Sam tried to offer.

So while Sam had no intention of waking Dean unfortunately it wasn’t his choice. Dean suddenly jolted awake and from the look on his face he had endured yet another nightmare.

Sam plied a smile on his own face as he walked into the room, “Dig up anything good?” he asked casually; pretending that Dean didn’t look like the deer in the headlights right now.

“No, nothing good,” Dean responded, as he slammed the book shut; the memory of being chased by the hell hound too real to be passed off as a sleep terror.

“Well Bobby has found a way to find Lilith,” Sam replied happily.

“Wow. With just thirty hours to go.” Dean hadn’t meant it to sound sarcastic but it came out that way. Still he didn’t feel the need to apologize either since he was the one about to die.

Sam understood. “We’re cutting it close I know,” he said as he sat down next to Dean. “But we’re gonna get this done. I don’t care what it takes, Dean. You’re not gonna go to hell. I’m not gonna let you. I swear. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

Dean wanted to believe Sam, he really did but as Sam spoke words of encouragement Dean watched his brother’s face contort into something horrible, demonic. That had been going on for a while now. He didn’t know what was happening, whether they were visions or manifestations or just demonic shit to put the wind up him but whatever they were, they were scaring him to death.

So instead of telling Sam what had just happened Dean just gave an imperceptible nod and said, “Yeah, okay,” because Dean believed Sam needed to think his big brother was actually okay.

*************************************

Once Bobby did his thing, they knew where Lilith was. “New Harmony, Indiana,” Bobby announced. “Looks like we have a winner.”

“Alright, let’s go,” said Sam as he began packing their bags. From his point of view the sooner they got started the sooner it was all over.

“No, back it up there flash. Let’s not get carried away here,” insisted Dean.

Sam stopped dead in his tracks. “You’re kidding right? We know who we’re dealing with and where she is, so what’s the problem?” Sam couldn’t believe that after all they had done to get to this point Dean was now hesitating.

“What’s the problem?” Dean yelled. “Well where do I begin? First of all, we don’t even know if Lilith holds my deal, we’re going off of Bela’s intel. Now when that bitch breathes, the air comes out crooked. Second, even if we could get to Lilith, we have no way to gank her. And third, isn’t this the same Lilith that wants your giant head on a pike? Should I continue?”

“Well ain’t you just bringing down the mood,” growled Bobby sarcastically.

Dean shrugged, “It’s a gift.”

Sam’s frustration overflowed. “I’m sorry, so what are we supposed to do?”

“Well just ‘cause I gotta die doesn’t mean you have to – either we go in smart, or we don’t go in at all,” Dean angrily declared.

“We’ve been through this Dean. You’re not gonna die.”

“Sorry Sammy but we have blind faith and no back up plan. It ain’t a lot against a she-devil with delusions of grandeur.”

“Well if that’s the case, then I have the answer.” Sam knew what they had to do but he also knew this would be a battle.

“You do?” said Dean flatly.

Sam nodded. “I have a sure fire way to confirm its Lilith and to get us a bona-fide demon killing Ginsu,” he explained excitedly.

“Damn it Sam, no!” Snapped Dean.

“Dean we are so past arguing. I’m summoning Ruby.” The time had come to do something and if Dean wouldn’t go to New Harmony them the next best thing to do was to talk to Ruby so they knew where they stood. Sam knew it; Bobby knew it so why couldn’t Dean see it?

“The hell you are!” Dean yelled as he paced back and forth. “We got enough problems as it is!”

“Exactly and we’ve got no time and no choice either,” stressed Sam.

“Come on man, she is the Miss Universe of lying skanks, okay? She told you she could save me. Lie! She seems to know everything about Lilith, but forgot to mention – oh right, Lilith owns my soul!” Dean was shouting at the top of his voice as a year’s worth of rage and frustration burst its way out of his system.

Sam couldn’t deny Dean was right but Ruby’s dishonesty was not what Sam wanted to talk to her about. “Okay so she’s a liar but she still has the knife Dean. A demon killing blade and we need it.”

Bobby agreed, “Dean…” he started to say.

Dean held up his hands telling them both to back off. “No. For all we know, she probably works for Lilith!”

“Then give me another option, Dean!” Sam argued back. “I mean, tell me what else to do. You want more information but you won’t let me talk to Ruby. You want a back up plan since we don’t have the colt but you won’t let me get Ruby’s knife. Come on man give me something because the clock’s ticking.”

“Dean, Sam’s right,” Bobby chimed in.

“No, damn it!” Dean threw his hand in the air in despair. “No...okay! Just no! We are not gonna make the same mistakes all over again. You guys wanna save me, find something else.”

Dean walked back to the desk and sat down wearily. He was falling apart and he knew it. His fear was getting the better of him and right now he didn’t know what to do and who to trust. Sam said trust the bond but even that seemed fragile as the ripples of anxiety had turned into waves of fear and he no longer knew whether he was making Sam nervous or whether there was some problem that he wasn’t picking up on. Either way he was just a few hours away from almost certain death and he didn’t know what to do stop, what he saw as the inevitable, from happening.

Sam understood his brother’s concern but sitting here doing nothing was just plain ludicrous. So since Dean seemed beyond reasoning, Sam left him alone to wallow in his self-doubt while he worked on pursuing possible alternatives.

*************************************

Dean may have ordered Sam not to summon Ruby but Sam knew they had no choice. It was one of those ‘lesser of two evil’ situations. Bottom line was Dean wanted a back up plan and since they didn’t have the colt then Sam could see that Ruby’s knife was the only suitable alternative.

Sam had no sooner called her and there she was. Her sudden appearance startled him but he was determined to control their meeting. The situation was too crucial to let her take over but as usual he lost out on the ‘taking control’ thing. She took over and he felt like he was nothing more than a whining kid. ‘Give me your knife?’ ‘No.” Okay so what was he to do now?

Things took a steep down turn when Ruby started insisting that Sam activate his powers. The issue of his abilities had always been a point of contention between him and Dean and the last thing he wanted to do was rile Dean up any further when they were already time critical and needing a united front. However none of that mattered to Ruby as she tried to manipulate him into doing the very thing that he and Dean had been fighting against for so long.

“You don’t like being different,” she informed him but he was loathe to admit to her that’s how he felt. “You hate the way Dean looks at you sometimes, like your some sort of sideshow freak but your powers are what will save Dean and kill Lilith. I can show you how…”

“Oh look it’s our slutty little Yoda,” snarled Dean as he entered the room.

The fact that he disliked her was plainly evident although Sam felt the feeling was probably mutual.

“Dean, charming as ever,” Ruby replied, although by the tone of her voice she was less than pleased to cross his path.

“I knew you’d show up because I knew Sam wouldn’t listen. Why is that Sam? Why can’t you just leave well enough alone?”

“Dean…”

“Rhetorical question Sammy and as for you princess you’re not gonna teach him anything.”

And that old saying of ‘thems fighting words’ rang out around the world as the verbal slanging match disintegrated into a full on knock ‘em down shootin’ match. By the time the dust settled Sam was left mending his bruised body and battered ego, Ruby was ensnared under a devil’s trap and a smug Dean was carrying Ruby’s knife upstairs.

“You’re too stupid to live,” she shouted after him.

“And too stubborn to die,” Dean yelled back at her as he trudged up the stairs.

***********************************

 

  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Eighteen Hours**

“What if Ruby is right? What if I can take out Lilith?” Sam asked Dean as they contemplated their options.

“Sam you don’t want anything that bitch is offering.”

“Look Dean I don’t know what Ruby meant but maybe we should just go talk to her.”

“Sam you wanted the knife, I got you the knife.”

“One little knife hardly seems enough when all Lilith has to do is snap her fingers and thirty demons will be on our asses.”

“No Sam you know where that road is heading…”

“Dean this is me I can handle it and if it ensures you live…”

Dean sat back and stared at Sam intently. “I thought that’s what the bond was supposed to do?” Dean glared at Sam daring him to tell him something different.

“It does but I want to cover all our bases here man,” Sam assured him. “You said it yourself, that we go in smart or we don’t go in at all.”

“Why even risk it Sam. If I survive using the bond alone then we have a clean slate. Activate your powers and we’ll always be fighting some damned demon. When I wanna take a holiday man I don’t want to go to the pit but that’s exactly what will happen if you turn that stuff on. Look, we have no idea what agenda Ruby has and for all we know it may have nothing to do with you being a leader and everything to do her trying to take control down there. Let it go man, just let it go.”

“Dean…” Sam pleaded.

“Sammy all I’m saying is that you’re my weak spot and I’m yours.”

“You don’t mean that. We’re family, lovers. I’d do anything for you.”

“I know and those evil sons of bitches know it too. What we’ll do for each other, how far we’ll go. Look what we’ve done already Sam. They’re using that against us. Don’t fall into their hands by listening to Ruby.”

“So what, we just stop looking out for each other? You know we can’t do that Dean. The bond binds us. We could never stop caring about each other. Heck we couldn’t do that even without the bond.”

“Sam I don’t want us to stop watching out for each other but we have to stop being martyrs, stop spreading it for these demons. So we take this knife and we go after Lilith our way; the way Dad taught us to and if we go down, we go down swinging. What’d ya think?”

“I think you’re channeling _Eye of the Tiger,_ ” Sam joked easing the tension a little.

“I totally rehearsed that speech,” laughed Dean. “So little brother all I have to say is ‘Bite me!’”

“Later,” Sam replied with a wink.

Dean nodded. “Time for that after…” but his words didn’t match his feelings and Sam knew beyond the shadow of doubt that Dean didn’t think there would be an after for him.

Sam pulled Dean to him, “I love you,” he whispered as he kissed Dean’s brow.

Dean cupped Sam cheek, “I know.”

“Dean tomorrow we’ll laugh about all this,” Sam tried to reassure his brother.

Dean looked away, “Tomorrow…” the word died on his lips. “We better hit the road,” he said instead. “Get your things.”

They headed out to the car, both determined to do this their way. It was their fight and no-one else’s but they had seriously underestimated Bobby’s determination to be there at the end.

“Do I look like a ditchable prom date?” he ranted.

“This is not you’re fight Bobby,” Dean tried to explain.

The older man had his own ideas on how this should go down and he wasn’t about to be left behind hoping the boys survived the showdown. “To hell it isn’t. Family don’t end with blood boy. Besides you need me.”

“Bobby…” Dean was worried enough about Sam but dragging Bobby into this was just courting disaster.

Bobby wasn’t having a committee meeting over this. “You’re playing wounded.” He stated smugly. “Tell me, how many hallucinations have you had so far?”

Sam’s eyes grew wide as he stared at Dean. _More secrets!_ he thought as he wondered how long Dean had been struggling with this new development.

“How’d you know,” Dean asked Bobby.

“Because that’s what happens when ya have hell hounds on ya butt.”

Dean could feel Sam’s eyes on him as he climbed into the car but he really didn’t want to discuss this anymore. Life was too short, literally and he would rather go out happy than fighting with his brother.

“Dean,” Sam started to say but Dean cut him off.

“Can we talk about his later?”

“Do you even believe there’ll be a later Dean?”

“Sam,” he sighed. “Okay I admit it. I running scared but I still believe in us and what we have. It’s just…”

“It’s just what?” Sam prompted.

“It’s D Day Sammy. All the stuff we talked about and the stuff we did to stop this from happening well the day is finally here and…”

Sam put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, “Its okay Dean I get it. I understand that you have doubts but I’m begging you just believe in the bond and everything will be alright. I’m right here beside you. Don’t let the doubts get in your way.”

“I appreciate what you’re saying man but…” Dean seemed to be about to say something pivotal. “Sammy if this is my last day on earth I do not want it to be socially awkward. What I do want is this,” he said as he turned up the music. “Sing with me Sammy”

The sound of two voices singing _Dead or Alive_ , off key, filled the air as they drove down the highway to hell.

*************************************************************

 

  
**Hell Hounds Calling in Thirty Minutes  
Part 11**

They discovered that Lilith had gone to New Harmony, Indiana for a holiday. This tiny town, that had been long renowned as a place of inner peace and self fulfillment, had been turned into an outpost from hell. She had barricaded herself in a suburban home on an average street and her idea of a vacation was to possess a small girl and go on a rampage that left a family terrorized and bodies strewn all about. It was in the midst of this melee that Sam and Dean were to have the face-off of their lives.

The boys went over the facts. They had a new but strong bond. They knew it linked them beyond this mortal life and they knew that Lilith had no choice but to call off the deal because of it. Let’s face it Lilith couldn’t risk Sam running riot in hell and destroying her megalomaniac intentions if she tried to take Dean to the pit.

So the whole point of the confrontation with Lilith was to break Dean’s deal, killing her would be a bonus but not essential. All the boys wanted was a future free of pesky demons and this was the only way to ensure they would get it. They thought they had covered everything: Dean wouldn’t die, Lilith would be either shooed away or killed whichever was the easiest and the day would end which much celebration and lots of sex. It was all very black and white. They just needed to stay united and Lilith had to back off or risk everything.

Of course they weren’t foolish enough to go in without back up plans, they were hunters after all. They had the demon killing knife and they also planned to neutralize the demons surrounding the house so that the only thing they had to focus on was Lilith. Okay so the back up plans were basic bordering on primitive but at least they had something up their sleeve.

However even the best laid plans often go awry between the idea and the implementation. That night in New Harmony was no exception. The first glitch came in the form of one pissed off demon that had escaped the devil’s trap and was now bitching about stolen property and idiot humans.

“Where’s my knife?” Ruby demanded as she pressed Dean up against the wire fence. “Give it to me or I’ll snap your neck like a chicken wing.”

“He doesn’t have it,” Sam growled as he held the blade to her throat. “Now let him go.”

Ruby at least knew when to leave well enough alone but she couldn’t resist a final dig. “That knife won’t help you Sam. It’s too late. He’s going to die and you’re going to be flayed alive.”

“Don’t count on it,” Sam told her. “Now you can either come with us or stay here but if you walk through that door I expect you to be on our side or you will be the first one I cut down and Ruby, don’t touch my brother again.”

Dean grinned, he loved it when Sam went all Tarzan over him and any chance to see Ruby put in her place made for a good day. So Dean was feeling pretty upbeat right now even if he did have concerns about how all this would play out.

It was once they entered the house that things started to unravel. Lilith had left the child and was now loose in the house; at least they thought she must still be there. The three of them split up, cautiously searching room after room as it seemed unlikely that she would leave before she collected Dean’s soul and had Sam dying at her demonic feet.

“Can’t find her,” Ruby reported as she hurriedly returned to Sam.

Sam looked at the clock. Five minutes until midnight. The panic began to rise and although he knew he should trust the bond suddenly that didn’t seem nearly enough to ensure his brother would survive the night.

“Okay you win,” he breathlessly told her. “What do I have to do?”

“What do you mean?” She replied clearly confused by the question.

“What do you need me to do to save Dean?”

Dean had been searching another part of the house and suddenly he was hit by a wave of nausea; _the bond, Sam_. He ran down the hall just in time to hear Sam pleading for Ruby’s help.

“Sam what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Dean screamed as he tried to drag Sam away from Ruby.

“Just shut up for a second,” Sam yelled as he threw off Dean’s arms. “Ruby?” he called wanting to hear her answer.

Ruby shook her head, “You had your chance. You just can’t flip a switch. We needed time.”

“There’s gotta be something,” he reasoned. “There’s gotta be some way. Whatever it is I’ll do it.”

Dean grabbed him again but Sam turned on his brother, desperate and afraid, “Don’t Dean! Don’t! I’m not gonna let you go to hell,” Sam cried.

“Sam we have a plan man,” Dean tried to tell him but Sam was so wound up he wasn’t about to listen.

“No Dean I’m not gonna let you go to hell.”

Dean pulled him around to face him, “Yes you are,” he shouted and then he saw it; as he looked into Sam’s eyes he realized that what he had been feeling for a while now but had been unable to define, was that Sam didn’t believe that the bond would be enough. He couldn’t blame Sam for wanting to give it a try and heck they had had the time of their life the last few months but they had waited too long and the bond simply wasn’t strong enough against the power of Lilith. So for all that the bond could do, saving Dean was not one of them; he knew that now. “Hey,” he shouted to get Sam’s attention. “Come on. It’s okay Sam. It’s okay.”

“Dean I can’t let you die…” he said brokenly.

“Yes you can,” Dean told him quietly. “If it comes to it yes you can and you will. I’m sorry. I mean, this is my fault, maybe if I had agreed to everything earlier.” He shook his head briefly wondering if they had screwed around for a year instead of a few weeks would they have had a better chance. Really didn’t matter now though; what was done was done and they/he had to face the consequences. “Look I know what you’re trying to do but it’s not gonna save me. It’s only going to kill you and Sammy that’s not what I want.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?”

“Keep fighting. Take care of my wheels. Sam remember what Dad taught you and remember what I taught you?”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed, his eyes filling with tears as he held onto every word Dean spoke.

“What we had it was perfect and don’t you ever forget how good it was but move on Sam. You know what you have to do and this isn’t it okay?”

“Dean…”

But before Sam could finish what he was saying the clock tolled midnight and the hell hound dutifully appeared ready to retrieve Dean’s wayward soul.

******************************************

 

  
**All Hell Breaks Loose**

Sam couldn’t see the hell hound but he could feel his brother’s absolute terror as Dean, overwhelmed with fear, nodded towards where the creature was standing.

For a few seconds Dean weighed up his options and then he yelled “run” as he led them away from the beast.

The fight or flight instinct was a powerful survival mechanism and Dean was grateful for it, especially when facing the hell hound. His first instinct was definitely not ‘I hope the bond is strong enough’ but ‘run from for your mortal life’ and no amount of ‘trusting the bond’ was going to let him stand there and see if the damn thing wanted to lick his hand or devour it.

They locked themselves in a room at the end of the hall and lined the window and door with goober dust to keep the hound out. Even though he believed the bond wouldn’t save him, Dean couldn’t help but wonder why it didn’t slow the damn thing down, at least a little bit but he wasn’t about to open the door to test the strength of the bond, especially after seeing how nervous Sam was about it.

“Give me the knife maybe I can fight it off,” Ruby informed Sam. “I have a better chance of getting near it than you do.”

Sam was surprised at her offer but he reasoned that it made sense. After all it would be better for a demon to fight the thing than for him to do it. At least she could see it which is more than he could do.

He lifted the weapon, eyed it for a second and held it out to her.

“Wait” shouted Dean his voice filled with fear and urgency. “That’s not Ruby. Sam it’s not Ruby,”

Sam raised the weapon, ready to strike her but it was too late. One minute he seemed to have the upper hand and the next he was pinned against the wall, the knife fell unused to the floor, and Dean ended up pinned to the table. The bitch of it all was that when they had looked at different scenarios about how this night might go down; being pinned to the nearest flat surface by the personification of evil had not been part of their calculations.

“You can see me?” Lilith asked Dean as she ran a hand along his thigh.

“I’m a man of many talents,” he said trying to sound in control considering his vulnerable position. “But yeah one of my many new abilities is being able to see the face of evil and you are one ugly broad. A heap uglier than Ruby and she was…well ugly. How long have you been in her?”

“Not long,” she said with a lazy shrug.

“So where is she? Must be crowded if you’re both in their.” Dean was stalling for time, hoping that maybe Ruby was nearby and could take this bitch down.

Lilith seemed preoccupied by the feel of her new body as she distractedly replied, “Ruby was a _very_ bad girl so I sent her far, far away.”

Her interest in Dean waned as she sidled over to Sam. “Hello Sam. I’ve wanted to meet you for a very long time,” she said before she kissed him. “You’re lips are soft.”

Sam tried to turn his head away. “Right so you have me, now let my brother go.”

“Silly goose if you want to bargain you have to have something that I want… and you don’t,” she told him as she walked away.

“You’re wrong,” Sam replied. “I don’t need to bargain. Dean and I are bonded. Take him and you’ll get me too. Is that what you want?”

She turned and stared at Sam and then at Dean, her head tilted as she thought about what Sam had said, “I don’t believe you,” she finally replied looking back to the man in front of her.

“Well that’s your choice but do you really want to risk me down there challenging your position? I was old Yellow Eyes’ preferred choice. I’m his heir. I carry his blood. Do you really want a power struggle because I will happily give you one if you take my brother? Do you really want _two_ Winchester souls rampaging through hell? You don’t seem that stupid but then you’re not the one he chose to take over so maybe you are.”

She gave a hollow laugh, “Sam didn’t anyone ever tell you that it’s not nice to lie, especially to a demon? If you really had a bond then why did you want to know how to save Dean?”

Without another word she walked to the door and opened it, “Sic him boy,” she drawled as she ushered the hell hound into the room.

Sam couldn’t see it but he saw how wide Dean’s eyes grew and he felt wave after wave of fear through their bond as his brother tracked the creature.

Then suddenly everything changed. Instead of the hound leaping at Dean it made a run for Sam.

“No!” screamed Dean as he watched in horror as they beast moved towards his brother.

Sam wasn’t sure what was happening but he knew it wasn’t good whatever it was.

“Stop!” Ordered Lilith but it was too late. The hound leapt towards Sam and only at the last minute missed him; instead leaving gouge marks down the wall either side of his body.

Sam squeezed his eyes shut and tried to reign in his ragged breathing. He couldn’t see the beast but he feel a heavy weight against him as it slid down to the floor and he could smell its rancid breath. The worst of it was that while the thing had been called off, Sam knew it was just there waiting for permission to attack.

He reigned in his own terror and thinking quickly Sam tried to gain some advantage out of this change in events “I told you Dean and I have a bond. Your dog can’t tell whose soul to take. You wanna rethink your decision now?”

“Silly that’s not a bond that’s magic. Hunters tricks to confuse the puppy” she said happily. “And this Sam is me collecting on a debt. The other one,” she commanded the hound with a nod towards to Dean.

Sam caught Dean’s eyes and for a microsecond time stood still as they tried to convey love, hope, determination and sadly resignation and then it began.

Sam looked on horrified as Dean was dragged from the table; blood flowed from wounds too numerous to count and all the while his brother was screaming in pain as he rolled around the floor trying to escape the hell hound.

The bond was strong between them and as Dean writhed on the floor, Sam felt everything Dean felt. He had the pain without the wounds to show for it. He gasped when Dean gasped, screamed when Dean screamed and sobbed when Dean had no strength to call out at all.

“No! Stop!” Sam begged.

“Too late,” she told him as she raised her hand and a piercing white light exploded from it filling the room.

“Stop! Stop it!” Sam shouted again and suddenly the light was gone, the hell hound stopped tearing Dean to pieces and more importantly he was no longer pinned to the wall. Sam it seemed was impervious to her power.

Lilith seemed stunned as she watched him stand up. “Back,” she ordered as this very much alive and incredibly pissed off man turned on her.

But Sam had no intention of backing off, “Dean and I are bonded. If _anyone_ ever touches him again, they will pay the price,” he roared as he stalked towards her.

“I said stay back,” she insisted and for the first time Sam could smell the fear rolling off her and he felt powerful and in control.

“I don’t think so,” he growled as he picked up the discarded knife and raised it above his head.

“Dean’s free. The contract is broken” she cried in an attempt to bargain her way out of the situation.

“Music to my ears,” snarled Sam as he swung the knife down towards her.

Suddenly, just before the knife made contact, the innocent that Lilith possessed went rigid and with an unnatural scream the demon fled the body taking the hell hound with her, back to wherever they both came from.

She was gone and the deal was off but it was too late, the damage had been done.

“Dean,” Sam cried as he knelt next to the broken and bloodied body of his brother. “Oh Dean.”

*************************************************************

 

  
**Fifteen Minutes After All Hell Broke Loose  
Part 12**

In front of the house twenty or so demons had been masquerading as neighbors. They had been held at bay by the blessed water Bobby had channeled through the sprinkler system. He watched in relieved surprise as they started to keel over. He had no idea what had happened inside the house but whatever had occurred it was now obviously over. He guessed that either Lilith was dead or she was long gone and her merry band of supporters had fled leaving the manicured lawn of this quiet suburban street littered with bodies and shell shocked survivors.

Bobby hurried across the street, weaving in between the dispossessed and the dead as he made his way to the front door.

 _No point knocking,_ he thought as he barged his way inside.

“Sam?” he called. “Sam?” He didn’t even bother calling for Dean. They had struggled for a year to find a way out of the deal for the boy and Bobby believed that the likelihood of Dean surviving a run in with a hell hound and a demon like Lilith was pretty slim at best.

“Sam?” he yelled a bit louder as he ran from room to room.

As he came around a corner he saw Sam at the end of the hall crouched over Dean’s body “Sam!” he shouted relieved to find the younger Winchester still alive.

“Help me Bobby,” Sam pleaded as he desperately tried to stop the blood flow.

“Sam it’s too late,” he quietly told the distraught young man as he dragged him away from the body. “You tried everything you could son but you knew that this might happen. We all did.”

“No!” Sam shouted at the older man. “You don’t understand. He’s not dead Bobby. He’s not dead.”

“What?” Bobby looked at Dean. The boy looked dead but then he saw it, the slightest lift of his chest. He fell to his knees and checked for a pulse and unbelievably there was one. “How the hell is he even alive,” Bobby asked amazed as he ripped off his jacket and shoved it down hard on the gouge on Dean’s thigh.

“Never mind how. We have to stop the bleeding,” Sam cried frantically as he looked around for anything to use as bandages.

“It’d be easier to just cut his clothes off,” Bobby decided since what was left of them were blood soaked and in tatters anyhow. “Anyone survive in this place?” Bobby asked.

“They’re in the basement,” Sam numbly replied the shock of it all starting to take over.

“Well go get ‘em out and see what medical supplies they have and get some scissors. Hurry,” he ordered as he continued to apply pressure to the worst of Dean’s wounds.

Sam hesitated; he didn’t want to leave Dean.

“Sam go! Your brother can’t wait forever.”

Sam returned quickly with a medical kit, a pile of clean sheets and the little girl’s father.

“Do you need help?” the man asked nervously.

“Tear them sheets into strips we’ll need plenty of ‘em,” Bobby instructed as he grabbed the scissors to cut away the shredded garments.

The father looked at Dean, “Will he…”

“He’s gonna make it,” Sam stressed to the man.

Once Dean was naked they had a better handle on what wounds he had and how bad they were. “Lot of scratches, legs are a mess; he’ll probably need stitches, puncture wounds on the shoulders,” Bobby mused as he catalogued the injuries. “Looks bad but it’s nothing that he can’t get over, though I’m not a doctor. Blood loss is his biggest problem,” Bobby stressed.

“That’s good then, right? He’ll be okay?” Sam asked hopefully.

As he mopped up some of the blood Bobby noted the small tattoo on Dean’s hip. “So you don’t know how he survived huh?”

“No,” Sam muttered as he applied bandages to his brothers injured shoulders.

“Boy just how stupid do you think I am?” Bobby seethed as he pointed to the mark.

“Well it worked didn’t it?” Sam snapped back.

“Damn it Sam do you even know how dangerous it is messing around with these things? That’s _forever_ magic. Did you even know that you could have both ended up dead?”

“Forever is what we want Bobby and we’re both alive but he may not be for much longer if I don’t get him to a doctor.”

“There’s a medical centre in town,” the father offered.

“We can’t take him to anyone around here. The authorities will arrive in no time after what’s happened. It’s a bit hard to explain to them that we came here to rescue folks when there are bodies everywhere,” Bobby informed the man, who nodded acknowledging the predicament they were in.

Sam knew Bobby was right but that left him only one choice he didn’t know if Dean could survive the trip. Still it was a risk he had to take. “I know someone a few states away,” he muttered. “Just help me get him to the car and we’ll be on out way. Can you manage this on your own?” He asked Bobby indicating the disaster around them.

“What you think you invented lying? I’ll be fine,” he assured the younger man. “Just take care of your brother.”

***********************************************

 

  
**Thirty Minutes After All Hell Broke Loose**

Dean had lost a lot of blood but once they had stopped the bleeding and cleaned him up Sam figured his brother had a fighting chance. It would be a long drive but he and Bobby made a bed for Dean on the back seat of the car and gently laid him on it.

“I don’t know where you’re heading and I don’t want to know,” stressed Bobby. “Let’s just say plausible deniability goes a long way in situations like these. Now call me if you need anything and drive smart, don’t draw attention to yourself.”

“We’ll be fine and I’ll call you when we get there if not before and Bobby?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re right family doesn’t end with blood. Thanks for...”

“Get going,” the man ordered gruffly, hoping he would see the boys again soon.

Sam nodded but checked Dean one last time, “It’s over Dean. You’re safe,” he told his brother as he tucked the blankets around the unconscious man. “I’m so sorry you were hurt but you survived and I’m gonna take good care of you. Gonna fix you up and you’ll see, you’ll be as good as new in no time. I love you,” he whispered as he kissed the top of Dean’s head before climbing into the car and heading out of town.

Sam drove as fast as was legally allowed as he steadily traveled east. During this time Dean never stirred which Sam was grateful for but he stopped every so often to ensure that his brother was still breathing and that the bleeding was still under control.

As he drove he kept up a constant dialogue with his unconscious brother in between phone calls to the doctor, the sounds of the one way conversations filling in the endless miles and hours…

“You just have to believe Dean. Believe that you will make it. Hey man I’m no doctor but a lot of those scratches are surface wounds. They bleed like a bitch, hurt like hell but they won’t kill you. So I know you probably feel like shit right now but the doc will give you a transfusion and a few pain killers and you’ll be fine.”

“Dean when you get on your feet again we are so not going on a road trip again. My ass is numb from this one already and I swear when we get there I won’t be able to walk without being bent over.”

“You ever think about not hunting dude? What would we do if we didn’t hunt? I can’t imagine you in a suit going to an office every day. Construction maybe? It’s physical, outdoors; you’d be good at it. You’re good with your hands…boy are you good with your hands.”

"Hey Daniel. It’s Sam Winchester. I know it’s early,” he tried to keep his voice calm as he spoke to the doctor. “Dean’s been hurt,” he said, cutting straight to the problem.

“What? How bad?” Daniel yelled into the phone.

“He’s lost a lot of blood. Left leg looks worse than his right, shoulder has a puncture wound. Back, chest and stomach scratched…”

“Scratched?”

“Dog. Big dog,” Sam explained.

“Sam take him straight to a hospital. It sounds like he needs urgent care."

“Can’t,” He emphatically replied.

“What?” Daniel was stunned. If Dean needed medical intervention then that should be Sam’s first priority not driving from who knows where with a man who clearly needed to be in a medical facility as soon as possible.

“Please Daniel, you told Dean that if we ever needed help that you would help us,” Sam reminded the man. “We need help okay. Dean needs help and I’m begging you, don’t turn us away because I really can’t take him to a hospital.”

“Sam are you boys into something illegal?”

“No Daniel! We don’t do drugs, we don’t trade weapons, we don’t rob banks, we’re not hit men, pimps or prostitutes but we have no where to go and Dean will die if he doesn’t get help.”

Sam heard the frustrated sigh on the other end of the line, “Where are you?” Daniel asked.

“We’re about eight hours away,” Sam told him but he didn’t tell Daniel where they were or that they had been on the road for four hours already.

“Eight hours! You’re kidding right? If he’s as bad as you say he is, he’ll be dead in eight hours.”

“Daniel you have no idea how strong he is. He’s too stubborn to die and besides I won’t let him. He’ll make it. I know he will.”

“Fine but mark my words if I think he needs more than I can do for him then I won’t hesitate to send him straight to hospital.”

“Okay but please see him first; do what you can,” Sam said tiredly.

“You okay Sam?” asked Daniel, the weary tone of Sam’s voice worried the doctor.

“Yeah,” he flatly replied. “Hey, you’ll need his blood group…”

“I already have it. Remember I took blood when you were here recently.”

Sam shook his head sadly as he recalled how happy they had been a mere four weeks ago at the inn.

“Drive safely but I’m going to call you every thirty minutes to see how you’re both going.”

And that’s exactly what happened. Daniel called like clock work to check how they were...

“You have to eat,” Daniel told him. “You can’t drive non stop without food Sam.”

“I have to get gas. I’ll get something then.”

“How’s he doing?” The doctor asked.

“He’s pale, clammy but his breathing seems okay.”

“Check his pulse,” Daniel ordered another time.

“It’s weak but constant,” Sam replied.

“Has he woken at all?”

“No but that’s okay isn’t it? Because he should rest and it would help with the pain right?”

“How’s our boy?” Daniel asked when they were four hours away.

“His breathing is shallow and he’s shivering. I put an extra blanket around him and he seems to have settled again.”

“How are you doing?”

“I’m fine, Dean’s fine too. We’re okay.”

“Sam you need to…”

“Don’t say stop Daniel. I need to get him to you. I can’t stop.”

“Sam he won’t make it if you run off the road due to exhaustion and you both get killed.”

“He isn’t going to die Daniel. He has his life back. He’s not gonna die now.”

“What do you mean Sam? Is there something I should know? Is Dean sick? Does he have AIDS?”

“No.”

“Hepatitis B or C?”

“No.”

“Cancer?”

“No, no, nothing. No allergies or asthma, no heart problems, no blood problems, he’s got all his teeth which is surprising considering the shit he eats and while he likes a drink he doesn’t get drunk too often. He just ended up badly hurt, nothing more, nothing less.”

So other than getting gas a couple of times or pulling over to check on Dean, Sam just kept driving. He knew he was running on empty. The events of the past year let alone last night had started to overwhelm him but he needed to stay focused until he had safely delivered Dean to Daniel; then and only then would he give in to the physical and emotional exhaustion that had beset him.

In between calls to Daniel Sam continued to talk to Dean. He talked about what their life would be like now that the demons knew about their bond; how they should take a break from hunting and maybe go to Disneyland; he told Dean how much he loved him and that he never wanted to lose him.

When his voice grew hoarse from talking he played Dean’s favorite music cursing when a tape became jammed or the cassettes fell on the floor out of reach. “You know there is something to be said for a CD stacker Dean. You can still have all your old favorites but without the hassle.”

He wished he had a GPS too because trying to navigate across the country while checking a map that was spread out on the passenger seat while driving at night, like a bat out of hell was an accident waiting to happen. It had been so easy when there were both okay, one drove, one navigated but this was a nightmare.

Bobby rang a couple of times too. Said he was on his way home and that he had heard on the radio that police thought some sort of Manson style cult had invaded New Harmony and killed all those people.

“How’s the family doing?” Sam asked concerned for their welfare.

“Messed up. That kid will need therapy forever. She was pretty hysterical when she saw all the bodies.”

Sam really didn’t want to contemplate how on earth that family was going to put their life back together after what had happened to them and he wondered if the girl would grow up to be insane or a hunter but then maybe that was the same thing.

*******************************************

 

  
**Twelve Hours After All Hell Broke Loose**

“Daniel we’re almost there,” he told the doctor as he turned down the long road leading to the inn. “He looks wrong… something’s wrong. I can see blood on the blanket. I don’t know where it’s coming from. Oh god I think he’s dead,” Sam cried.

Sam started honking the horn as he sped along the country road to alert them that he and Dean were almost there. He screeched to a halt next to the stone wall and Daniel, Hans and Willy were there before Sam had even turned off the engine.

Daniel immediately checked Dean’s pulse and breathing.

“He’s dead!” Screamed Hans as he looked at the pale, lifeless body of Dean. “My beautiful boy is dead.”

“He’s not dead but he’s not far off,” Daniel told them. “Get him inside quickly,” he ordered.

Willy leaned down and picked Dean up in his huge arms like he was a rag doll and gently carried the unconscious man inside to the room Daniel had set up while waiting for his patient to arrive.

Sam hovered in the doorway reluctant to get in the doctor’s way as he examined Dean.

When Daniel pulled back the blanket that covered Dean, they all gasped in horror as the extent of the man’s injuries became alarmingly apparent.

“You going to tell me what did this to him?” Daniel yelled at Sam.

“Dog,” Sam replied numbly.

“No dog I know could do this much damage. Looks more like a cougar,” Willy muttered.

“Cougar,” Sam echoed as he stared at Dean’s damaged body.

“Oh my,” Hans sobbed.

“Sam what happened to him? I need to know what happened,” Daniel demanded.

“Hell hounds …clawing…” Sam mumbled almost incoherently.

It was all too much for Sam. He hadn’t slept in almost thirty-six hours, had driven for twelve hours straight after having fought off hell hounds and demons and had tried to keep his brother alive long enough to get help. What he failed to understand was that because of the bond he was also feeling Dean’s exhaustion and pain as well as his own and in the end he was barely able to keep standing let alone keep moving. Sam didn’t know what to do or who to turn to, so instead he simply shut down emotionally and backed out of the room saying, “I’m sorry, so sorry,” over and over.

“Sam! Sam?” Daniel yelled after the man. “Damn you, get back here now. Dean needs you. Sam…”

*************************************************************

 

  
  
**One Year After the Bond was Sealed**

**Part 13  
2009**

_Another day, another dollar_ he thought as walked to his truck. It had been a long and unsettling week and he just wanted to get home and relax with a cold beer and a hot meal. He turned the corner, stepped into the doorway and grabbed the stranger who had been dogging his steps all week, shoving him hard against the wall.

“Have you been following me Sammy?”

“I didn’t come here to fight with you Dean.”

“Yeah, then why are you here? You’re a year too late to see if I made it.”

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright,” Sam gasped as Dean twisted his shirt tight around his throat.

“Well if you had stuck around you’d have known that already but I guess you were busy.”

“Look I know I stuffed up. I’m sorry!”

“You walked out on me Sammy. You took my virginity, my car and my sanity. How could you do it man? How could you fuck me over like that? I needed you and you dumped me.”

Sam didn’t know what to say. Sorry seemed so inadequate but he honestly was sorry. “I let you down, you ended up injured and I didn’t know what to do. I felt guilty and messed up and I know saying sorry doesn’t even come close to fixing this but I am so sorry.”

Dean looked away clearly weighing his options. He had dreamt of this day for a while and how he would deal with it but now that it was here he wasn’t so sure. He finally let go of Sam but he didn’t move out of his personal space. “You know I always worried that you would walk out one day especially after we killed the Yellow-Eyed Demon.”

“God you had just sold your soul, did you really think I could be that much of a bastard?”

“In light of what you did do, yeah I think its right up there on my list of ‘shitty things my brother is capable of’; you bet I do.”

Sam laid his head back against the wall. This wasn’t going as well as he would have liked but realistically he hadn’t expected to even speak to Dean so maybe things weren’t too far gone after all, at least they were talking, well sort of.

“Sometimes I think back to all those arguments about you wanting an ordinary life and me being left behind and it’s funny Sam because that’s what I have now. An ordinary, go to work, come home life and you know what, I love it. So don’t come here and start telling me you’re sorry for what happened because I worked darn hard to get to this point and I don’t need you coming around screwing it or me up. You have no idea what it was like for me Sam; how hard it was to keep going but I did. I pulled myself together and I like who I am; so thanks for the apology but I don’t need it or you anymore.”

“Dean when we argued about me leaving I was a lot younger. I’d lost Jess, my career, I was battling a childhood that made me feel different and then I discovered that I really was different. Back then I wanted to get out of hunting, I wanted to get away from being ordered around and just be my own man but then we started hunting again; I fell in love with you and I didn’t want us to ever be apart.”

“You love me?” Dean gave a hollow laugh. “You have a hell of way of showing that Sammy. You know I get that you thought you had failed me, even though the fact that I survived was proof that you hadn’t but what I can’t get my head around is that you, my brother not my lover, left me and never checked on me again. How could you do it Sam? How could you be so heartless?”

“But I did check on you. I saw that you had a job, a truck and a boyfriend. You looked…happy, content.”

“Yet you never said a word to me. Why was that Sam? How come you could spy on me but you couldn’t talk to me?”

Sam sighed; it was crunch time, “About three months ago, I came to tell you how sorry I was. I wanted to fix things between us but I saw you with the doctor, Daniel. He kissed you and I didn’t feel anything. I mean I felt…”

“Jealous?” prompted Dean.

“Not that, the bond; I didn’t feel anything. I used to be able to feel what you were feeling when we first set it up but that day I could _see_ how happy you were but I didn’t _sense_ it. I guess because it was so new and we hadn’t done anything to keep it going, it just died.”

“I thought you said it would last forever.”

“Yeah but you have to work at it and…”

“…and you taking off probably ended it?”

“Don’t know.”

“Bobby warned me that might happen,” Dean stated coolly. “But then if you’d seen him or talked to him he might have told you too.”

Sam was surprised, “You talked to him?”

“It’s a global community Sammy. Daniel rang him for me not long after that night and I spoke to him a while later. He said you’d gone to ground.”

“No, I mean you talked to Bobby about the bond?”

“No! I had no intention of ever telling him about that ,but he knew. So you wanna tell me how that happened Francis?”

“The night you were hurt he came in and saw that you were alive. He was shocked and then he saw the tattoo. He’s not stupid Dean he knew what it meant.”

“I get the feeling that old Bobby wasn’t too happy.”

“We never discussed it if that’s what you mean. Did you?” Sam asked wondering what might have been said during the time he was away.

“Nah just one time when I called to see if he had heard from you he said that the bond wouldn’t work too well without you being around. When I asked him how he knew that we had a bond, he told me that he recognized the mark on my hip. End of discussion. So you think it died huh? Maybe we just downgraded to a life bond like we always had,” Dean stated sarcastically. “Probably for the best being _brothers_ an’ all. It lets us get on with our lives separately,”

“Maybe,” Sam conceded. “All I know is you had a life and someone special and I didn’t want to intrude. I didn’t want to drag you away from what you had.”

“You mean take me away from Daniel?”

Sam nodded.

“I owe Daniel everything. He was there for me Sam when you weren’t. How do you think I was after that night? I was torn to shreds, I almost bled to death and he was there telling me to hold on, that it would be alright. He was the one who held me through the crap. Jesus Sam do you have any idea how fucked up in the head I was; Daniel was there for me Sam, he held me at night when the nightmares came, he helped me to walk again. Did you know I was in wheelchair for months? No, of course you didn’t because you weren’t there. You screwed with my head and you screwed me before the hell hound came, your brother and then you just walked away because it didn’t turn out the way you wanted. Grow up Sam. Life isn’t all ice cream and magic fountains. Just because you want it to be special Sam doesn’t always make it special”

“What?” Sam asked slightly confused by the comment.

Dean sighed, “You kept telling me all I had to do was believe. Well in the end I believed. I believed in you and us and the magic of the bond and look what happened to me Sam. How do you think I feel when for months afterwards I kept thinking of the conversations we had running them over and over in my head? You’d said it was the lesser of two evils; that sleeping with you would save me and yet when I survived you walked away. Why was that exactly? I was alive, okay barely but I was still breathing, the deal was broken, we had a future and yet you chose that moment to leave. I didn’t understand it then and I still don’t….”

The sound of trudging boots and laughter interrupted their conversation as a few of Dean’s workmates wandered past having just knocked off for the day. Some of them wolf whistled as they filed passed Dean and Sam.

“Yo Dean, you got yourself a new boyfriend? What will your doc friend say to that?”

“Bite me Mac,” Dean yelled back good naturedly.

“I’ll leave that for lover boy sweetheart.”

“Hey Dean, don’t forget the big game tomorrow night. We’re heading down to O'Shaughnessy’s about eight.”

“I’ll be there George and don’t forget you owe me a drink,” he called back to the man.

“How could I? You’ve been reminding me all week,” the man laughed as he headed out the gate.

“Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do,” yelled another man as he drove by.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean waved as the man sped off.

Turning his attention back to Sam, Dean eyed his brother intently, “Look, I gotta go and pick up Danny and then get home. It’s Willy’s night to cook and he gets real pent up when we’re late. You know the old ‘slave over a hot stove’ thing but he always cooks up a storm. You’re welcome to join us.”

“Do you really think that’s a good idea Dean?” Sam asked, surprised by the offer.

“I’ll leave that up to you Sammy; the offers there,” he said as he walked to his truck and drove off.

****************************************

Dean was setting the table when there was a knock at the door.

Hans ushered the visitor into the dining room, “Look everyone. Look who has come back,” he squealed.

There was a moment of silence and then Willy engulfed Sam in a bear hug. “Missed ya little buddy,” he all but sobbed as he squeezed the life out of Sam.

“Missed you too big guy,” and it was the truth Sam had missed them all.

“Hans missed you as well but Hans was mad because you hurt our Dean,” Hans stated in his best chastising voice.

Dean smiled smugly. He liked that people cared about him after a life time of being the one doing the caring.

“Hans forgives you,” the manager solemnly informed Sam.

“Hans is a little more forgiving than I am,” came an uncompromising voice from behind Sam.

Sam turned around, “Daniel,” he coolly replied, acknowledging the doctor.

“Dean mentioned you were back in town.” The man was almost toe to toe with Sam.

“I wanted to see how Dean was doing.”

Daniel was so not in the mood to mince words. “He could have done with that a year ago but I guess better later than never.”

“I didn’t come here to fight with you,” Sam stressed not wanting to cause trouble for Dean more than anything else.

“I know that but I will not hesitate to throw you out on your ass if you cause any trouble.” Daniel declared.

“If I upset Dean you mean,” Sam snapped back.

“Enough!” Dean roared. Pointing to Daniel he said, “I don’t need you fighting my battles for me,” and looking at Sam, he told his brother, “and I don’t need you turning my life upside down again. Now both of you shut up and sit down. Willy has dinner ready and I’m starving.”

The men hastily sat down, Sam opposite Dean and Daniel; an uneasy truce between them for Dean’s sake.

“So Sam what have you been up to?” Willy asked.

“Nothing much really. Traveled around a bit.”

“You done any hunting lately?” Dean asked conversationally.

“Umm…”

Dean smiled wryly, “Folks here know what we do…did. In fact you might be interested to know that the reason this old place wasn’t full when we first came here was because of a nasty little poltergeist out in the stables. That’s why the rates were so reasonable and Hans had plenty of room. Critters like that are bad for business and horses. It’s gone in case you’re wondering and the tourists are back which is great. Because of that little adventure I was able to set up a little ghost hunting business on the side, nothing big just enough to keep up my interest. Do you have any idea how many lighthouses are haunted on the East Coast? Anyway, have you done any hunting lately?”

Sam was stunned that these people knew the great family secret. They had lived with the ‘don’t tell anyone what we do’ thing all their lives and to now discuss it over dinner seemed like something out of the twilight zone, “Uhm cleaned out a vampire nest in Oregon and went out to the site of the Cabin murders in Northern California.”

“Thought the place had been cleaned back in the nineties,” Dean sat forward interested by the news.

“Actually it was bulldozed down a few years back but rumors of evil lurking in the woods still linger so I thought I’d check it out.”

“Wendigo perhaps? Although I’ve never heard of one that far west.”

“We’d never heard of one in Colorado either but there it was. Thing is whatever killed those people used a knife and a hammer. Doesn’t sound like your average Wendigo.”

“Could just be your garden variety serial killer Sammy.”

“Yeah I thought that too. Pretty scary if there’s someone running around that’s that gone in the head.”

“Well Sammy you know what I say Demons I get…”

“…people are crazy,” they said together laughing at their private joke.

“So what are you planning on doing next?” Daniel asked as he draped his arm around the back of Dean’s chair interrupting their discussion.

Sam winced ever so slightly at the gesture. “Not sure really. I hadn’t planned that far ahead.” He smiled at Dean. “I guess I thought you’d knock my head off before I had a chance to even open my mouth,” he admitted to Dean.

“Well you just don’t know me very well at all,” Dean replied as he seemed to relax back against Daniel’s arm.

Willy suddenly leapt up from the table, “Look at the time. So are we still going? He asked the group.

Sam sat up straight. “Sorry I didn’t realize…” he started to say.

“It’s okay Sam we’re just going to the gay pride committee meeting in town,” Dean informed the man.

“You’re what?” Sam couldn’t keep the surprise out of his voice.

Dean looked offended by Sam’s tone. “Sammy I’m as gay as the next boy.”

“No not the gay thing, though I do find it a bit hard to imagine you in a pride march; I’m surprised by the committee thing. I never thought I’d live to see the day when Dean Winchester joined a committee. Who are you and what have you done with my…”

“Lover?” Dean asked cutting off Sam before he said something he shouldn’t. “I just went along because I didn’t want to be alone here and I ended up helping out making floats and stuff,” he said with a shrug. “Anyway it’s fun. Point is Sammy there is so much you don’t know about me but that’s what happens when you don’t stick around. You miss out and life goes on,” Dean told him as he began to clear the table.

Sam sobered, “Yeah I’m beginning to realize that. Well I’ll let you get on with your night. Thanks for dinner…”

“No don’t be silly,” Hans gushed. “You come too.”

“But…”

“No butts, well maybe one or two firm butts. Ah but Hans digresses you come. I insist,” the man proclaimed.

“Okay,” chuckled Sam. “You sure you don’t mind?” Sam was happy to be able to spend more time with Dean and the thought of his brother being in gay pride was something he really wanted to see first hand.

“Mind? No. Tell me, do you sing Samuel?” Hans enquired.

“Sadly Sammy is not blessed with a singing voice. I seem to recall him murdering Bon Jovi’s _Dead or Alive_ a while back,” Dean announced to the group.

“Guilty as charged,” Sam bowed slightly smiling at Dean.

“Ah shame we could have used you. Never mind we find something else for you to do,” fussed Hans as he shooed them out the door.

“Seriously I wouldn’t want to impose,” Sam said looking at Dean and Daniel.

“Samuel we are gay. Imposing is a way of life. Now come, come. You go with the boys. I take my Willy.”

*****************************************

The ride to the meeting place was strained and conversation minimal. When they arrived they were greeted by much cheering, hugging and kissing. Dean was dragged away to deal with some problem and the others quickly were occupied by various people and so Sam found himself alone in the crowd.

A young man around Dean’s age came over and introduced himself, “Hi I’m Tom and I’m guessing you’re the famous Sam I’ve heard so much about.”

“Infamous by the sound of that,” Sam nervously replied.

“No, not at all. Let’s just say your name has pooped up a few times over the months.”

“Tom,” Daniel waved the man over to him.

“Excuse me a minute,” Tom said as he headed over to Daniel and kissed him passionately.

Sam stared wide eyed at the pair.

“I see you met Daniel’s boy, Ten Second Tom,” Dean stated a little too loudly as he came to stand beside his brother.

“It’s more like a minute, asshole,” Tom yelled at Dean.

“That’s not what Daniel says,” Dean teased.

“Daniel?” Tom stood tapping his foot demanding an answer from his lover.

Daniel rolled his eyes at Dean. “You know he’s just trying to wind you up.”

“And you know how sensitive I am about it all,” the man prattled on about his concerns.

Daniel put an arm around him, looked back at Dean and gave him the finger.

“Anytime!” Dean laughed.

Sam watched the entire exchange with interest. “So that’s Daniel’s…I thought…”

“Sammy, Sammy, Sammy you never used to jump to conclusions what happened to you?” teased Dean.

“I…”

“Look I gotta sort some stuff out here but I’ll be done in a little while and I’m sure Daniel can get back to the inn with someone else. We can go back to my place or yours. You at the first motel in the phone book?”

“Yeah under the name of…”

“Jim Rockford,” Dean finished for him.

“Wow I’m really predictable aren’t I?” groaned Sam.

“A little but only you and I know about the motel thing so that’s okay.”

“How about we go back to your place?” Sam suggested. “Might be cleaner than where I’m staying and besides I left my car there.”

“My car you mean,” Dean reminded him. "I seem to recall saying take care of my wheels not my take my wheels."

“Ah yeah about that…I…”

Dean held up a hand, “Let me guess? You’re sorry.”

“Yeah,” Sam quietly replied.

*************************************************************

 

  
  
**One Year After the Bond was Sealed**

**Part 14  
2009**

A little while later they were sitting in Dean’s suite. Sam looked around examining the trappings of the normal life that Dean had started to collect.

“Wow you have a book shelf,” exclaimed Sam.

“Don’t get carried away. I still only read books from movies or a good magazine. Just because I like to suck cock doesn’t mean I’m suddenly into Jane Austen or Shakespeare.”

“Do you?” Sam asked cautiously.

“Do I what?”

“Suck cock?”

“Does it matter if I do?”

Sam hesitated as he really didn’t know what to say.

“You jealous?” Dean challenged.

“Maybe.”

“You want a piece of my ass Sammy?”

“Don’t Dean,” Sam warned.

“Is that why you came back? To claim me again; to tell me that you care and what happens when I wake up? You’ll be gone again. No thanks, I don’t need it.”

Sam was so frustrated. He thought it would be easier to say what he wanted to but now faced with an angry Dean he just couldn’t do it. “I came back to make sure you were happy.”

“I am.”

“Then I should go,” Sam said as he turned towards the door.

“Just like that you can walk out?” Dean yelled after him.

“Look Dean I needed to tell you how sorry I was for everything that happened; the bond, the sex, the hell hound, I _never_ meant for you to get hurt.”

“But you knew I would,” Dean said coldly.

“No!”

Dean glared at him. “Don’t you dare lie to me. Not after everything I’ve been through.”

Sam thought about it and finally answered. “Okay yes but not at first. The plan had a major flaw in it.”

“That would be the part where the demons knew we had a bond and weren’t supposed to attack?” Dean suggested.

“Yeah!”

“Except that there was no way they could know we had a bond, so there was no reason for them not to attack. How am I doing? Am I right?”

“Yeah. Sorry. When did you work it out?”

“Oh, during the four months I was confined to a wheel chair because my legs had been so badly injured.”

“Sorry.”

“Okay I’m as much to blame for not picking up on it but I handed all of it over to you. You researched the bond, you organized the tattoos and you pushed for the sex to make sure we had done everything we needed to and you told me not to worry because we had it all covered. So what I can’t understand is why, when it became obvious I hadn’t realized that there was a problem, you didn’t bother tell me? Why didn’t you think it important enough to tell me that I might get torn to shreds before the day was done?” Dean shouted at him.

Sam madly tried to explain before things spiraled out of control. “It took me a while to realize I had made a mistake and I didn’t want to tell you because I thought you would go off to search for Bella or want to look for some other quick fix. I wanted to keep you safe during those last few weeks and the only thing I could think to do was strengthen the bond and hope you didn’t get too hurt before I could get the hell hound off you.”

“So when did you realize the mistake in the plan?”

“While we were here,” Sam admitted without looking at Dean. This was what had kept him awake at night over the preceding months. This was Sam’s Sword of Damocles; he had known for a month before the hell hounds came that their plan wasn’t foolproof but he had failed to share the information with the one person who would be most affected by the knowledge and the failing, Dean.

But Dean had known all along that Sam was uneasy about something. That last day they stayed at the inn when they were saying their goodbyes he had felt how unsettled Sam was and it had made him so uneasy that even Daniel had picked up on his mood and back then he didn’t really know Daniel at all.

“So you wanting to get Ruby’s knife was not so much wanting a little extra back up but it was the only thing you could think of that might kill the hell hounds before they killed me?” Dean asked his brother.

“Yeah. I hoped I would be able to kill it before it got near you.”

Dean shoved Sam hard. “You manipulative son-of-a-bitch. You knew I wanted a back up and you knew I’d help get that knife even though I ordered you not to summon Ruby. You played me like a fiddle and sent me in to face the hell hound and never told me what might happen to me.”

“I was trying to protect you,” Sam yelled at him.

“How? By leaving me unprepared. Come on Sam that’s not how we do it. You’re my brother you supposed to be the one person I can rely on and you let me down.”

“I’m sorry,” Sam whispered. “I thought that it was better for you to go in feeling confident.”

“Instead I went in convinced I would die.” Dean was livid. “You should have told me Sammy. You’re the one who said secrets would hurt the bond yet this was the biggest of them all and you didn’t think I should know about it. You said I had to trust you but you didn’t trust me. You’re all ‘I’ll watch your back’ but you knew what was going to happen and you didn’t warn me. I asked you outright if everything was alright and you said it was. How could you lie to me when my life was on the line? That was unforgivable and then to top it off you just walked away. I don’t understand. Tell me why? Tell me what I did wrong? Why didn’t you care enough to stay?”

Tears were streaming down Sam’s cheeks. He had seriously underestimated the damage he had caused Dean. He could clearly see that all the pain and hurt Dean had suffered was now raw again. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you or ruin what you have now,” he sobbed.

“Then why come back now?” Dean cried. “It’s been almost a year since that night. Why do it to me again Sam?”

It was now or never. Sam laid it all out there. “You have no idea what it was like that night. I was scared and feeling guilty about what happened. You were lying there bleeding and the only doctor I knew who was far enough away from the carnage of that place to ensure we didn’t end up having problems with the law was Daniel but he was twelve hours away. So Bobby helped me, we managed to stop the bleeding and bandage you up enough to travel, then we laid you on the back seat of the car and I drove like a bat out of hell to here. On the way I called Daniel and told him you had been seriously hurt and that you would need blood. He was set to go when we arrived except that because it took so long to get here, when we pulled up I thought you were dead.”

Sam sat down and put his head in his hands. The memory of that night made his stomach roll. “When we arrived Hans and Willy raced to the car. Hans started screaming because he thought you had died on the way here but Willy just picked you up and carried you inside so Daniel could work on you. Daniel kept asking me, ‘what happened, Sam I need to know’ but I was in shock I guess, I just remember shaking my head and backing out of the room. Next thing I remember I was in Florida still covered in your blood and a week had gone by. I never meant to stay away but after I sorted myself out I was too afraid to come back. Then about three months ago I tried. I followed you from work one day when you went to pick up Daniel. I saw him kiss you and you hugged him and you two seemed so happy. Hell Dean you had a grin from ear to ear and you glowed. I couldn’t take that away from you so I just got in the car and left.”

“But why come back now? If you were so sure I had moved on and that the bond was dead. Then why come back and potentially fuck everything up?”

Sam smiled sadly, “It’s stupid.”

“Obviously not, because you’re standing here despite everything that happened,” Dean reasoned.

Sam took a steadying breath, “It’s our anniversary.”

“What?” Dean was stunned.

“It’s a year since we came here and…did it,” Sam told him.

“So you came back for sex?”

Sam could see the hurt in Dean’s eyes. “No you idiot I came back because I love you and I wanted to try and fix things between us. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness and I certainly don’t want to mess up what you’ve done with your life but you’re my big brother and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you and even if I do screw things up I still love you more than anyone or anything else in the world.”

“A year?” Dean asked.

“Yeah.”

“Wow!” Dean laughed. “A whole year.”

“I know you have this great life now with a family and people who love you and I have no intention of dragging you away from that but I thought maybe we could hang out sometimes and try to reconnect as brothers and friends and…”

“You ever gonna do it again?” Dean asked suddenly very serious.

“What walk out on you?”

“That and lie to me, make decisions without consulting me.”

“Hand on my heart it isn’t my intention to but I am only human and while I’ll try not to fuck up and it would seem when I do, I do it spectacularly, I can honestly say I am not planning on doing it or anything like it again but that doesn’t mean I won’t make mistakes either.” It was the best he could offer but he hoped his sincerity shone through.

“Okay,” Dean agreed with a nod.

“Since we’re bearing our souls,” Sam stated. “You ever gonna stop telling me what you think I want to hear? How many times did I ask you if you believed in the magic of the bond and you lied to me?”

Dean looked at Sam in surprise, “I didn’t lie to you. I did believe in it, well some of it. I just didn’t tell you the whole truth.”

“It’s lying Dean, you’ve been doing that all my life. It’s the same thing as me making decisions on your behalf.”

“Not really Sammy,” said Dean defensively.

“Yes really! So it would seem that we are both guilty of caring too much and in doing so we screw it up.”

Dean started to chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” asked Sam.

“I know when it started.”

“What? The ‘tell me what I want to hear’ stuff?”

“Yeah. We were up in Montana and Dad bought us ice cream. You were about four I think. It was this perfect day Sammy and we were all happy. I don’t think I’ve had another day quite like it because for just a short while we were this normal family. Dad took us to this fountain and he said it was special and I thought he meant because it was haunted or something but he said that it was special because of magic. I guess he wanted us to be just like normal kids for a day. See the magic without trying to hunt it down and pierce it with a stake. Anyway you came over to me and asked if I believed in magic.”

Sam was fascinated. They so rarely spoke about their childhood in fond terms at least. “So what did you say?”

Dean grinned shyly, “You were so happy Sammy and it was a great day and I just didn’t want to break the spell by telling you that there was no such thing as magic, so I asked you if you wanted me to believe in it and you said yes. I couldn’t work out why it mattered so much to you, so I asked you why it was important.”

“What did I say,” Sam prompted.

“You said that it was important because it made us special,” Dean looked a little uncomfortable. “So I told you I believed.”

“What did I do then?”

Dean looked away tears clouding his eyes, “You said you loved me.”

“I still do,” Sam assured him.

That’s all it took. All the heartache of the previous year swept away. Dean pushed Sam against the wall and devoured his mouth. Sam responded with equal intensity and clothes were ripped off as the boys fought to get naked.

“Bed,” growled Dean.

Sam’s feet barely touched the floor as he flew on to the bed waiting for Dean to join him.

Dean reached into the bedside table and pulled out a condom and a tube of lube. Sam’s heart sank as he realized his brother must have done this a lot in the time they were apart.

“Stop that,” Dean ordered.

“What?” Sam huffed as he watched Dean lube up his fingers.

“Stop wondering how many times I’ve done this. I’m with you now and that’s what matters. You ever been a bottom Sammy?” He asked as he settled between Sam’s legs.

“No,” came the breathless reply.

“Welcome to my world. As I recall you said once the deal was broken we could share it; so it’s time to share little brother. Today I get to be on top.”

“Oh god,” Sam cried as Dean began to expertly stretch him.

“God you’re tight,” Dean said as he pushed a third finger into Sam.

“Fuck!” Screamed Sam as Dean touched his prostrate.

“Feels good doesn’t it? God’s special gift to men.”

“Oh man,” Sam tried to breathe through the feelings Dean was causing him.

“You ready Sam?” Dean asked as he put the condom on, applied extra lube and positioned himself at Sam’s hole.

Sam looked him straight in the eye and said, “Take me!”

Part of Dean wanted to pound into Sam to make him pay for what had happened but the more rationale part wanted the pleasure of their joining without the pain. So he eased his cock into Sam’s tight channel pausing to let him get used to the feel of it all.

“You feel incredible Sam. So tight, so hot,” Dean gasped as he held himself in check waiting for Sam to signal that it was alright to move.

“Do it,” Sam pleaded. “Move.”

“Yes,” Dean growled between gritted teeth.

He began to push into Sam, slowly at first and then faster and faster until they were both panting from the exertion. Every movement caused their tattoos to touch and distant though it was, the old familiar spark was still there; the bond drawing them back into its magic.

“Harder, faster,” Sam yelled and Dean was more than happy to comply. Dean leant over Sam, who locked his legs around Dean urging him to go deeper. The sensations were overwhelming as Dean began to pound his brother into next week. The bed was rocking in time with their thrusts as Dean frantically pumped in an out of Sam.

“Dean,” Sam screamed as he came without either of them touching his cock and the feeling of Sam clenching around Dean’s cock was too much; He lurched forward in one almighty thrust as he came. Unfortunately that one last thrust sent his head careening into the wall and as he came, he went…out like a light.

Dean collapsed onto Sam and Sam held him tight, whispering sweet words of thanks and love oblivious to his brother’s unconscious state. It took a while for him to realize that Dean wasn’t waking up anytime soon.

“Dean? Dean? Dean wake up?” Sam urged but Dean never stirred.

He carefully lifted Dean’s head and that’s when he saw the small trickle of blood. “Ah shit. Not again.”

****************************************

“He’s waking up…”

“Is he okay?”

“He’s gorgeous…”

Dean started to come to and he had the feeling he was not alone in the room going by the muffled voices he could hear. He was almost afraid to open his eyes. Not only because the light would hurt his eyes but in case Sam wasn’t there.

“What…what happened?” he asked no-one in particular.

“You hit you head, knocked yourself out and you have a small cut near your hairline,” Daniel told him in that familiar and comforting voice Dean had heard so often.

Dean’s heart sank. He hadn’t heard Sam’s voice but he needed to know if the man was still there. So he cautiously opened his eyes, grateful for the dim light coming from the table lamp, and looked at Daniel pleading to know but not really prepared for the answer.

“Sam?” Dean whispered, desperately trying to keep the panic out of his voice but no one in the room was fooled.

Daniel could see the fear in Dean’s eyes and his own heart broke at how vulnerable the man looked. He had learnt over the past year that this man was fiercely independent and determined but those months after Sam had gone had left Dean broken and defenseless against the tide of emotions that swept over him.

“I’m right here Dean,” Sam assured him as he settled back on the bed next to his brother.

The relief Dean felt was palpable. He closed his eyes briefly to try and reign in his emotions. When he opened them again Sam was smiling at him.

“Hi,” Sam said. “You hit your head.”

Dean tried to remember how it had happened and then he was hit by a wave of abject embarrassment.

“Please tell me this isn’t happening to me again?” He asked Sam hoping against hope that he wasn’t found naked once more.

Sam blushed, “Umm…”

Dean glared at Sam.

“What? It’s not my fault, you wanted to be on top,” he reminded Dean.

“Hans was worried,” the manager told them.

“He was,” Willy agreed. “At least this time we didn’t have to lift you back onto the bed.”

Dean prayed for salvation but it was not forthcoming.

“Okay everyone Dean needs to rest. So shoo and Sam could I see you for a second please,” Daniel said as he herded them all out of the bedroom.

Sam filed into the other room and waited while Daniel said good night to Dean.

“Hi,” said a voice behind him. It was Tom. “We meet again. So you sticking around then?” he asked casually.

“Ah yeah…sure…ten…Tom…if Dean wants me to,” but Sam was uneasy discussing this without talking to Dean first.

“Call me if you need anything,” Sam heard Daniel tell Dean before the man joined them in the outer room. He gave Tom a kiss on the cheek, “Tom can you give me a minute?”

“Sure. Nice to see you again Sam and I swear I have that problem under control. I just get a little excited,” Tom stressed as he shook Sam’s hand before hauling Hans and Willy out the door with him.

“You too,” Sam yelled after Tom. He turned to Daniel knowing what was coming.

“After all he has been through you still had to come back and fuck him.”

“It has nothing to do with you,” Sam argued.

“Bullshit it doesn’t. I was the one who held him when you weren’t here. You left him. Walked out and never looked back, until now. He almost died Sam. He had lost so much blood that I didn’t think he would pull through that first night. Do you know how long he was in hospital?”

“No.”

“Did you even know I took him to hospital?”

“No.” Somehow in Sam’s mind once he had left Dean with Daniel he just thought Dean would be okay. He simply hadn’t thought what Dean would have to go through to get well again.

“You know what happened every time he opened his eyes? He asked for you and I had to tell him you weren’t there. At first he thought you had been killed but I finally convinced him that you were alive and then he reasoned you had gone to help this Bobby person but he kept asking when you were coming back and then one day he simply said ‘he’s not coming back is he?’ And that was the worst day because he gave up. How could you do that to him? He was hurt and scared and he loved you, still does and he certainly didn’t deserve what you did to him.”

“I made a mistake. Look you have no idea what our life has been like or what went on the night he was hurt.”

“Actually I have more of an idea than you think,” Daniel told him although he didn’t elaborate.

“That night was frightening. I was scared too. I didn’t know how to help him. We didn’t have a home or family to turn to, so I came here but when I looked at him on the bed and I could barely see a part of him that wasn’t covered in blood, I panicked.”

“I don’t care Sam. He needed you to be strong for him but you deserted him right when he needed you most. His legs were so badly damaged I thought he wouldn’t be able to walk again. The blood loss left him anemic for months and the winter just about killed him when he had pneumonia. It’s only in the last few months he’s become strong enough to get a job and get his life back on track and then you show up…”

“…I have no intention of hurting him,” insisted Sam.

“Well screwing him senseless was hardly a good start,” Daniel shot back.

“Look obviously you care about Dean a great deal but I have been part of his life for a long while and I know I fucked up that night and I’m sorry. Okay. I don’t know what else to say to you to prove that he means the world to me.”

“He won’t survive you leaving him again and I can’t stand by and watch you hurt him…”

“It’s not up to either of you actually,” came a somewhat unsteady voice from behind them. Dean was leaning against the door frame to keep himself upright. “While you two do the he man thing have either of you even bothered to ask me what I want?”

Sam and Daniel looked at each other and shrugged guiltily.

“Of course you didn’t. You see Daniel you think because I fell apart when Sam left that I’m fragile. Maybe where Sam’s concerned I am but I wish you could have known me before all this shit happened. Before…”

“You sold your soul,” Sam offered.

“Yeah,” Dean agreed brokenly. “It’s been a tough few years but that doesn’t mean I can’t cope.”

“I don’t fully understand all that supernatural stuff…” Daniel confessed.

“I know,” Dean replied with a small smile.

“But I saw what happened to you after your run in with that poltergeist. Especially since I had to fix your broken collar bone …”

“You broke you collar bone,” Sam yelled.

“Well you try going after the little rascals on your own and see how you fare,” Dean huffed.

“Damn it Dean if you didn’t want me to help couldn’t you at least have called Bobby for some back up?”

“Actually I did call him. He had some demon thing going down in Memphis. I think it coincided with Elvis being back in town so he couldn’t help. Look shit happens Sam; sometimes we get hurt in hunts. Anyway back to the point, I haven’t said you can stay and for that matter you haven’t asked if I want you back and you,” he said pointing to Daniel, “I get it that you are worried but dude I’m thirty, not three, you can’t wrap me up in cotton wool every time something bad happens. Yeah I was a mess back then and there is no denying that I wouldn’t have pulled through without you but you can’t run my life. So while I love you for caring this is my decision. Of course this is all doubtful if Sam is just passing through?” He looked at Sam waiting for his brother to answer.

Sam looked Dean in the eye and with a voice full of sincerity said, “I…I know I let you down before but I want to stay if you’ll have me that is.”

“Yeah well I’m still pissed at you but hell I do need someone to back me up when I go hunting,” Dean responded with a wink. “Besides I want someone to be around for, oh, forever.”

“I think I might be the man for the job,” Sam answered.

Daniel just couldn’t understand it. “Why would you take him back after what he did?”

Dean stared at Sam and simply said, “Because we share a bond and when he’s near me I feel whole again.”

Sam’s face lit up. “I know what you mean. Some things just last forever; I think this is one of ‘em.”

“Danny you gonna be okay with this?” Dean asked wearily, the strain of the night taking its toll on the man.

“It’s your call but I’m here for you, you know that and yeah I can live with it,” he replied looking across at Sam. “But believe me when I say if you even look like screwing this up you will have me to answer to.”

“I don’t intend to screw it up but how about a little bet,” Sam suggested. “If I’m here a year from today you get to pay for a special dinner for Dean and me but if I fuck up then you can personally arrange a restraining order against me ensuring I can’t come near Dean.”

“Sam!” Dean yelled.

“No Dean this is between Daniel and me. So what about it doc? Do we have a deal?”

“It’s a deal,” Daniel held out his hand to shake on it. “I’ll have the papers drawn up and waiting. It’ll save time when the inevitable happens,” he half mumbled.

“That’s up to you,” Sam sniggered. “As long as we can try and get along for Dean’s sake.”

“Fine we have a truce but break his heart and its war,” Daniel warned Sam.

Dean yawned as he rubbed the back of his neck. “So now that all that alpha male shit is over can I go back to bed ‘cause my head hurts?”

“Go,” Daniel said as he opened the door. What he hadn’t expected was for Hans, Willy and Tom to stumble through when he opened it.

“What the hell are you lot doing?” Daniel demanded.

“Ah…”

“We…”

“Hans is happy,” the manager clapped his hands excitedly. “One big gay family.”

Daniel rolled his eyes, “Out! Out! Everyone shoo!” he directed as he shoved them back into the hallway. “You two get to bed,” he called to Dean and Sam, “and Sam make sure he doesn’t do anything for a few days. You know the drill no sex, nothing too adventurous and plenty of rest.”

“No problems doc,” Sam assured the man.

“Night guys,” Daniel said with a smile.

***********************************

“Dean what ya doin’?” A sleepy Sam muttered as Dean climbed out of bed. “You’ve got a concussion man. Lie down.”

“It’s daylight Sammy I just wanna go talk to my baby.”

“‘kay, keys ‘re on the table,” he slurred as he drifted back to sleep.

It took all of about five seconds for Sam’s brain to catch up with what was happening or more importantly what was about to happen. He flew out of bed, grabbed his jeans and tried to dress while careening off the walls as he stumbled hurriedly down the hallway.

Daniel burst out of his door followed by Tom, “What the hell did you do to him?” he called after the semi-naked man who ran outside like his hair was on fire.

By this stage Hans and Willy had joined the other men, “What’s happening?” Asked Willy confused by the all the fuss.

Before Daniel could answer a scream rent the air followed by, “Dean I can explain.”

“Not even twelve hours and he’s fucked it up,” ranted Daniel as he raced outside to be confronted by Dean wielding a crowbar and Sam circling the Impala trying to get away from him.

“Dean hears me out…” Sam tried to reason with the man.

Dean wasn’t interested in explanations, “It’s bad enough that you took my car but this is unforgivable. How could you Sam? How could you do it?” He shouted as he stalked his brother.

“Dean put the crowbar down,” Sam pleaded.

“Only after I have embedded it in your thick skull,” snarled Dean.

“Dean!” Shouted Daniel. “Put it down now.”

“No! He screwed with my car.”

“Dean…” Sam tried to talk to Dean again.

“Sam for your own safety shut the fuck up,” warned Daniel. “Dean give me that now.”

“No Danny this is between him and me. Now get over here Sam so I can beat you to a pulp.”

“That’s it. I have had it with both of you. It’s 6 am for god’s sake.” Daniel whistled for Willy to intervene.

The big man ambled over to Dean and took the weapon away as if it were a lollipop. “Behave,” he growled at Dean.

Sam bent over hands on his knees and took a few steadying breaths, while Dean continued to complain.

“Fine, take it but you’d wanna kill him to if he fucked with your car,” cried Dean.

“Dean darling tell Hans what has you so upset,” the manager put an arm around Dean trying to calm him down.

“He…he put a CD player in it and a GPS monitor,” he sniffed. “Then there’s central locking and a laptop station and the weapons tray has been compartmentalized. Compartmentalized!” he screamed. “You can’t put a body in the trunk because there’s no room for a body when there are…compartments,” he spat out the word “and worst of all…” Dean just couldn’t say it, it was too heartbreaking.

“What darling? What is it?” Hans encouraged him get it off his chest.

“He put…he put air conditioning in it,” Dean sobbed.

Sam winced and Daniel muttered “fix it fast or restraining order” so Sam edged towards his distraught lover.

“How could you Sam? It’s a ’67 Chevy Impala. ’67 Impalas belong to the wind in your hair days, you know the days of free sex, open roads and the windows down.”

“Dean I’m sorry. I was in Florida and it was hot and I was hunting alone so…I can put it back the way it was. We can do it together,” he offered.

“It’s too late. You’ve… _modernized_ her.”

Sam had never had the same relationship with the car like Dean had. To him it was and should be a functional mode of transport but for Dean it was a way of life. It defined him whereas it simply took Sam where he needed to go. Still he was not unaware of the damage he may have caused to his revived relationship by modifying Dean’s car; he just hoped he could fix it.

“Dean I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” Sam asked in his best ‘let me make it up to you’ voice.

Dean pondered the question, smiled wanly and smashed him fair on the jaw. Sam dropped like a stone.

“I feel better now,” Dean muttered as he rubbed his hand and headed towards the door. “Now get up and come back to bed. I have a concussion remember.”

Willy picked him up, “there you go little fella,” he said as he set Sam back onto his feet and dusted him off.

“Hans will get you an ice pack,” the manager gushed as he ran off to the kitchen.

“Wow, you actually dicked with his car,” The awe in Tom’s voice more than obvious. “Dude you must have balls of steel. I’m impressed.”

Daniel gave an exasperated sigh and just stared at them both. “Tom, why don’t you go back to bed. I’ll be there soon.”

“No worries. Hope Dean doesn’t try to kill you in your sleep dude. See ya ‘round maybe,” he told Sam with a snicker.

 _Whatever_ thought Sam before facing Daniel. “I know, okay…restraining order. Well he’s pissed off but he hasn’t kicked me out so you know what you can do with it.” Sam was in no mood to play nice after what had just happened.

“Actually I was going to say he really loves you.”

“Oh!” Sam was surprised. “Thanks.”

“Now get back to bed and remember no sex. He has a concussion.”

“Couldn’t even open my mouth to give him a kiss let alone a blow job, even if wanted to,” muttered Sam as he trudged back inside.

“And Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“Welcome home.”

*************************************************************

 

  
  
**Two Years After the Bond was Sealed**

**Epilogue  
2010**

The limousine ride had overwhelmed Dean and when he saw the restaurant it took all of Sam’s negotiating skills to convince him to go inside.

“It’s a bit out of our league isn’t it Sam?” Dean asked as he looked around the lavish restaurant.

“Well considering we live at one of the most prestigious inns in the state I think this is exactly where we should be having this dinner and besides we’re not paying so stop stressing.”

“Okay but I still want a beer,” Dean whispered in case they were thrown out for not wanting something more up market.

“You can have your beer after you open this,” Sam pushed a small box in front of Dean.

Dean looked at the gift and then at Sam. “What is it?”

“Why does everyone say that when they get a present? Open it and see.”

Dean tore the wrapping off the present and found a ring. He was speechless as he pulled it free of the box.

“We sealed our bond two years ago today and I thought it was time I gave you a wedding ring. It’s engraved,” Sam explained.

Dean turned the ring so that he could read the inscription _**JERK.**_ He was over come with emotion. “Thank you,” he said as he held out his hand for Sam to put the ring on him.

“Well since we are in a giving mood this is for you,” Dean pulled a gift wrapped parcel from his jacket and handed it to Sam. “Open it.”

Sam carefully unwrapped the present and with tears in his eyes he murmured, “I love it. I love you.”

Dean already knew that because Sam made him feel special every single day “I had it engraved,” he pointed out shyly as he watched Sam take his present from the small box.

He turned the ring Dean had given him and laughed as he read the inscription which said _**BITCH**_. “I couldn’t have asked for anything more perfect,” he said as he held out his hand for Dean to slide the ring onto his finger. “It would seem the bond keeps us well in tune with each other,” Sam said as he held Dean’s hand.

“Happy anniversary,” they both said allowing themselves a few indulgent chick flick moments.

“So let’s eat,” Sam suggested not wanting the evening to get too sappy. “Hope you’re hungry.”

“You have no idea,” Dean replied suggestively.

“Later,” Sam whispered as he squirmed under Dean’s predatory scrutiny.

“Can’t wait.”

Sam could feel the color rising in his face, “Dean I want this dinner.”

“Fine,” he gave an exaggerated sigh. “I’ll try and be patient but I think we should have dessert at home.”

“Dean…”

“With whipped cream…”

“Dean! I’m begging you. Let’s enjoy this and then we will have a night to remember.”

“I’m counting on it lover. So let’s get you a big juicy steak because you’ll need your strength for later,” Dean mused as he browsed the menu.

Sam groaned and loosened his collar. It was going to be a long night.

They had a wonderful evening as they ate, drank and talked. They were happy and relaxed; the troubles of the preceding years a distant memory as they discussed the future. Sam insisted they stay for dessert and they were considering the choices when their waiter handed Sam a large box and a very expensive bottle of champagne.

The boys were a little surprised but accepted both gifts graciously.

“Who’s it from?” Dean asked excitedly as Sam read the accompanying note.

“Daniel.”

Dean was a little nervous. “What does he say?” He asked unsure as to what to expect.

Sam read the note aloud: _‘Happy anniversary to you and the gorgeous one. I just wanted to tell you Sam that the war is over. I have torn up the restraining order papers. Also knowing your luck I think that what’s in the box might help. So have a glass of champagne for me and call me if he breaks anything. All my love to you both, Daniel. P.S. What did he say about the car?’_

A look of thunder crossed Dean’s face but before he could ask Sam what he had done, his brother held up his hand to stem the inevitable inquisition, “He’s yanking your chain.” Sam hurriedly tried to explain. “Its just pay back for the Ten Second Tom thing dude. You know how touchy Tom is about it.”

“That’s why he’s called Ten…”

“Dean!” Sam warned.

“Fine, so you didn’t touch my car?”

Dean’s voice had an edge to it that told Sam if he wanted a good night he had better not have tampered with the vehicle.

“Come on Dean. After last year? Do I look stupid?” Sam asked sincerely.

“You really expect me to answer that?”

“No but trust me the Impala is fine.”

“So let’s see what we have here,” he said diverting Dean’s attention away from his beloved Impala.

Sam opened the box and they both stared at the contents in amazement. Sam couldn’t stop laughing but Dean glared at him.

“It’s not funny,” Dean said with a pout.

“Yeah it is,” Sam replied between giggles as he pulled a crash helmet with a rainbow flag on it out of the box.

“Fine have a good laugh but you’re not the one who ends up unconscious every year.”

“I think that’s why he sent it Dean.”

“Well we won’t need it,” Dean told Sam.

“I don’t know you’ve knocked yourself out twice on this date in the past.”

“Sammy trust me I’ve got it covered.” Dean sat back smugly.

“What are you planning?” Sam wasn’t sure it was a good idea to get too adventurous on this date after all; the previous two had been a disaster.

Dean leant forward and whispered, “Dude you’re gonna tie me to the bed; can’t get hurt if I’m strapped down.”

Sam’s eyes glazed over with lust. The image was too much. He downed his champagne, knocked his chair over in his haste to stand up telling Dean, “Drink up, grab the bottle, I’ll get the check.”

******************************

“What ya doin’? It’s too early to be up Dean,” Sam drawled when he heard Dean get out of bed.

“Back in a minute,” Dean whispered as he kissed Sam’s forehead.

“Dean come back to bed,” Sam moaned but then he heard the door close.

It took all of about five seconds for Sam’s brain to catch up on what was happening or more importantly what was about to happen. He flew out of bed, grabbed some pants and bounced off the walls as he stumbled down the hallway to get to Dean.

Daniel burst out of his door followed by Tom, “Shit not again?” he called after the half naked man who ran outside like his hair was on fire.

Hans and Willy had joined the other men, “They at it again?” Asked Willy tiredly.

Before Daniel could answer a scream rent the air followed by, “Dean I can explain.”

“Twelve months and he finally fucked it up,” ranted Daniel as he raced outside to be confronted by Dean wielding a crowbar and chasing Sam around the Impala.

“Dean hear me out…” Sam tried to reason with the man. “Come on guys a little help here please,” Sam called as their friends came to watch the spectacle.

“Did I, or did I not, ask you if you touched my car?” Dean yelled at Sam.

“Dean…”

“And you said and I quote, ‘Come on Dean. After last year? Do I look stupid?’”

“Dean?” Sam pleaded. “It’s just a car sticker.”

By this stage the group was laughing hysterically.

“It’s not funny,” whined Dean. “Guys it’s not funny!”

“I love you too Dean,” Sam blew him a kiss.

A small smile appeared on Dean’s lips as he reread the sticker. “Sammy,” he said calmly as he walked up to his brother. “You are so dead,” and before Sam could react Dean had knocked him on his ass.

“Who’s the man!” crowed Dean as he headed back inside. “I’m the man!”

 

  
The Impala Car Sticker

**The End**


End file.
